9/30/08

[profile temporarily utilized for space]
“…Helter-skelter in a summer swelter / The birds flew off…”

Out of the nest, into the air, and how sweet the whirlwind is in which my wings will spread.

“…We all got up to dance / Oh, but we never got the chance... ”

It will never be perfect, but I will show up and see what happens. Why not try; at the very least, I will have fun.

“…There we were all in one place / A generation lost…”

And I will get to share it. I will need you to know how sorry I am for what happened. How much I owe you, how much I promised myself, more than will genuinely be said. The guilt over how I chose my own insanity instead of supporting you is not something I think I will forgive myself for. My consolation will be in how you are a stronger person than I am, was, or will be.

“…With no time left to start again…”

With already everything I wanted, what will I go to? No matter what I find, what I will have left will have changed by the time I return. Yet I will go anyhow. With so much to do, and unable to go back, I will only close my eyes and run, and hopefully push through before out of air.

“…My hands were clenched in fists of rage…”

Friendship is a valuable commodity, to give trust that will allow one to trust, to grasp another’s hand in one’s own, and thereby will be led where one could not go alone. The right word will make truth beauty; the wrong word will reveal ugliness.

Friendship is a terrible power, especially for those who will not respect it.

“…Bye-bye, Miss American Pie... ”

9/29/08

[profile temporarily utilized for space]
“…Now for 10 years we’ve been on our own…”

One Monday in September everything changes.

“…A voice that came from you and me…”

My greatest fear is that the same thing that happened to me would happen to you, that as I crashed you would fall.

The fear is unfounded. You are strong, stronger than I am.

“…The courtroom was adjourned…”

I can’t go back. Independence is always important, but now it is everything I could have. I shun what I cannot do, until I only need what I can.

“…No verdict was returned…”

I’m still not completely sure what caused the beginning, nor the end. I’m honestly not sure what help you were. But for trying most genuinely, I thank you.

“…And we sang dirges in the dark…”

No one else can understand, no one else can hear. Mourning for a lost life leads to lyrics of madness. There is finally found independence- but the price is isolation.

“…Bye-bye, Miss American Pie... ”

9/28/08

[profile temporarily utilized for space]
“A long, long time ago / I can still remember / How that music used to make me smile…”


Once I lived a life and heard a song, and kept coming back to where I had been captivated by it. I learned its lyrics and taught them, finding meaning and poetry, and hidden meaning, and discovery, and a clever crescendo, epic and grand and unique. I found harmony, and it was pleasing.

“…I knew if I had my chance / That I could make those people dance…”

Ideas brewed in my head. I had a story to tell, but I didn’t yet understand it. In the meantime, characters and stories evolved without my control. Laslo Bleem was born.

“…I couldn’t take one more step…”

I had what I wanted, I was who I wanted, I did what I wanted. I had found my limit, within which things were perfect, and I was rising, like the sea seen arising endlessly over an endless horizon.

“…I can’t remember if I cried…”

I regretted the elm tree I didn’t climb, the roads not wandered, the heartfelt missive whose reply came after the moment passed. When did numbness cease, and pain awaken?

“…Well, I know that you’re in love…”

I once knew a girl who had flowing blonde hair and a light lilting laugh, who read Calvin & Hobbes, spoke Latin, sang Lobachevsky, appreciated poetry; who constructed abstract sculptures from discarded disks, who perched on rooftops, who ran in the autumn rain; who named herself after a Greek letter and a mathematical constant. She was Phi, she was perfect.

I never had a chance with her. I never will.

“…Bye-bye, Miss American Pie...”

9/27/08

“I was convinced an Obama/McCain campaign would be measurably different on almost all standards. And to watch it become Bush/Kerry, Bush/Gore, has been one of the most dissatisfying experiences.”
“That means it's not an Obama/McCain campaign. It's a Guys Who Work for Bush/Guys Who Work for Kerry campaign.”


The hardest part of any party is the planning.

“Partisan politics saps all the productivity out of debate.”
Partisan politics saps all the productivity out of production.

9/26/08

I’m not sure whether I’m looking for a campaign or a 1-shot.

9/25/08

9/24/08

“Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships.”

The question is not whether you would prefer I assent to your idea or say what I honestly feel, but what I do.

“Is it emotionally dishonest to then, instead of speaking, say nothing at all?”
“The cruelest lies are often told in silence.”

9/23/08

“Call earlier. People are worse negotiators when they’re asleep.”

The question is not whether I assent to your idea or say what I honestly feel, but which you would prefer.

9/22/08

Basking.

9/21/08

“Strumming my pain…”

Some things are bitter, fomenting up what surprisingly should have been expected, with a resonating distaste being brewed.

“…I heard he had a style / And so I came to see him to listen…”

Some things are sweet, heralding a day and a year and a lifetime in which a resonating joy can be exquisitely basked in, with sparkling eyes, akin minds, and a cool breeze on the cusp of summer and autumn.

“…Telling my whole life with his words…”

I need you to know this, that I know how special you are, that I trust you more than anyone else, more than I deserve. It’s not just that you’ve grown up; it’s that you enabled me to.


“…You guys sound great, awesome…”

9/20/08

Forcing the switch to new may indicate that facebook has lost touch with its audience, but at least they speak the same language.

“If ye got somethin' to say, stand fast and speak!”

9/19/08

The strategy with indecision is to be not making the most informed decision possible.

I just voted to register.

9/18/08

Making plans makes me nauseated.

9/16/08

“Most people were either “aah I hate storms” or “yay I like storms” or “I lived in Michigan”.”

Case by case.

“I wasn’t with her.”

There are ablatives, and ablatives.

9/15/08

“There seems to be some subtext.”
There is always subtext. And it’s always lava.
“The floor is lava. The floor is lava.”
<jumps off carpet>


As obvious as the reason why one double coffeeshops.

<climbs up banisters>
<leaps over railings>

I needed that exhilaration.

9/14/08

You remember the drug dealer from last summer? I figured out what his number is. Also, are there a pair of glasses there?

Cat as cat can: 1 forward, 2 back.

9/13/08

“My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why / I got out…”

Appreciation is the presence of an absence of a presence. It acknowledges that something is done which might not be done, something which another might not do, something that need not be acknowledged but is. For everyone has a choice for how they spend their time. The thankless task gets done because the doer enjoys it, not because of any degree of gratitude. It should be enough to receive satisfaction from oneself, from how the time was used; but when instead dissatisfaction turns to despair, with time not being spent how one would want, there can be a restoration by merely not not doing something.

“…And I want to thank you…”

9/12/08

Online, this time, proceed:
Her saying she’d
Allay pushed ‘way ‘motions’ misdeed

I did, is what I need.

9/11/08

        
           

9/10/08

You can have the scratching post. Our cats were too dumb to use it.
It could be a very smart scratching post.


There will be another opportunity; wisdom is realizing it.

9/9/08

Either you do already know or they’re wrong.

Say what needs to be said.

9/8/08

“I already know this story and it’s still TMI.”

N degrees of knowing what you’re talking about.

9/7/08

Shoplifters are ugly people.

9/6/08

Last chance. You want to just go barhopping instead?
“Yes. Stripbarhopping. But I don’t have any singles.”
I’m prepared. <pulls out wad of $2 bills>


Twice the fun.

9/5/08

“Syncretism. It’s a good Hellenistic method.”
Actually, it’s a good Roman method. Because it’s a good Hellenistic method.

One dei’s as good as another.

9/4/08

It shouldn’t be this hard to get from Act 1 to 2.
Make it start.
Make it stop.

9/3/08

This is a bad week to be one of my appliances which beeps when it’s not working right.

9/2/08

There’s more than one way to have a 3-day Labor Day weekend.

9/1/08

In a previous Away Message, I explained my use of third person plural for indefinite singulars. Let third person singular also be used alternatively; as the gendered pronoun in place of a neuter indicates familiarity, so let a neuter used in place of a gendered indicates a diminutive.

In the instance of animals, the third singular has ambiguity: an animal has natural gender, but lacks the type of linguistic sentience which allows first or second singular forms without anthropomorphizing. Thus,, let the third singular neuter be used.


A neutered pet is just a double coincidence.