4/30/09

“You see her / You can’t touch her…”

I fought this fight for over 5 years.

“…Never / Come back here again…”

4/29/09

”Inside this box is a vial of either a deadly poison or a vital antidote.”
Schrödinger’s deathtrap: you are simultaneously alive and dead.


A younger, squasheder-headed Calypso.

4/28/09

Scientology is as valid a religion as Neoplatonism and as valid a philosophy as psychotherapy.

4/27/09

It’s either allergies or swine flu.

4/26/09

One shouldn’t need to convince oneself that the correct answer is to spend a gorgeous afternoon lying in the park. For nature isn’t a jerk, passive-aggressively blaming others for its own failings.

4/25/09

On a scale of 1-10, with

1 = I hope you have an excuse for not seeing this so I can stab you and steal your excuse to get out of attending;
2 = I've seen better performances put on by KARL and MPR;
3 = it might be a decent play but it stands for everything you loathe;
4 = flip a coin;
5 = if you can get in for free (and I know you can), go for it;
6 = yeah, it's worth seeing;
7 = yeah, it's worth seeing and I'm not just saying that because the PAD has a gun to my head and is telling me to tell all my friends or they'll shoot please tell my sister I love her;
8 = I feel your aura would appreciate it
9 = seriously, see it, and talk others into going;
10 = I will hunt you down and kill you if you do not attend;

where does Mother Courage fall?

4/24/09

Partial attendance counts.

For such a small person, you cast a huge shadow.

4/23/09

Oppression is a plague, but you take it out of your own cup.

I don't need friends to do the job of enemies for me.

4/22/09

hm I already picked up mail today.
The postman always rings twice?
Is that by Hitchcock?
I was going to say Norman Mailer, but that might just be Postman -> Mailer.
I just thought Norman Bates, but that’s Norman Mailer -> Bates.
And Norman Bates -> Hitchcock.

4/21/09

Free cone day. The best things in life aren’t.

I’d like 0 orders of beef lo mein, but without vegetables. And hold the rice, but make it brown.

4/20/09

Obama and Chavez shake hands, and diplomatic, economic, and geopolitical stances are all hyperexamined as part of a new era.

Obama and Chavez shake hands, and thousands of miles away I have to look up a book (“Open Veins of Latin America”) risen to #2 on amazon.

“It’s the same old song…”

4/19/09

“And flew back to Phoenix to finish the year as it started…”

Rising from ashes, one line traced from the previous to the next, a trail of dactyls leaping forth in rules of 3. That’s the limit: it can’t be the same, it can’t be any more. One knows exactly where one is, what one looks like, and can tell it to anyone one wants.

Mario 1, not 3: you can’t go back.

“…When I said, ‘I hate what I've become’, I lied: I hated who I was…”

4/18/09

Why would I ever not get the confetti.

“This is like an experience I never had.”

4/17/09

Chocolate goat cheese takes exactly like you wouldn’t expect, because it tastes exactly like chocolate and exactly like goat cheese.

4/15/09

“Today seems like a good day to burn a bridge or two…”

Sometimes the realization of finality just explodes like microwaved water.


“…Nothing to see, show’s over: people, just move along…”

4/14/09

“The third one is when you want something overpoweringly <grunt>. The second has the hotness of Eowyn. And the first one is the first one.”

First and foremost.

Pirates 3 was no The First One.

Shrek 3 was also no The First One.

4/13/09

Apologies for the childishness, but it is intended in good fun.

This is EmpTyger. I'm being... vigilant.

4/12/09

Watched Sunshine Cleaners. Pathological liars trying to find honest work.

4/11/09

“I love you. And I love you. And I’m glad you’re around.”

Flourless cake, flowerless fire.


“…I want something else to get me through this / Semi-charmed kind of life…”

4/10/09

“This Is Not a Game” is a perfect suspense for nights requiring an extra hour of insomniacal activity. Save for the negated chapter titles, it is not witty or clever, nor intellectual or philosophical. It is plot; like the enjoyment of a recap of a game, it is sufficient to provide enjoyment.

4/9/09

Sorry, we’re having a slight rabbinic dispute here.

Italian ThinkBread: because matzah was too Jewish.

I think we got all the plagues. Can we check them in the back of the haggadah?
Only the odd ones.

4/8/09

Why is this night different from all other nights?
On all other nights we eat all kinds of vegetables, but on this night we eat wasabi.
On all other nights we do not dip even once, but on this night we dip rolls into wasabi, and edamane into soy sauce.
On all other nights we dine either sitting upright or reclining, but on this night we eat lying on the floor.

On all other nights we eat matzah.
On this night we eat sushi.

4/7/09

The time has come, the walrus said, goo goo g’joob.

4/5/09

True blue.

Skim milk is not supposed to change color.

4/4/09

Milk teas are tealike when warm, and milky when cold.

It’s like drinking the leftover milk in a cereal you really like.

4/3/09

No Shame tonight: 10pm Women’s Building, Olin 2.
Get the message.

“FIRST SAVED MESSAGE”
or
“SINCE I’VE KNOWN YOU”
two twenty-one-act plays in one scene
adapted for the stage by
DANNY BRAVMAN
for
NO SHAME THEATRE
at
WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY
in
SAINT LOUIS
on
APRIL 3, 2009
starring
A GUY
A GIRL
and featuring the voice of
SATHYA SRIDHARAN

4/2/09

Will not autograph today’s Studlife [p.3].

Washington University’s economic situation plummeted to a record low as the fallout from the “textbook bubble” meltdown continued…

4/1/09

Too lame for words.

A pony walks into a bar and coughes several times. The bartender asks him, "Are you alright?" The pony says, "Yeah… I'm just a little hoarse."