As I was heading back from getting some chicken from a place caddycorner to my apartment, I'm stopped at the corner, in broad daylight with lots of people around, by "Mike", who seemed to be loosely with 2 others, who shaking my hand introduced himself as a "politician from Detroit", who was I'd guess a late 20s-mid 30s pear-shaped man with greasy dark hair, wearing sloppy clothes and what looked like plastic necklace and rings, and who offered me a "one time offer" (as he was "in town for only 2 days" to "get with 19 year old and Loyola girls" such as one who he "had sex with on the beach at 6am this morning"), to, if I wanted, "hang with them tonight". I apologized, and as I walked away, said that I couldn't; for I had to "tutor some third-graders in Italian".

Hey buddies, it’s Mike.