9/30/04

"The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time", by Mark Haddon, has only prime numbered chapters. It must be read.

9/29/04

If you can read this than you probably shouldn't be unless you can read asdfhaskjhfdasklhfdaksjhfdasksldjnfaskl;jnfdla;sjfdasl;hfdals;jflasdhfakjhfdasl;fjal;shfas;lfdhasl;jfasl;jfasl;fjasl;hfas;ljfhl;asfdjla;shfl;asfhasl;jhfasklhfaskhfasklfhasklhfasklfhasklfhasklfjhasklfhasklfhasklhfasklfhasklfhasklfal;sdfjal;dsjhfas;fjl;asjfdl;sajfl;asdfj;lasjff;lasjfahsfjl;ahfdfasjhd;hfdas;klfhsal;hfas;dlhffas;fdal;skjfasl;djfashfdakdfhfasl;jfasl;dfhls;ajfla;sfjhgasl;dfhgla;skfjadlghasl;fjalsgdhjasl;dghasdjgalf;jhgal;dasl;hgasl;hgdafjghsal;jhd;ljasdhga;shg;asfhgasfd;jashasgjh;ashfdj;shd;ghs;asl;dhgasasdfjasl;fdjasfdl;ajhfdjasasfdjasdfaskjfhkhfasklhfasklhfdaskljhfasdjfhaskldjhfaskldhfaskldhfas the last fifteen cantaloupe words of this sentence, in which case don't worry about it.

Gah.

"You invaded my privacy... my privacy..."

9/28/04

“So that’s a problem with partial derivatives. People could be sleeping along the axes, but there could be a party going on in here.”

“Suppose n = 4. Then there are 4 possible partial derivatives. 1 going that way, 1 going that way, 1 going that way, and 1… going… uh… that way.”

9/27/04

[Speaking of unpublishing: I completely forgot to update my profile. Apologies to those who anticipated my updating my blog.]

Another rut week for the SI, with two of my entries which I did so like:

Whan that Aprill with his shoures Nutrisoote…

and

"Come, Watson, come!" he cried. “The X-Box is unpausing."

More of this weekend’s unpublishable humor:
So we were talking in class the other day and Paris Hilton came up.
As opposed to every other day, when Paris Hilton goes down?

9/26/04

Back, or so it seems. Don't use the pun A# to describe yourself unless you'd likewise use Ab.

9/24/04

Taking a fast trip home.

9/23/04

Today I’m really going to wake up in time for class. And by really I mean like root 2.

I would say I’m rationally going to be in class but I know I can prove that one otherwise.

9/22/04

Tried following “Amazing Race” for a season, with it having been highly recommended. While it was surprisingly watchable for a reality show, I just found the concept to be more exciting than the actual content. It did not compare to the experiences of helping to administer puzzle hunts; I would prefer spending time solving or creating whatever puzzles I might myself. Or perhaps what seemed interesting in summer doldrums could only pale among autumn excitements.

9/21/04

“You can tell it's an election year: James Brolin was nominated for playing a Republican president, and Martin Sheen was nominated for playing a Democratic president, though neither had enough votes to win.”

Likewise, you can tell that it’s not your birthday since J. Garner neither won nor was lying in my bed. Although even were she to there appear as indecently as her bangs you would now be able to view such a spectacle all by your onesies.

9/20/04

I would feel happier depositing my first Work-Study paycheck if $10 from the last check I deposited was not missing.

9/19/04

An edited single in the SI’s online half- no futile paper chase, but I did like:
For he who sees weddings as vile,
No lifelong commitment's worthwhile.
Depressed, he protests
In recess between guests:
No unmarried man is an *aisle*.


And:
The media judge by poll standing
The skill which one has at commanding.
Thus the *approval* percent
At 69 meant
It was time for a fighter jet landing.

A slang-using man did await
An OED-phile, on a date:
He thought she was *aight*
With the plans for the night
But she'd gone off alone to an ait.


And the surrealistically awful:
A Harvard alumnus, cum laude,
Conked his head falling off of a dog sleigh.
He suffered *amnesia*
And thought that Rhodesia
Still hadn't been renamed Zimbabwe.

9/18/04

Walk In, Lay Down, Fall Asleep

9/17/04

A morning without a biscuit is like Rosh Hashanah without kreplah.

Mahzor text aside, I do not really think that logically one should be allowed to pray to be able to pray.

9/16/04

“3. One of the following functions has a limit at (0,0) element of R^2, the other does not. Decide which one has the limit, the value of the limit, and justify your answers for each function.”

3b) Since it is given that either L_a or L_b exists, and L_a DNE, then L_b exists. And since if the limit exists it must be 0, ergo L_b = 0 QED.


Another opportunity for regrets; why must humor always accompany ignorance?

9/15/04

For Secretary.
Because you can’t vote for Emperor.

9/14/04

It’s not the Math Class of Doom. It’s the Math Class of *Infinite* Doom.

9/13/04

“I feel so extraordinary…”

Hurrah for Umrath 4, the dorm’s substance-free hall. For who needs such crudities? Let me be tempered by a liquid more addictive and dependence forming and sensually satisfying.

Grovestand fiat; for it is good; and I see that it is good.

“My morning sun is the drug that brings me near…”

9/12/04

Another excellent week for overlooked SI entries; perhaps it is my fault for exhausting my bad pun quota previously. (numisethic: The gold standard.; numistheism: Belief in the Almighty dollar.)

And I still think ducky defensethink: “Knowful knows; knowwise knowful knows. Knowful unknows; knowwise knowful unknows. Unknowful unknows; unknowwise unknowful unknows. Bush doublepluspatriot.”

9/11/04

        
           

9/10/04

[Deepest settings for shallowest reasons.]

Were I not admiring such a soothing image I would be cursing Paint; but how could I, being moved by such fabulousness that causes me so frequently to hit <Start+D> twice, wait for Photoshop?

Besides, I am busy enough being paid for Excel and declaiming Word.

OMG PUT PSYCHOLOGY AS YOUR FIRST INTEREST
OMG you just failed Resume Writing 101
OMG

9/9/04

Safeway Specialty Sandwiches incorrectly advertises offering “every 8th one free”. It should read “every nth st n is congruent to 0 (mod 8) one free”.

9/8/04

“Future equivalence: using = instead of ==. From now on, they’re equal.”

9/7/04

One of the advantages to having a friend who works at Microsoft is that requests to have Bill Gates’s tires slashed if an alleged feature isn’t reworked can be easily forwarded. Not that this has ever been done.
But presuming Mr. Gates is reading my Away Message:

Outlook, while allowing multiple signatures to be stored, only allows 1 (set as default) to be displayed on outgoing e-mail. If a user wanted a different one, they were instructed by the help file to copy and paste the stored signatures buried in submenus. Besides being ridiculously inefficient and dumb, this is no more a feature than being able to manually type in signatures character by character for each e-mail would be.

9/6/04

Doubled in this week’s SI, which is particularly impressive since for my life I could not find rhythm that week. (Excepting the “And Last” entry, which compensated by not having a rhyme able to be found for my life; although it does receive e-mailed kudos from the Empress.) St. Louis honors my first attribution here by not having a single Sunday Washington Post available, despite my labors. I need a holiday.

9/5/04

While it did feel good to help set up the unfortunately titled Blow Middle School, it hardly makes up for missing a best friend who moved away in middle school who happened to be in town for the day. (Which however is not as unfortunate as doing most of a 3-part question which was not part of the problem set.)

Though now I have new friends: those who would open up their showers to me bereft of hot water.

9/4/04

Watching Bob Saget be more vulgar than Danny Tanner ever could be is as jarring as being thrown from a bull.

9/3/04

I wouldn't want to belong to any yahoogroup that would have me listed in a "members" section on the menu to the left.

9/2/04

"Arbor... crescit... in Brooklyn!" Lepidum libellum, indeed.

Cassell's ugly blurried-faberdieu dictionary will be there in about a month, so that you might translate that when you finish "Quis hic locus? Quae regio? Quae mundis plaga?". When your eyes do tire of straining, Chambers Murray will have been recommended.

"An iguana, not a [sic] iguanodon..." "...walks into a bar.”

9/1/04

Saw Animal House because it was being shown and I had not seen it. I’m told it’s a simile.