“Sausage is the finest form of pighood. A pig can’t realize that unless it’s a human being.”

5 types of pig in my refrigerator.

“One other thing- there are 2 different sets of silverware…”
It’s okay, I’m Jewish, I understand.
“No- the thing is, use either for anything. I don’t keep kosher, it’s just my mother...”
It’s okay, I’m Jewish, I understand.