10/31/07

Not enough time to see myself.
Not enough time to be seen as myself.

(Half half-finished.)

10/30/07

Does anyone have a pair of black gloves I could borrow? (Or alternatively, some time and ambition?)

10/29/07

It seems that everytime I buy a loaf of bread this year, the back half disintegrates into mold.

10/28/07

Scripted.

“Stop this nonsense! Look at you two gentlemen! Acting like children! Shame on you. Both. Both crybabies. Stop this nonsense. Immediately.”

Enter Enter/Exeunt

10/27/07

Quite the spectacle, to be sure, yet disappointly reduced. Certainly humorous, but surprisingly the writing too obviously dated. The original was better.

10/26/07

Author is inspired to novels which become fanfic which become slashfic which become confirmed by the author.

"Someone came into the store today and bought a wizard cape, a wizard hat, and a giant plastic pink wand that was obviously for little girls. I asked him if it was all for one costume. He replied, ‘Dumbledore.’."

10/25/07

Damn it. Put on real pants and go.

10/24/07

“I don’t understand why zombies eat brains.”
It makes perfect sense.
“How?”

For the same reason that humans eat muscles.
“That actually does make a lot of sense.”

10/23/07

It may take 30 minutes, but the common loon is clearly deadly.

10/20/07

“Drove to Chicago…”

Singled with a win after a long SI hiatus, with the following chain. [Ask if any connection needs explaining.]

George W. Bush
Jenna Bush
Jena 6
James VI
Stuart Little
Mr. Big
God
Chuck Norris
Chuck Taylors
Keds
K-Fed
Britney Spears
William the Conqueror
Norman Mailer
Neil Postman
Will Wright
SimCity
Phil Simms
Disney World
Orlando Bloom
Legolas
Jenna Elfman
the Dharma Initiative
"Lost"
George W. Bush


It’s a good time to reassociate.


“…All things go, all things go / To recreate us…”

10/19/07

I could use a few days to breathe and sleep. Actually, I could likewise use a few minutes, hours, weeks, months, or years. But I’ll take what I can get.

Only a matter of time.

10/18/07

I have a silly superstitition whereby I let my graded exams and assignments cool off for a certain number of hours before I look at them. I think it’s because I believe that the result is determined by how well a day I’m having then, not by how well a day I’m having when the test is taken.

Only a matter of time.

This is the part of the midterm where my handwriting gets very bad and my logic loses focus and omg I’m out of time

10/17/07

“We need to travel back in time and make you go to Hopkins so that you help us build me a time machine.”
Except I got into Hopkins because I couldn’t have a time machine.
“There are 2^n parallel universes, in one of which all of us are at Hopkins. It is the responsibility of us in the other universes to bring our parallel selves together. Because I really need a time machine.”
I empathize. Fine, I’m in- but only to morally enforce a no-diverging-timelines policy.


Only a matter of time.

Jewish race : clown :: drunk David Spade : time machine

10/16/07

“You have 3 12-hours clocks. One gains a minute every day, one loses a minute every day, and one doesn’t work. Which is most accurate?”

Only a matter of time.

Can I meta the question?
“Can you meta the question?”
Ooh please ooh please let me.
“<sigh>”
Taking the first derivative of the first 2 clocks’ accuracy with respect to time shows them to be equal. Therefore, since the question implies a single answer, it must be the third clock.

10/15/07

Only a matter of time.

I’m starting a number-of-days-without-walking-into-a-refrigerator count.

10/14/07

“Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree :( “

I’m not sure whose cleverness I more appreciate.

10/13/07

Switch.

10/12/07

“Do not think of bringing your parents to class. I warn you. That would be a mistake.”

10/11/07

I have to keep the lies I’m telling straight and the lies I’m not telling straight. When would I have time to be honest?

10/10/07

Sometimes you’ve just got to call an ex-best friend an egotistic whore.
(Still not about you.)

“You’re so vain…”

10/9/07

Life is full of drama; find the chorus and make it a comedy. Keep on dancing. Keep on laughing.

“Carry on, carry on dancing…”

10/8/07

Long-form : pizza :: short-form : half-eaten pizziola sandwich in a trash can

10/7/07

“That’s racist, and sexist, and 4-bit graphics.”

Wrong on so many levels.

It’s so funny how much none of it matters. It’s just, well, *funny*.

10/6/07

Since when did you become an optimist?
“I’m an optimist? That sucks. <pause> Actually, it’s not so bad.”

10/5/07

Free improv show tonight, 8pm, Brown 100. If you made it through the week, be there.

I've had better days and worse weeks.

10/3/07

“The problem with going to the Career Center for career advice is that you’re getting career advice from people whose career is working in the Career Center.”

10/2/07

10/1/07

“PDFs are more secure. With a PDF I can’t just change your answers to lower your grade.”

Ambiguously vague.

“If you need to write more than 250 words, take out the prepositions.”
“Is that syntactically allowed?”
“This isn’t syntax.”