Whitman’s final LinDanny bonding.

‘Thus the theme is established that had she missed the train or not, regardless of the sequence of events that proceeded, in the end it does not matter.’ Most awkward sentence ever.
Second most-awkward.

“The work-study questionnaire is like the roommate survey: no matter how you fill it out, you’ll get something.”
Actually, if you fill out your roommate survey obnoxiously enough you’ll get a single.
“Really?”
No!

That’s your bag. I know because from across the claim I can tell it’s the most badly packed bag I’ve ever seen.

When the Russians don’t have vodka, they use salad dressing.

freerabbispeechs.com

This is the best parallel parking I’ve ever done.
<thump>
Still is.