Since it’s Monday, let me collect some tasteless quotes that I’d been saving.

“What’s the attraction for girls kissing?”
See, my theory is that guys like slutty girls. But we’re also possessive, so we don't like seeing girls act slutty with other guys. But there’s no problem if the girl’s with another girl.
“Then how come I don’t like guys kissing?”
Well, it must be because you're not possessive.
No. Hm.
Nevermind then.

"What device, invented in 1869, was originally used to treat hysteria?"
I didn't know you could do that with a sheep!

“I don’t date whores.”
You’d make a very bad guy.