After I’m done with my haircut I kill time waiting for the shuttle by looking at new phones at the Sprint store because I’m due for an upgrade. Then I walk to the far shuttle stop, because I feel like hitting the Galleria. As I’m walking by Schnucks I remember the time that I ran into Professor L[] there, and am thinking how hilarious it would be if I again ran into someone. So I turn around- and see K[]! Who gives me a ride to the Galleria. So I get there, and am walking around, and I’m thinking wouldn’t it be hilarious if I again ran into someone. So I turn around- and see Jessica Alba.
You’re lying.
If I had that new phone you’d be looking at her in a brown dress right now.

And then I found my and-then-I-found-my-$10 line.