The temptation of reading “Heart of a Dog” as purely post-Russian Revolution political allegory may have been stifled too far in the opposite direction, but the story does seem more about general human educational and cultural development, a hybrid of Frankenstein, Animal Farm, and My Fair Lady. Communism fails for equally reapportioning positives while leaving the negatives unbalanced, matching the dichotomy of Philip’s positive and Ivan’s negative reinforcement. Childrearing, petowning, and bondage are collectively satirized as losses of liberty: only the beast admires the leash, with the price of loyalty $1.40. Individually cannot be squelched by bookburning an offending tome after it has been read; ideas are destroyed only by removing the soul, which is glandular, developing with maturation. The narration switches from 1st person to 3rd, with Sharik going from being so sympathetic that the reader initially isn’t sure his species, to a frighteningly foreign and increasingly absent 3rd person. Beauty is pliability, even transspecies; the out of control familiar is monstrous.

And if your galoshes are stolen in Act 1, there will be a flood in Act 3.

What goes up must get stuck on the 4th floor.

Autocomplete.

“Quick- good warm up energy games for 6-8th graders”
Spin the bottle!

Yet I actually had a decent idea this year.

Two miners are arguing over where to dig a pit. One of them wants to find the perfect location, the other just wants to get the job done. They argue back and forth all day. Finally the second miner defers, conceding… “Well, it’s your pick.”

The difference between math texts and English texts is that one has plot lines, the other has line plots.

One of our lessons exploded. It’s a mess, and now there are little pieces of lesson everywhere.

I got so excited about the redvelvet I forgot to mention the clementines.
Fair enough.
It's just, I've had delicious clementines before. Cream cheese frosting is a much rarer beast.
That's exactly my problem with cream cheese frosting. It's become a very common beast.
I left out the word delicious in that sentence, I realize.

Cheese or font.

The New York Times must have a back supply of crossword puzzles along with obituaries.

We’ll either be twotiming strumpets together, or we’ll be twotiming strumpets, together.

Options open.

Singled (halved?) with a shared attribution. And since it’s been a while since an SI unjustly overlooked: Fire Leonardo DiCaprio, hire Sigmund Freud: Inception gets a NC-17 rating.

Lose leaf.

The Answer to the Great Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, as given in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, is 42.

Stephen Fry, a good friend of Douglas Adams’s, claims the punchline is fascinating, extraordinary, and obvious when thought really hard about.

One day, having just finished writing a play with a hidden joke in base 13, walking down the street, I had a sudden deep thought.

Forty-two.
Tea for two.

The meaning of life is… tea for two.
Something Douglas Adams was passionate about.
Something computers in the book just can’t seem to make right.
Simple, brilliant, clever, fitting, funny, and probably true. It has to be.

“…Just tea for two / And two for tea…”

“We need to figure out what we’re going to do about all these pages we need to edit. By the way, did you hear about Elizabeth Taylor?”
Yeah, read it online earlier today.
“Oh. [pause] So, what are we going to do?”
I think we'll be okay without her. Richard Burton managed.

What do you have to leave for? If it’s a basketball game, there’ll be other ones. But, if it’s a girl… there’ll be other ones.

After it.

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate YOU. Keep the channel open… No artist is pleased… There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction; a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”

The author cares more about the words than the characters.

Quotes we wished we had last Thursday.

“Me: Green hoodie, blue plaid button-up, purple watch.
You: Kind of look like Academy Award nominee Kristin Scott Thomas?”

Missed connections.

“I’m At Starbucks Anemone.”

Week 907.5: [untitled]
Revised title: The Empress’s New Contest

(The ink is invisible.)

"Many grantors refuse to give permission if one or the other ellipsis is deleted; however, if you wish to avoid having a text page that looks as if it has the measles, you may want to request the deletion of one ellipsis at the time you request permission."

And so on.

We are on an eternal seesaw. Whenever I feel balanced enough to let myself make plans and be happy, you're at your lowest. But we move, and the same ways.

I will buy a dogsitter and plane ticket for you if you need it. But more importantly, I won't think any differently of you if you don't take me up on the offer.

When I say I'm financially independent, it's because I disregard the future. I'm only temporarily. But that may not be a bad thing, in the end.

Chicago is too cold for you to live. But so is DC, just not that kind of cold.

Don't let other people's 2.5-to-3 pages or definitions of fairy tales get in the way of telling your story. It's your story. You're taking the class for you. Write the story that you wanted to write. Otherwise, what's the point. Besides, we've already made that mistake.

If you offered me to run away with you in 2.5-3 months and become a teacher, I'd probably go with. Not to run away though, but because you would be offering me something to run towards.

Going backwards is worse than going nowhere. But going nowhere is worse than going backwards. The secret is that going in circles is worse than both.

Realizing how lucky I am.

The girl sitting opposite me on the bus looks sad. Weary. I'm not telling her to cheer up, nor smile. Maybe I should. I'm not sure how to. Too late. We both disembarked in opposite directions. And I'm home.

“When you come to town you’ll have them coming for miles…”

Like the missing 311 song in a strewn trail of westward breadcrumbs, March 16 is the waypoint along the trajectory of Pi Day, the Ides of March, and St. Patrick’s Day.

“…Come original / You got to come original…”

Apathy is a defense mechanism. Assassins don’t get stabbed; dictators don’t fall on swords; soothsayers fear no coming day.