12/31/10

“Wide-eyed, grinning in the darkened room…”
Every night as I go to sleep I realize what I need to do.
“…Coming in the morning in the afternoon / Forgetting…”
Every morning I’ve forgotten it.
“…Fully dead already but forever young…”
If I could change anything it would be their inability to change.
“…There's some things that I'm regretting…”
Don’t berate yourself. That was the best mere thought ever had.
“…A gypsy told my fortune then I told her hers…”
I like that about you. Most people get ethically elitist.
“…You'll be looking for your lover in the midnight sun / And you'll perish for your lover when the frost has begun…”
I have a philosophical objection to dichotomy.
“…Why love one thing and not the other…”
You have to like the person you are or be the person you want.
“…I am destroyer / I am lover…”

12/30/10

The poor Cyclops, intention never known, who has no control over whether he is perceived to be blinking or winking.

I don’t think we understood each other or ourselves.

12/29/10

Alcoholics are like pessimists, except instead of always having a half-empty glass, they always have an empty glass.

“…Alcohol, I still drink to your health…”

12/28/10

That's why I'm asking: I'd never do something like that without your okay, or at least your meh.

It's more a thought than a potential action.

12/27/10

Another SI single, from comparing too easy to pick on Washington institutions: the Redskins and the Democrats.

12/26/10

Clue: Museum Caper removes the elegantly simple gameplay of the original but adds a necessary component for mystery, trading the element of whodunit for the thrill of perpetration. Clue players may as well be third person inspectors far removed from the incident. Clue: Museum Caper players must identify with their pawns.

12/25/10

Things have changed.
Foremost, I have settled in a place where I am content with my past and present. For that I have obtained some new things, prominent among which is a netbook, the ubiquitous Bleem. Which, being ideal for my daily commutes, allows new opportunities for communicating just when I have so much I want to relate. So, appropriately enough, it is time to proceed with what I have begun.

12/24/10

You know how they always say, never trust wikipedia, but you do, because, I mean, really, okay, it's true theoretically that something could be wrong, but, c'mon, it's wikipedia? And, I mean, if there were an inaccuracy, you'd expect it to be something really esoteric and not immediately verifiable, by, say, a 7th grader with a budget of $2.25?
“Wikipedia teaches me things. But I can't ever let anyone know. I have to pretend I found the facts in a peer-reviewed journal.”
Now wikipedia has taught you the greatest lesson of all.


Something wiki this way comes.

12/23/10

12/22/10

Fishing for compliments, but just the remarks are biting.

“You never say hi any more.”
Works both ways. The Commutative Property of Saying Hi to People in the Office

12/21/10

Every single time I sneak back to my past, my wit is found. Back from STL, with a third-place SI!

12/20/10

“That rainbow looks symbolic.”
<5 minutes later> The Senate just repealed DADT.

12/19/10

Two Watchers were killed. Whodunit?

As Cinder, oldest and wisest of the Fae, I found Oberon was distracted, Titania flighty, and the soulless Vampyrs everywhere. Puck was causing mischief with Arthur, and by the time I had an eye on him, Watcher #3 was killed. I tasked Puck and his sister Nineve with protecting the other Watchers, keeping the latter safe, the former [mostly] out of trouble, and working together we secured one of the weapons: a wand. Then a Vampyr keeled over: but a few minutes later he was up and about again. Still, since too many knew about the wand, I secretly entrusted it to the Fae assassin, Bounty, with orders to use it only by command of myself or Lord Oberon, who was the only other I told. Unfortunately, I then discovered the reason for Oberon’s distraction: a preoccupation over a vendetta with Merlin over his harassment of Nineve. It was a risk, but I took the wand back for myself, not sure if Oberon’s judgment would be unbiased enough.

Investigations indicated that the Court held a murderer. A Watcher’s spell cleared Morganna. A Vampyress tried to manipulate me against Guinevere, but it was clear she was innocent. I cornered Arthur alone in a back hallway, and brandishing the wand, compelled him to tell me what he knew; it was clear the lad was rash, but no murderer. With time almost up, and for Oberon’s sake- I returned the wand to Bounty, and unleashed her on the last possibilitiy: Merlin.

My crime was hardly concealable: even if the manner of Bounty weren’t known and Oberon’s motive not public knowledge, the Vampyress, Arthur, and the Watchers all knew that I had murder weapon, and my alibi wouldn’t stand up. So be it.

The Inquisitor revealed the truth. I had killed Merlin. Merlin had killed one of the Watchers- but only one, the third victim. For Merlin had deduced that that Watcher had gone rogue, and in fact the murderer of the first 2 slain Watchers!

12/18/10

The best present is being present.
The best thank you note is an available couch.

12/17/10

Facebook e-mail accounts: for those people who like the convenience and features of normal e-mail, but wished Mark Zuckerberg could read it over their shoulder.

I’m like-button phobic.

12/16/10

"What Holds the Heart" offers a challenge: are its lapses due to acting, directing, writing, producing, or which combination thereof? This perplexing question often is more captivating that the actual performance. But as much could be said about those flaws, that was not why the play was seen: quality is not the only quality.

And yet there a few scenes where what transpires on stage, especially despite the obstacles, lets something transcendent slip through, moments when the audience can feel their breath held.

12/15/10

“Blah, blah, blah…”

A 25 year old acting like a 17 year old acting like a 25 year old; half a joke (about nonstandardized spelling?), half an operatic tragedy. The entire nation one day will wake up and stumble slowly home, shamefully realizing that they did Ke$ha.

12/14/10

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON MUGS

12/13/10

“Nonce words ending in -ed ('provided with') may produce other rhymeless words, such as be-fezzed (wearing a fez) and aitched (full of H's). However, these are not always certain (rached, a horse with a white streak down its face?).”

Zeugma Appreciation Society, Chicago chapter.

“So I'm still wondering, are we anti-rhyme or pro-rhyme?”
We're anti-rhyme, except in cases of rape or incest.

12/12/10

“I got my sights set…”

People, pages, plays, packages.
I wish I didn’t have to look back.
I wish I didn’t have to look forward.

“…I can’t wait to see you again…”

12/11/10

“Water Engine” is a different play having been seen as well as heard. The sounds heard are spatial, not lineat. The props only exist in the mind, except for the messages: scripts, letters, points of light. The characters skip into and out of the narration. But it also becomes a different play from the intervening time feauring an alleged persecution over released information.

12/10/10

Whatever’s left.
[My white elephant is a white elephant.]

12/9/10

Again saw Black Swan, recognizing what had already been seen.

12/8/10

I have one last candle flickering; not a candle any more, just a flame, sitting on my menorah, dangling it's legs over the rim of the candleseat. The candle is gone, but the flame is all, “It's a beautiful night, I'm not yet ready to turn in. You all go ahead without me; I'll catch up later.”. And then he just sits and watches and smiles warmly.

Those who do not understand why I still use the menorah I made in preschool, and not an expensive “nice” menorah I’d have been bought or been given or had made more impressively, they are looking for a work of art, judging everything by a standard they don’t even understand. They don’t see that I see something I created, something that resonates with me, something I’ve used. Where I see a cross-section of tree rings, they see wax needing to be scraped off, evidence of use obscuring bare utility, residue obscuring shine. They don’t understand that residue can be beautiful. Or they only understand selfishly, conflating their opinion about their own residue with universal truth, and ignoring as ugly what another perceives as beauty.

You’re feeling poetic.
I’m feeling poetically.

12/7/10

“Come inside my love and join me / I’m your worst nightmare…”

Creature of the night, or at least not daylight.

“…Tonight I’ll spread my wings…”

12/6/10

Black Swan is a glimpse into a world where everything is strictly black and white: the rigidity of dance, the institution of a performance troupe, the brusque NYC, the stark white and black color schemes. There is no comprehension of emotion, no place for red in this world collapsing into itself with the realization of monochromatism.

But there is a meta pleasure, in viewing a committed vision into a narrow, tragic (indeed, tragically narrow) world. Like the realization that which color is irrelevant in a world where the revelant fact is the realizing the schismatic nature of the world, the film is simultaneously a part of and a culmination of the prior elements in Aronofsky’s canon.

12/5/10

The extra unused stove/oven sitting in the corner of the laundry room has been transfigured into an abandoned mini toaster oven in the opposite corner.
“I’ll be in the corner reading poetry and prose…”

Because it's 2am and I'm sufficiently impressed and before you go into hiding, I should probably tell you that “stop doing that” is said loudest and most often in first person, and thank you.

“…You can’t force a dance party…”

12/3/10

Diplomats and spies have motive and means to kill, yet the agency of demise is a crime of passion. The only elements missing are Assange’s corpse and Christie’s pen.

12/2/10

Even the ground under dragons wobbles.

11/30/10

Watched HP7.1, which, like every other HP film, diverges in feeling from its predecessors; but unlike the predecessors, that feeling is at most secondarily from technical reasons. Certainly the doubled length, the lengthy interval since reading the once-read source, or the filmmakers’ accumulation of experience contribute to the effect. But the setting is different: this is a quest into the real world, not against the backdrop of education. The characters are different: these aren’t shepherded schoolchildren, but mentorless new adults. The theme is different: this isn’t yet another progression step on the path to maturity, but with a defined endpoint visible.

11/29/10

“I can be alone, yeah / I can watch a sunset / On my own…”

Happiness is not needing to seek approval.

“…Make me very very happy…”

11/28/10

Another joyful return after a long hiatus, with a SI single into third place.

11/27/10

“The kisses of the sun were sweet / I didn’t blink / I let it in my eyes…”

Looking back and forward, and seeing familiar forgotten faces, who are recognizing, remembering, stating firmly and warmly: You are one of us. This is where you belong. Stay.

“…And now the night is gone / Still it goes on and on / So deep inside of me…”

Such familiar faces, with names that on the edge of recollection; such familiar names that have drifted away from the face; such familiar stories that are shared among such divergence. Everybody has a bright future ahead. Everybody speaks, everybody listens, everybody understands each other.

“…And everybody’s singing…”

For one night, everybody was the most popular kid in high school. For one night, Past and Present are balanced in joy.

“…La la la la la…”

11/26/10

“You'll remember me when the west wind moves…”

Misheard “I never make promises lightly” as “I never make promises I can’t keep”. Both convey the same idea, but there are underlying linguistic differences. For “can’t” is a definite binary, unlike the spectrum of capability implied by “lightly”, with a Venn diagram of promises that could be kept and promised that were. But the actual lyric is especially disappointing in the context of the following “And there have been some that I’ve broken”. For “can’t keep” modifies promise, but “lightly” modifies make. Thus what is expected to be a contrast, with an impersonal statement instead of the active subject, is instead a parallel.

“…Many years have passed since those summer days…”

I hear a different tune, and I look upon the same path.

“…When we walked in fields of gold…”

11/25/10

The worst Thanksgiving travel horrors are those which are self-imposed.
The best Thanksgiving travel graces are those which are gratefully given.

“If they had brought my luggage, but didn’t deliver it onto dry land- it would have been enough.”
“And if I had been picked up at the airport, but hadn’t gone to Nando’s- it would have been enough.”

11/24/10

“Speaking words of wisdom…”

"Take care" is unoptimistic, assuming a dreary miersable world which requires its occupants to focus lest they never see each other again, their planes not arriving properly unless they doublecheck the destination with a flight attendant. The care is wariness, not meticulousness. And yet, this also assumes a world in which occupants are in complete control over their outcomes: with enough care, anything is achievable.

Whereas "[god] be [with you, [wherever you may go]]": that has a freedom, and the opposite of determination. "[see you] later": clingy, certainly, but acknowledging a bond, by which some day the interaction will be resumed. Unlike "take care", which enjoins us with our own responsibility, these conclusions are passive, with a defined or undefined higher power in control of what will happen.

For I like being, not the overachievement of being. I do not listen to make; I hear be. Lack of control does not bother me; for there is a difference between external and internal control, and what I do not is being unable to control internals, and having to control externals. "Take care" is not my world.

“…Let it be…”

11/22/10

“What's your position on the Elgin Marbles controversy?”

As they say in Canada, that’s what she said.

“Some of my friends from LSE thought they could just hop a fence and wander around the Acropolis, the fools.”They might have been British.

11/21/10

“What are you doing? What- what- what are you doing?”

Neither the sassy nor the gay are what’s necessary for averting tragedy.

11/20/10

Last laugh: While lost, we’ll hide
Our lust inside
A long list of missed reasons why’d
Not knock, lest it be tried.

11/19/10

Midnight bacon is an amazing thing; but now for 2 reasons.

“Ok, I followed the instructions, but now my bacon is trapped within the microwave. Am I supposed to remove it? If so, how? Please help.”

“My only criticism is that it's too bad its a late night recipe only, my children have to be in bed early so they won't be ever able to try it. :( Please post one for early morning bacon. Thanks!”

“This recipe looks great! Could you please add the instructions on how to switch the oven on and off.”

“You didn't specify which brand of paper towel”

“Do you have any recipes for cereal? The kind in a box? I really like cereal, but it seems tricky- milk first? cereal? big spoon? little spoon?”

“Sounds yummy, but I'm a vegetarian. Do you have a way to make this without meat?”

“I've just realized I let the bacon overlap a bit on the center of the plate and my microwave has already been going for 2 1/2 minutes”

11/17/10

"You can follow logic or contest it all..."

Accomplish or experience is a dichotomy.

"...The element of progress that you mentioned's gone / And deevolved to something you were headed toward..."

Pyroclasty or spontaneity is a concern.

"...I don't want to regret what I did..."

Not now or special.

"...Like a cast shadow..."

11/16/10

With better tea and just us for aw.

11/15/10

“Too Much Memory” retells Antigone, but it is, as introduced, a metanarrative: a retelling of a translation. And so on the show’s final night, with the troubles of the previous night avenged, with the Bush administration deposed, with combat troops withdrawn, the play feels superfluous. The actors sit watching action as much as the audience they face; the chorus inserts herself among the audience and actors as necessary. The actual plot no longer seems necessary to the mirrored reactions.

11/13/10

<turns arounds, takes a quick look> Oh, All My Children.
“Busted.”
No, I don't watch it, I just know that it's not One Life to Live or General Hospital.
“Digging yourself deeper.”

As the world turns.

Sometimes I can’t stand how slowly the earth turns.
Hold on to the slowness. We will need it soon enough.
True, I suppose. But if it were so held now, then we wouldn’t need to save it for later.
The thing is, we always and only have now.

11/11/10

Imadork but I’m totally taking a 3:14 pie break. (pumpkin)
Totally just made a pie, in the oven presently!
I love how our stomachs are theta-wavy too. (what kind?)
Pumpkin. (what else?)
I nearly got the pecan before I realized, why would I do that.
The first layer of my she is pecan. He it’s good maybe bed it to our .k
haha I understood that.
Good, because t9 did not.

Sometimes I bake scones. I've less time but less stress. Life is good.

11/10/10

“I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad / I got sunshine in a bag…”

Eliminating light everywhere; but I’m okay with that. The crazies come out an hour earlier without daylight savings.

“…The future is coming on…”

11/9/10

“Your dreams never follow the chronology of history…”

Seeking complements and compliments, traversing into surreality, a world of zeitgeist where one would live if it weren’t already home, and by arriving, it becomes foreign to the eye. For ideal is never actual: we know ourselves too little and the rest of the world too well. All that is requested is one night to sleep in your bed; you needn’t to be there. Easy in third person; impossible otherwise.

“…You people are singing to me…”

Would you date yourself?

“…And your song says what it says…”

Would you be your own wingman?

11/8/10

Take a sip and sit back down.

Can we have work outside today?

11/7/10

Yes, but WTF has Biden done so far.

11/6/10

Finally arrived at an Asian market, somewhere along the way having lost anger.

W[]’s moving to another futon, someone here dogsits, and I just bought 1.5L of milk tea.

11/5/10

A wise woman once said, friendships have a lifespan.

No pen for this one. Though I will take my correctional tape now.

11/4/10

“Sockdologized”, sandwiched between 2 otherwise unforgettable acts, is far better than its placement would deserve, with actually fascinating characters, metaplot, hilarious dialogue, and intelligent humor.

How do I have 1 glove and 2 socks in my pocket.

11/3/10

My snooze button is the Purple/423 transfer.

11/2/10

Have you eaten dinner yet?
No, but…
Okay, from your apartment, turn right on N. Broadway Ave. Then go to Aldine…
I’m not at my apartment. I’m at a sketch writing session.
Okay, well, when you’re done, you need to go there, because there’s an amazing pizza I just ate called Homemade Pizza Co., and they have locations in Chicago.
Yeah, they’re a chain, I walk by that place all the time, and there’s another a block away from here, that I was literally at for the first time less than an hour ago.
How was it?
I don’t know. See, I had just come from work and I was looking for a quick slice of pizza before sketch writing, so I was like, hm, let’s try Homemade Pizza, and I bought a small without realizing until after purchasing that their gimmick was that it was uncooked, and I couldn’t walk into someone’s home and ask, hey can, I borrow you oven to make a pizza to not share with you. I have too much food shame.
Well, hold on to and eat it later.
They only had transparent bags, and I didn’t have anything to put it in. But I realized how cold it was outside. So I geocached it a block away, and didn’t tell anyone, intending to retrieve it when I leave- but then you call with street instructions to get Homemade Pizza Co. pizza.

Unspeakably awesome.

11/1/10

“I’m gonna party like a rock star tonight…”

Clothes make the man, overwhelmed in the unnoticed details of quirk and character, across page after page of play. There’s a wizard who knows you, there’s a scroll with the answer, but they are missing. Who all these people are, what they are doing here: none of that matters, so singular the focus as possessions are strewn in location after location, down every alley, within every room, past closed doors, amid every chaos, while that one face seen everywhere and nowhere is sought.

“…Go on / Playing my guitar / Shining like a star…”

If we would but find ourselves, we would recognize where we are.

“…Make you scream my name / Rock the stage / Ain’t no shame in my game…”

I am Waldo.

“…I wanna be a rock star tonight…”

Here I am.

10/31/10

“A Brief History of Helen of Troy” is a retelling of the Trojan War from the point of view of a Hermione figure. Figures representing Zeus, Clytemnestra, Odysseus, Menelaus, and Paris all amalgamate across the delusions of the forgotten daughter, having been mythologically abandoned with an epic to hear that she cannot participate in. But the play’s strength is beyond the script. The props accumulate across the stage, reminders of the evoked pain. The sets and technicals are starkly professional. The actors’ deliveries are as haunted as the audience’s winces.

10/30/10

“The Lady’s Not For Burning” has a comedic and complicated script, featuring a steadily flow of water symbolism and the role-reversal of a woman who maintains her innocence and a man who desires conviction. But appreciating the nuances suffered from (aside from 2 or 3 actors’ notable performances) the acting seeming uneven and probably directorially uninspired. Going into the play with diminished expectations may have helped enjoyment.

10/29/10

“I use urbandictionary for all my spellcheck questions.”

Getting streetwise.

10/28/10

Studio Conservation Theorem
There is a finite amount of manhours of occupation available to a given apartment. The amount of time an individual occupant spends in the apartment is inversely proportional to the total number of occupants.

10/27/10

“I have some news for you that’s going to make you very happy or very annoyed.”
Okay, I choose very happy.

See how things go.

It’s not a lens: it’s cardboard with a hole in it. It’s a reverse blindspot.
Our parents kept us and ourselves apart for so long, we lost touch with each other and went to different schools.

10/26/10

I see what you just did.
(Oh, snap.)

10/25/10

“It's a new dawn…”

Edit:
Changing how we live.
Changing where we live.

“…It's a new day…”

Assist:
Helping each other get things done.
Helping each other survive.

“…It's a new life…”

I work as an editorial assistant.

“…And I'm feeling good…”

10/24/10

I put the me in meta.

10/23/10

Red primarily satirizes age, and in particular the institution of retirement, although other political and romantic institutions also get taken to extremes. But the plot itself is just as ludicrous. Indeed, the tone becomes a radically different if the narrative were told in reversed chronology: if the characters are first shown organizing an assassination, then acting to gain intelligence, and enduring the original attacks that bands them together. However, the presentation of such wacky premises nevertheless holds an underlying maturity, making the movie amusingly enjoyable.

10/22/10

“Me and my brother were talking to each other…”

Anything significant is already part of my fiber. Anything insignificant I couldn’t commit to permanence. Like someone who keeps forgetting what they don’t like until it’s reexperienced, why would I ever get a tattoo?

“…Welcome to my life, tattoo / We've a long time together, me and you…”

10/21/10

“How to Live Safely in a Science Fiction Universe” has some very clever ideas about the intersection of time-travel and fiction; and more generally of the intersection of time and expression. Unfortunately, the novel’s writing itself feels rough, perhaps intentionally, although perhaps necessary for these themes, as the protagonist narrator reacts to a fictional world that they realize is fictional. For better or worse, the choppiness of the conceit distracts from the overall narrative; but this narrative presented, twice-removed from reality, almost seems allegorical to actual experiences of the audience, living in a reality without time-travel and which lacks meta-narrative awareness.

10/20/10

What kind of Walgreens doesn’t have any skim milk but does have avocados?

Cinnamon Life is like a box of chocolates.

I have a job and scones. Job starts on Monday. Scones are on a plate.


Will work for food.

“I’m not funny. I’m eating a paperclip.”

10/19/10

Suave man is cryptoteric.

“Art is when quality of work exceeds ego.”

10/18/10

“The Flat Earth Society is somewhere far away / With their candlesticks and compasses…”

I like to walk. I like the freedom of motion unlimited save by my own capabilities: I can walk anywhere I can. But when walking in one direction I find a different sensation. In my return journeys I feel a heaviness in my step, an uneasiness in my limbs, a fear: a fear that I will forget to stop, that I will let myself forget to stop, that I will not be able to stop my benumbed legs from continuing their motions, that I will be carried past my destination, that I will keep walking, that I will continue inexorably into the past or the shoreline.

There’s a feeling I dread when I walk to the east, and my spirit is crying.

“…With grave determination / And no destination…”

10/17/10

A mug or a shot should threaten nothing more than alcohol.

“Can I borrow a computer? I have to cancel my credit cards. Also, these margaritas are really good.”

10/16/10

“But couldn't good be good enough / ‘Cause nothing ever doesn't change, but nothing changes much…”

A good day is one where the number of cool people met is greater than the number of jobs rejected from.
It’s been a good week.

“…White knuckles / Oh maybe it's not so bad / Just let it all come down now…”

10/15/10

“It was always burning / Since the world's been turning…

Write a cover letter.
White-out a badly designed PDF.
Get rejected.
Get a different rejection for the same position.
Go downtown.
Go back uptown.
Change clothes.
Go downtown again.
Lash out by e-mail.
Drop off application with HR.
Text out a desperation plea for the night.
Drill some shelves.
Wash dishes.
Get invited to BCCBS’s Halloween party.
Lose track of time.
Check out orange netbooks.
Impulse buy a DVD I’ve never seen before.
Find my watch in my pocket.
Try out a new trivia night.
Share a table in a crowded bar.
Get the current events and politics wrong, but the sports right.
Meet a friend’s fiancee’s friend’s roommate’s girlfriend.
Meet her grade-schoolmates.
Meet their roommate, and their seminary-schoolmates.
Meet the 21 year old one of them has been talking to.
Get slightly nauseated at an unexpected reuniting.
Vow to never repatronize an obnoxious overcharging bartender’s establishment.
Barhop to a karaoke bar where there’s a waiter named Jesus.
Pick out Piano Man to be my first.
Abandon any plans to sing following the sounds of drama.
Meet a 42 year old recruited to comfort.
See pictures of his children.
Take a quesadilla slice instead of a shot.
Be swung into dance when Piano Man is requested by the birthday boy.
Give a hug to someone left hanging.
Walk home.
Try to write it all down.
Post a snarky reply to an employment advice column.
Drop asleep.
Wake up into a phone interview.
Fill out a survey for $5.
Psycho.
Be indecisive.
Snack on cherry tomatoes.
See free improv.
Plot reunions.
Put in an appearance for second place trivia.
Fall asleep.
Wake up.
Get rejected.
Get rejected.
Get rejected.
Meet a friend.
Meet her girlfriend.
Meet their 2 roommates.
Meet their 3 cats.
Watch Futurama movie.
Play Katamari.
Eat pie.

What else do I have to say?

“…We didn't start the fire…”

10/14/10

Psycho is odd to see in the context of Mad Men: 50 years later, the same decade is seen portrayed, with the same details but different techniques. The modern recreations of Mad Men seem natural, while the non-anachronistically authentic movie feels jerky and artificial. Yet such a schism is appropriate, given not only the psychology of the antagonist, but also the narrative itself, which abruptly shifts itself halfway through.

10/13/10

1 FRUIT PANCAKES, mango, mango, no meat

10/12/10

“If a mime tells you a joke in a forest, and you don’t hear it, is it still funny?”
I’m sorry, I missed the first part of that- did you say mime?
“Yes.” <dances a vaudeville jig>


2 bits.

“It looks like you shave high… on your sideburns.”

10/11/10

So tell me about yourself.
3 days ago I told my friend that that’s not the worst question you can get at a job interview. I stand corrected.


Things not to do when applying for a job
Restate what’s in your cover letter, only worse.
Not have an alibi for the night in question.

“Did you live in Alabama, Louisiana, or Mississippi on August 28, 2005?”

10/10/10

“I know tomorrow's not so bright now…”

10-10-10

“…It’s another perfect day…”

10/9/10

“You don't know just how to start me up…”

I had a flashback to listening through on winamp with you to music and remembering how awesome a person you are and wanting to thank you for helping all the best parts of me be.

“…I don't ever want the beat to stop…”

I like the thing in the background that sounds like a fantastical jackpot game in the Putt-Putt game room.
Oh, similes we wish we could take home with us and put on our refrigerators. With magnets.

“…I'm not a robot but I feel like one…”

Have you ever had the problem where you’re not sure whether the Thai place you were going to go try out for dinner exists in reality or just your dreams? And after all that, the food is pretty ordinary. I was hoping for a little more surreal.

“…Wake me up or I will keep my head…”

“Every day, every night, is saved by something. That’s why I love it here. Either someone lets me down, and the city picks me up, or the city lets me down and someone picks me up.”

“…up, up, up, up, up, up…”

10/7/10

I may not know what to write, but at least I know to who: Someone who I don’t know, who won’t know me. Someone who won’t understand how they have let themself forget what they read, who will understand that a story can be saved for another day. Someone who goes with the flow. It’s what we do.

“Snails see the benefits / The beauty in every inch…”

10/6/10

Read “Accidental Billionaires” to compare. Mezrich is certainly no Sorkin, yet somehow the former’s non-brilliant prose doesn’t so weaken what seems to be the story’s strongest theme. For facebook seems not to be a story of a woman jilting a man; rather of adolescents given power to define themselves and their world. Facebook was born among an institution of chauvinistic houses who choose which males will be honored by having nameless females fawn over their elite influence; of venture capital angels who choose which endeavors shall be blessed; at a college that matters because it matters because it mattered. So the movie’s added conceit, of disputed legal accounts, misses the Homeric action, diluting a swift-footed race to establish one’s own identity with a tensionless struggle to define someone else’s. Certainly, there are echoes of the latter theme in, say, online privacy; but that is generally independent of the tragic flaws of Zuckerberg et al. His flaw in the book seems to be the need to control identity, and given the actual evolution of facebook that feels appropriate; so I don’t see why the movie, while mostly keeping the same narrative, instead choose his flaw to be an inability to deal with rejection.

10/5/10

Social Network is the story of a tragically flawed hero, the opposite of Good Will Hunting for the subsequent antithetical decade. Action matters more than thought; failings are insignificant next to successes. Education is a background for experience; a million users and a billion dollars are simply numbers. The film is more impressive as a biography than a history, for while there is certainly symbolism in the development of technology, there is just as much symbolism in doors. Facebook itself may as well be a MacGuffin, for the purpose of the narrative- it matters mostly to show how oblivious the characters are in realizing how the world they are building does and doesn’t match the world they live in.

10/4/10

“Hail to those who have come…”

Posters used to get hung when I realized I’m staying at a place. Now, it’s the realization that I can’t leave.

“…In the sunlight that surrounds you…”

When did the limit of fanciful thinking go from having a time machine to rewriting legislative code?

“…Pretend all the good things are for me, too…”

The day the world lost the environmental debate was the day it became an economic question.

“…And the weather changes not halfway between your house and mine…”

10/2/10

“I'm painfully logical / You're tragic and beautiful / And that's good enough for me…”

Cryptic subtext is my kryptonite.

“…I won't lie / I wish that I could be your Superman tonight…”

10/1/10

Found: compounded debt
Misplaced regret
Within pasts in which I forget
The people I forget.

9/30/10

In Chicago, it is easier to register to vote than to renew a driver’s license. The former requires two pieces of identification; the latter, five. One of which can be a court order legally changing your birthdate.

“What's my age again…”

9/29/10

“See your face every place that I walk in / Hear your voice every time I am talking…”

Sexting is a cross between underage drinking and suicide. It’s illegal if done by a minor, but not if an adult were to; and the perpetrator is the victim.

“…I would die for you…”

9/28/10

“Take me away from the norm / I got to tell you something…”

If this had been an actual non-emergency, I’d probably already be undead.

“…Don't give up your independence / Unless it feels so right…”

There should be a stop sign here.

“…Whoa, I got to tell you something…”

9/27/10

Do not want to understay my welcome.

I can see asking for the recipe to be polite, but putting seconds in your mouth? That means something.

9/26/10

“Where have all the flowers gone…”

Bach flowers: the gift that keeps on being something that should be given.

“…When will they ever learn…”

9/25/10

“Threw some chords together, the combination D-E-F / It’s who I am, it’s what I do…”

The difficulty with telling short stories is that stories are told to communicate, and context is required to understand.

“…These words are my own…”

9/24/10

Daredevils’ Hamlet transforms a play-within-a-play to a play-outside-a-play. The rest is thematically unchanged.

9/23/10

““You're so bitter,” your complaint…”

You know how you apologize because you're an awful human being? The reason why you're not is because you apologize.

“…I don’t know what I’m hungry for / I don’t know what I want anymore…”

9/21/10

If your life isn’t in balance, how can you expect it to be in balance with someone else?

There are good things and there are bad things in life.

Do you ever not qualify things, though? Like I'm wondering if you ever experience something and don't assign it a value judgment. I mean, I do this too. So I'm just sort of musing.
heh I assigned no value judgment to your asking that question.

There are things in life that just are.

Don’t compare your insides to somebody else’s outsides.

There are worse things in life than eating cake.

I’m over cupcakes. It’s the cream cheese frosting.
Who besides Mom does that?

9/20/10

The Two Ambiguous Fashionistas;
She’s Usually So Quiet On Flights; and her parents;
My Bag Is Staying Right Above Me;
This Is My First Time On A Plane But I’m Making Up For All Those Times I Never Got To Press The Page Attendant Button; and her husband, El Capitain Hook;
Officer I Swear I’m Not An Undercover Air Marshall;
Mr. & Mrs. Dermatologist Newlywed;
Guy In An Orange Shirt.

I sometimes get terrified that my plane will crash when I look around at what characters my fellow survivors would be.

9/19/10

Oh gmail spam filter, I am so disappointed in you. You didn’t flag “Shocking.Investigation.Report” from “News.10.Report@s27.l1u.n1kixq.kplavojr-8ft64b.ccqgsa6.nswl37.tapahoster.com”? Really?

9/18/10

I’m hoping to see A[]’s show tomorrow- any interest?
“Yes, but I have to say tentatively since I’ll be up at my parents’ house for Rosh Hashanah.”
np I’m being quite the bad Jew this year.
“I’m mostly interested in the free food as opposed to the theological and spiritual implications.”
As I said, bad Jew: I’m going home for Yom Kippur.

Famine has its feast.

Poor ducks, having to eat all our sins.
I think they’re okay with it. They’re probably just happy to have a holiday in which they get fed instead of eaten.

9/17/10

“They made up their minds, and they started packing…”

The tragedy of our time is that our satirist has become our voice of reason. Where is the Jefferson, the Adams, the Washington to our Franklin? Four and seven scores ago he died, and now we have his answer: no, we cannot keep a republic. We know the problems with our society, yet we choose to be part of them. We hear the problems with our society, yet the best we can do is merely hear them; and most of the time we don’t even do that much. Restore sanity? Our insanity is all that we have left; our ability to laugh at our absurdity is our only salvation.

“…Where were they going, without ever knowing the way…”

9/16/10

Whatever surprise I might have had at an airport not selling GAMES magazine to its bastion of magazines and puzzle book buyers was overwhelmed my difficulty in simply finding a vendor selling pencils.

9/15/10

With the distinction between to and cc is so subtle and technically unnecessary, I love an excuse to add a cc to an e-mail.

“Copycat, copycat, copycat / Copy copy copy copy yourself…”

9/14/10

“I am expert at throwing up. Comes from the acid reflux.”
It's a skill.
“It *is*.”
I drink too too much orange juice to have developed acid reflux and throwing up skills.
“Also, comes from the bad periods.”
Again, not inconsistent with my explanation.
“hehe Also, when you throw up on a weekly basis, it's hard not to get good at it.”
So fraudspam is a service to induce vomiting and thereby provide a transferable skill.
“Maybe you should learn to knit?”
Maybe I should learn to sue fraudspammers?


Whatever comes up.

Has a rooftop. References available upon request.

9/13/10

“Sometimes I just feel like…”

The secret ingredient is barbeque sauce; and an enthusiastic co-planner, great friends, great weather, amazing evaporation, an art festival on the way to grocery shop, a phone call at the right time, a simple way up, and ice cubes.

“…I got every ingredient, all I need is the courage…”

(Kraft barbeque sauce.)

“…Back to this 8 Mile Road…”

9/12/10

Rooftop picnic, 1-5 today! (Plan B is taking the LSAT.)

Present is easy, usually. Future is what's hard.
“That it won't work out, that it'll never come, that it'll come too soon.”

9/11/10

        
           

9/10/10

“When? Where? Who? What? Why?”
I think I can answer 4 of those.

The nearest restaurant defines the residence. As much as I’d like to be across the street from Wilde, I think will have to remain behind Chipotle. From which it is saddening to look back, with the last food eaten leaving STL being a gyro from the Gyro House used as a landmark for so many years, at what is no longer gone to.

Where is always the hardest.

9/8/10

There has to be a better place for the insert key than between the backspace and the delete keys.

9/7/10

If you’re going to wet the soap and rumple the towels, you may as well get your hands dirty.

9/5/10

“I won’t have to say a word / I’ll stop thinking…”

May have accidently finished the thing I was writing to keep sane. Not to imply that I’m sane.

“…I’m finished with lies, lies…”

9/4/10

“Life generally was quite good…”

Rome didn’t fall in a day.

“…Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing…”

9/3/10

If someone says that their favorite of the 7 dwarves was someone besides Grumpy or Sleepy, they’re lying.

9/2/10

Day 470
Human finds dead laptop
Human finds dead hamster
Human gets punched in the face by a freezer.


Stiff upper lip.

Current standings
1) Cat
2) Human

9/1/10

Realizations, like scissors, come in pairs.

You're a good thing, is what I'm trying to say. No, not trying. I'm saying it. See? Or do I need to draw a speech bubble around it? I think I might.

     (------------)
  (   You're a    )
(   good thing.  )
 (------------ |  /
                   |/

8/31/10

“As I walked into the charity store…”

Proper P[] birthday-party attire is P[]-birthday party attire.

“…It was the shirt you were wearing…”

8/30/10

It’s one of those only-once-a-year occurrences that there’s really no reason I couldn’t do more often, like playing frisbee, or realizing I really need to back up everything on my computer very very soon quickly before it explodes ack hold together argh this might work blech

Thrown for a loop.

8/29/10

Possible explanations for a dog-walker going up and down the same short stretch of street over and over during a relatively brief span of time:
1) Repeatedly forgetting items necessary for dog walking.
2) Heroically attempting to have a found lost puppy sniff out its apartment.
3) Methodically testing the point at which bystanders will methodically test a pedestrian’s balance.

8/28/10

“I've been for a walk on a winter's day…”

School is supposed to be a place of learning; instead, the primary focus becomes about structured work. Ideas are quantified as credits and page lengths, to occur on a rigid schedule of hours, days, and semesters. Knowledge is secondary to demonstrable accomplishment.

“…Stopped into a church I passed along the way…”

A teacher is who is there for you; for it is your experience.

“…The preacher likes the cold / He knows I'm going to stay…”

Puff on, bubble-blowing missionaries: your attending flock awaits.

“…All the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey…”

8/27/10

To have a lifelong aspiration of writing the next Great American Novel’s title.

8/26/10

If a rejection letter feels too formal, a company always has the alternative of instead hiring a friend’s sister, for a more personalized notification that they’re not interested in hiring you for the position at this time.

8/25/10

HMS Plankton

“…And we'll all float on okay…”

8/24/10

I just flew into town and boy did I not steal this joke from someone who stole this joke from an ostrich.

8/19/10

“I count to three and grin / You smile and let me in…”

benchmark

“…We're talented and bright / We're lonely and uptight / We've found some lovely ways to disappoint…”

+ watershed

“…But the airport's always almost empty this time of the year / So let's go play on a baggage carousel…”

= watermark

“…Set our watches forward like we're just arriving here / From a past we left in a place we knew too well…”

8/18/10

Strunk & White: BFsF.

8/17/10

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World glimpses the clung past, be it the already-decade-removed setting, the repeatedly-not-over-exes plot, or the quest-for-maturity theme. The jokes are frequent, but nevertheless not the less funny for it, stopping just short of overdone, with humor that is both common and yet almost unerringly clever. There is no way to not feel old while watching it, in both senses: the dread of realization and the bliss of nostalgia.

8/16/10

Sine labore.
(Nihil.)

8/15/10

It’s not summer without a lasagna.

8/14/10

Anticlimactic battle between good and evil.

“Stop that.”

”Okay. Sorry.”

8/13/10

Like the elegance of a wordless proof, there is a beauty in simple truth, a reminder of what is trying to being said, lost amid verifiability, significance, context, motivation; lost amid so much listening that isn’t being done. Information has become tethered to communication, with perception abandoned.

“…I feel as if I'm looking at the world from the bottom of a well…”

8/11/10

“41) How would you describe your ideal job?
(A) Ability to decide for myself what to do and how to do it
(B) Being told what to do, but not how to do it
(C) Being told what to do and getting suggestions on how to do it
(D) Being clearly told what to do and how to do it
(E) I am not sure”


You’re better than this, 41. You’re an actual question, with actual answers. Look around you; look at the company you keep. You don’t belong here.

8/10/10

look whatever you know this rant you've heard it before just call me tomorrow I don't want to type it out again nothing's changed

8/9/10

“I was tired…”

Deep breaths.
If networking really meant going to yoga class with J[], I would be okay with it.

“…If you’re not into yoga / If you have half a brain…”

8/8/10

Irreplaceable.

Forget either/or; this shouldn't have to be none-of-the-above.

8/7/10

This is what you get for having a sister.
That’s okay; it’s not like I’ve not always done this with you all the time, and I’m not even your sister, even though we always say it.

8/6/10

Gift receipt, please? What kind of birthday present is disillusionment. Try instead the best gelato so far found on this continent with secret imported Nutella in a fresh waffle topped with flavored whipped cream, with a side of designed-for-Belgian-royalty dark chocolate.

I feel everyone could use a little more goofdom and a little less fear of recycling bins.

8/5/10

One could find uncanny
How I, Danny,
Having proved double lives can be
Had, do not have any.

8/3/10

“As a child, I knew / That the stars could only get brighter…”

Age used to be a binary: one was either a kid or an adult.

“…And we would get closer…”

And then age became a diversity of demographic strata and substrata: boomers, babies, children of the 80s, octogenarians, teens, tweens, 20-somethings, 30-somethings, young adults, old timers, retirees, newlyweds, freshmen, sophomores, senior citizens, GenX, GenY, GenMe…

“…Now that I'm older, the stars shed light upon my face / but when I found myself…”

Age used to mean something, before self-definition.

“…But it will not present my presence / And it makes my past and future painfully clear…”

You don’t always need to have a next. Sometimes you can have a now.

“…Because I feel blind…”

8/2/10

At Newberry Book Fair, picked up a compilation of linguistics articles, an anthology of short stories, and a parody of Scandinavian travel hints; but not Lolita.

8/1/10

Cat : Soccer :: Dog : [TBD]

7/31/10

“Sell out with me tonight…”

When there’s only two choices, there’s only one way to compromise.
Take the money.
Run.

(It wouldn’t be an overplayed song that I hate if I weren’t forced to listen to it all the time.)

“…They tell me it’s cool / I just don’t believe it…”

7/30/10

Inception mythologically explores the dream/reality dichotomy. A Theseus figure attempts to emerge from the maze and return home, dealing with father-figures, abandonment, and the monster in the middle. I was expecting there to be a more explicit revelation regarding Ariadne, literally and symbolically: while she certainly sets the thread to be followed, for her abandonment to fully parallel would require a bit more of an analogue than is necessarily present within the movie- although the final scene could certainly hint to that. Nevertheless, it is even thematically appropriate that the answer is as indefinite and as derivative as any mythological idea is, different entrances to the same labyrinth.

7/29/10

“I want to be rich and I want lots of money / I don't care about clever, I don't care about funny…”

Society is an economy: a complex system of buyers who don’t have, sellers who don’t need. None of who can see the beauty for the trees; for they have gone too far into the forest. Morality is as abstract as time; the only difference between one year and the next is what arbitrary location some arbitrary person was born. Post-apocalypse began the day parents opened their eyes.

“…And it's not my fault, it's how I'm programmed to function / I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror…”

Identity is the difference between what one is doing and what one is thinking of doing.

“…I don't know what's right and what's real anymore / And I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore…”

7/28/10

North buy, southeast.
(It doesn’t make sense.)

7/27/10

“So there’s this scene in the Fugitive when he’s running from the Marshall…”

Tell me something I don’t already know.

“We were at this place in Annapolis that serves good seafood…”

7/26/10

I don’t like responsibility.
I don’t have power.

From basement to rooftop.

7/25/10

Mattress stores open are open for 24 hours, even when they are not.

How could anyone be so closedminded about being openminded.

7/24/10

“What I hate most about the Socratic method is how well it works.”

Showing up 15 minutes late to class trying to pass off an incompletely done assignment is not a successful solution to forgetting to do homework, not when the class only consists of 2 people, 1 of who is the professor.

It’s like it lied in the application process, but it’s so much harder to fire an employer than an employee.

7/22/10

Someone crossing the street got mostly across and then turned back, and seemed very flustered about it. I wanted to tell her, it’s okay, we all do it; but she had already started to cross in the other direction.

Still time to change the road you’re on.

She commits not with her heart but with her schedule.

7/21/10

Muppets have eyes, eyes are organs; therefore Muppets are organic.

7/20/10

Fireworks is an oxymoron.

7/19/10

Okay, pretending we're on Amazing Race or something, here's my advice:
Excellent leadin.
Turn off your computer (if you need to save current tabs as favorite, do that, but off off). Go outside, and (not using the internet) find a place that sells Italian newspapers. Buy one, and go to the library or a coffee shop, and translate an article, even if you have to look up every word.
Wow, that is much more Amazing Race than I was expecting.


Non-elimination.

But I mean, ask people. Go all Cash Cab street-shoutout on it.
sh You’re mixing game show metaphors. I should go before you make it worse.

7/18/10

SPF 2-3 years, then skin cancer.

7/17/10

Catch-20-something
One needs relevant experience to get hired; one needs a job to get relevant experience.

7/16/10

In some cities, with a late start, after prior events running long, when the train being taken is single-tracked delayed, the street being closed for Transformer shoot location planning only makes all the more final a hopeless evening’s concession that inception is futile.

In any other city, such events would be of misery; but I am in Chicago.

I still don’t want to buy resume paper, he said, riding the el at 2am. I still want to buy a giant stuffed tiger.

7/14/10

The darker side of x, where x is some country, probably 2-syllables, maybe Belgium.

Unfortunately, the only x that came to mind was pizza, followed by slugs. I am of no help.
Pizza is good. Slugs- we’ll let that one slide.

7/13/10

“We got older and I should've known…”

Songs that misuse the subjunctive could can be liked.

“…But frankly I still feel alone / Oh, but you'll survive / So I may as well ditch my dismay…”

7/12/10

“You’re hot, then you’re cold…”

In summer, there are full freezing blasts of the air conditioning; in winter, gathering around furnaces and fireplaces. Only in spring and autumn can be found a natural climate to find oneself in. The world is bipolar.

Which extreme do you hate least?

7/11/10

Box of hats wu.

Russian spies: We’re not that interesting. We are obese and mass produce tatertots. The awful thing is if we mass produced marvatots, we wouldn’t have either problem.

7/10/10

“You can see in your eyes / That you stop believing…”

Ah, to be in the decline of the late Cold War again, when the horizons were watched with fear and hope; when why mattered less than what; when the Russian sleeper agents in our neighborhoods could simply be assumed; and life would just go on.

“…And you go on day-to-day / While your heart just fades away…”

Governments treated captured spies like children at playground games; instead of youths having to navigate geopolitical and socioeconomic paradigms just to get through the day.

“…It’s much too revealing / You can talk your way out / But you can’t fight the feeling…”

This decade is neither a time of hope nor of ignorance. Once complacency was all that was foreign; now inevitability is.

“…That you’re fooling yourself to be here and not belong…”

Listen up, comrades: you might learn something.

“…There’s just no way out…”

7/9/10

A) A > B
B) A < B
C) A = B
D) there is not enough information

The problem with the SATs is that D is not an answer. Sure, there is a logical necessity to account for it. But D is not an answer to a question: it is an indeterminant between question and answer. D is a lack of an answer made into an answer; it begs the question it purportedly answers. For in real life, one cannot answer D. Nor does not have the luxury of being able to analyze everything into complete conclusion. D is an artificial construction of an imperfect society that accepts acknowledged ignorance as the end, rather than a step.

Time’s up, pencils down.

7/7/10

“Can you hear my heart beat in this world / Do you know that behind all these words / Lies the deep desire…”

My mattress isn’t working. It just lies in bed all day.

“…All my dreams to be all I can do…”

7/6/10

While I am not in any way familiar with the original source on which the Last Airbender is purportedly based, that does not stop me from cruelly laughing at the casting, the acting, the dialogue, the characterizations, the showing, the telling- really, every part of this movie. Indeed, admiring the hilarious horrendousness is the only reason and way to see it. Although, such scorn only gets so far through; the rest of my coping consisted of either envisioning a Fifth Element crossover or a video game based on the film. For the material on screen almost works as is as a video game, and better than a movie: an quadruply balanced play dynamic, minimal plot to relay flat protagonists from one encounter to the next, and heavy pauses after every line of dialogue as if to prompt the pressing of a button to bring up the subsequent line.

7/5/10

As I was heading back from getting some chicken from a place caddycorner to my apartment, I'm stopped at the corner, in broad daylight with lots of people around, by "Mike", who seemed to be loosely with 2 others, who shaking my hand introduced himself as a "politician from Detroit", who was I'd guess a late 20s-mid 30s pear-shaped man with greasy dark hair, wearing sloppy clothes and what looked like plastic necklace and rings, and who offered me a "one time offer" (as he was "in town for only 2 days" to "get with 19 year old and Loyola girls" such as one who he "had sex with on the beach at 6am this morning"), to, if I wanted, "hang with them tonight". I apologized, and as I walked away, said that I couldn't; for I had to "tutor some third-graders in Italian".

Hey buddies, it’s Mike.

7/4/10

Fireworks are our Kalashnikov rifles: gunpowder fired skywards in a gratuitous expression of victory. Yet it is gratifying how otherwise egalitarianally absent such display is of symbolism. Even the hues, which would be expected to be starkly repeated reds, whites, and blues, are instead these and greens, golds, and purples mingled without any pattern or purpose. The only overt symbolism is an occasional smiley-face. There is no analysis, just the simple contented expressions of ooh and aah. Such is victory.

7/3/10

A night anon, a meager coupon I’ll
Redeem, obtained for plucking forth a pearl
Of wisdom known by me solely from Style,
Which satisfied the bar trivia girl.
I did explain to stunned Chicago bar
The esoteric contest. One man said,
On hearing a description of this Czar,
“Wasn’t he who wrote some Bell piece which I read?”
A chit in fading ink is all I’m owed,
So fortunate to receive anything
In inkless years since my cup overflowed
Never with more renown than second string.
This tiny violin I play lacks fame.
I beg you, please, reward it all the same.

7/2/10

What does it all mean.

“I may have edited the wikipage of my high school’s famous alumni to remove her, since she didn’t graduate. Meanest I’ve ever been.”

What do you do when you run into the parents of a girl you totally made cry in 6th grade?

They may not remember it. And for all you know, they may have made their daughter cry in 6th grade too. You could have so much in common.

“Next time you’re about to say something mean about yeourself, instead say something about someone else, and not as mean.”

They’re so self-involved, and I don’t even mean that as an insult.

I realize that she was a very good friend when I needed a best friend. But I also realize that she was a very awful friend when I needed a best friend.

7/1/10

Comings and goings: One abode is sought, another is shuttered. Rent due, deposit refunded. Too big to fail, too late to catch. Names from the past, words of thanks. No luck in finding anything except happiness. Surprise, there’s a moose in your cupboard.

6/30/10

Nuclear option.

6/29/10

I’m a short-term boy in a long-term world, except that sounds like a sleazy cheesy dating site blurb.

“Coin-operated boy…”

6/27/10

“You don't want to stop trying / You want me, well…”

The chin can be lifted up only so high. The pain in the neck is a pain in the neck.

“…Arms up, just dance / Arms out, just dance…”

6/26/10

Only you and I could take mangos this seriously.

Chicago tastes like a hopping brass quartet, with a side of goat and plantains.

"It's not like we're saving people's lives or anything. We're making cakes."

6/25/10

5 hour energy drink comes in a caffeine-free flavor.

6/24/10

“What's in a name (name: A word or string of characters that represents a cell, range of cells, formula, or constant value. Use easy-to-understand names, such as Products, to refer to hard to understand ranges, such as Sales!C20:C30.)? That which we call a cell range, function, constant, or table would tally and toil just as sweetly, methinks. But nay, don't take me at my word. Read what follows that is writ, to master all manner of names that befit. / Pray tell, what dost thou desire to do?”

What change from 2003 to 2007 to 2010 seems to be only nominal.

6/23/10

Bait and switch and switch.

We have telephones to make calls, not to tell people to call us.
This is before we realize that our parents are foolish.

6/21/10

“With all the demons I possess…”

Atop one summer peak, I made a ruckus or 2: part from curiosity, part from frustration. A few people above me heard, and they offered ignorance and sympathy. Years later, with the heights of the past forgotten, all I have of value are the harsh truths of reality slid down to; but I give them nonetheless as a comfort. And in return, I am played a random melody, only to discover that I already know the song.

Oh Balthazar Getty, you will always be the guy who looks like the guy who plays Laertes in that one version of Hamlet to me.

Lying is contagious, yes; but it is also hereditary.

“…Longing for a life / Beyond the silver moon…”

6/20/10

Saw Toy Story 3. The plot surprisingly is not simply a dichotomy of whether or not the protagonists will succeed. There are constantly obstacles to be overcome, but amidst that the characters must discover what success that success actually is. Preservation, archivation, public and private donation, and destruction are all put forth as options in response to obsolescence. But not only is the right option not predefined, but there may not be a single correct answer. And that is like finding a Bachelorette where a Disney Princess is expected: it is not simply awaiting a Prince Charming, but actively determining what even is charming. And then having that unexpectedly sophisticated plot within an as expected otherwisely superlative Pixar production.

6/19/10

It’s no surprise that we ended up as screwed up as we did. But consider how well we ended up. There are 2 of us and 1 of K[]: it could just has easily have been 2 of K[] and 1 of us.

Thank you for being you.
Thank you for being you.
Thank you for being us.
Thank us for being us.

6/18/10

“Words of poisoned darts of pleasure…”

One of my guiltiest pleasures is lurking: listening with objective and undisturbing anonymity through the sociologically enormity that is online. Real life rarely is as transcendentally enlightening as the forum postings, blog responses, article comment sections, and wiki talk pages that people take energy to compose and time to read and reply to. Who are these people? What are they trying to do? Who does that? Why?

“I'm sorry, 68.82.154.130, but "your mom" is not a reliable source, or, at least, not a verifiable one.”

And every once in a while, some words are just
a context away from pure hilarity. Some Onion editorials would write themselves.

“…This one is an easy one: feel the word and melt upon it…”

6/17/10

"The researchers, from four Italian universities, said they believed Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio died of sunstroke while weakened by syphilis."

Don't know what more proof is needed that
Caravaggio was a vampire.

6/16/10

When I realize I'm not at the beach, I actually live here now.

Just when I thought I was getting used to this place, I realize that I got on a southbound Purple line instead of a northbound 20 minutes ago.

6/14/10

I really hate when the instinctively done good deed goes unrewarded. What choice, between unearned bonus and book-vending karma.

Somewhere there’s a copy of Upton Sinclair with a Time Traveler’s Wife DVD inside.

6/13/10

“History repeats itself…”

Saw Karate Kid, in which China is the new California, and middle school the new high school. The remake’s homages are weaker reflections of the classic’s memorable punchiness, but it is not the 80s; and the fact that it is a reflection is implicitly and explicitly acknowledged.

“…You’re the best / Around…”

6/12/10

Dear Internet,
These past 2 weeks we’ve gotten together at so many coffeeshops, and I’ve having a really good time with you. Just down the street I have a nice apartment. Why don’t you come over for a little bit. I think we could have a connection.

6/11/10

“Late Night Freak Show” may be a monster of it’s own creation; or it could just be the beard.

6/10/10

Today is apparently International Networking Day.
(…So why didn’t anyone tell me.)

6/9/10

Can’t or cantal.

I was going to send a fax to a job I’m not going to get for $7. Or I could buy cheese from the artisan bakery I passed on the way. I hope you’re proud of me.

6/8/10

A Brief Tour of Lakeview Tea Establishments.

Background music at a coffeeshop is like the commercial breaks you talk over. It's meaningless, but if it's not there, it's awkward. You're just silently staring at a blank screen. You need that ambience.

So I went first to Argo Tea. I'm about to pay for my order when I notice that there's a little sign that they only give 2hrs Wifi with purchase. And I'm like, really? And the guy's like, yeah. And I'm like, because I'm going to need more than that. (And, as I don't say, every place else in the world is unlimited.) And another guy snottily says, you can go to Starbucks if you want to pay $5. So I'm like, well okay then, bye.

6/7/10

“Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy…”

Woke up this morning, looked in my refrigerator, and realized was out of self-confidence. Yet like in Sliding Doors, it’s gratifying to have a realization which, no matter how differently done, would have nevertheless been realized at the same time in a completely different way.

“…Ain’t got no money in my pocket, but I’m already here…”

6/6/10

Would probably have had a different perspective on “Hunting & Gathering” at a different point in my life, but I am where I am now, now.

“She moves through life as if it were a straight line.”

6/5/10

“1) BLEND the softened margarine*, rice milk**, and frosting mix at medium speed for 2 minutes, occasionally scraping the bowl.

* Substitute dairy free margarine or butter† according to your needs.
** Substitute plain soy milk or milk† according to your needs.
† Unless you are allergic to this ingredient.”

6/4/10

Step 1: Concoct a series of proclamations allegedly coming from divine authority.
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Prophet!
Step 4: Realize with a quick google that your cleverness is unfortunately not original.

6/3/10

We have a linguistic disconnect. I can't date anyone who I am unable to explain to that I can’t date someone who would refer to dating as “having a girl”.

We had a metaphor together: it was a relationship that did not use the word “like”.

“I am (metaphor). / Actually, I’m (extended metaphor).”

6/2/10

Calypso discovered MirrorCat. They are not going to be BFFs any time soon.
She inherited that from me.
MirrorYou inherited that from MirrorHer.

What you see is what you get.

6/1/10

Walking across the street at 1am and buying orange juice makes one officially a resident of a city, officially defined as a place which has the Onion for free on street corners.

5/31/10

Day 375
Hamster gets stuck under futon.
Human gets rid of futon.
Hamster gets stuck under bed.
Human gets rid of bed.
Human goes to Chicago.
Hamster goes to Chicago.
Cat goes to Chicago.
Human gets new futon.
Human gets new bed.
Hamster gets new bedding.
Cat looks in mirror.
Cat hides under bed.

Here we go.


Current standings
1) Human
2) Hamster
3) Cat

5/30/10

With who I was getting a ride from.

I say Morocco, he says surprising. It’s like a reflex.

5/29/10

“Break ground, buckle down / It's time…”
Time runs out.
“…Let's move from this underground / Shed some of this blacklight to surrounding towns…”

Go forth and shine.
“…How much responsibility do you bear / For the ill…”
Across state lines.
“…Line up, state your name, state your claims, claim your stakes…”
Get while the giving’s good.
“…Look ahead now / Oh, let the countdown usher / The philanthropic mimes…”
Nothing left to say.
“…And scrape the paint that hides the crimes / Of a silent kind…”
Let everything go.
“…Is the position that you hold one that could parallel / A synergistically greater plan? / Or would it force us all to be packed…”
The hourglass empties.
“…In a sloping, quickly given golden sand…”

5/28/10

“I want to know how Shakespeare in the Park's production of Hamlet is.”
I want to see it instead of packing and waiting for craigslist buyers and whining about how my final hours in STL are being spent packing and waiting for craigslist buyers instead of seeing it.


I never meta-reference I didn’t like.

When they ask for non-related references, I sometimes put Aunt L[].
I hope you just put L[].

5/27/10

Whoever designed the layout for yesterday’s NYT front cover should be shot.

5/26/10

What kind of answer are craigslist buyers looking for when they ask “Is the desk available?” Not just fraudspam- these are real people who seem to be expecting a certain reply, and I’m running out of guesses. Yes? Yes + Location? Yes + repeating contact information? No?

Economy of words.

'Is the desk available, because I don’t want it.' I mean, really, who does that? Why not, 'What’s a good time for me to not pick it up?', or 'How much won’t I be paying to not take it?'.

5/25/10

“I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone…”

Don’t look back. The only visible part of the past lost to the present will be messes needing cleaning, and those get swept away regardless of what is done.

“…Everything is dust in the wind…”

5/24/10

“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound…”

Lost was the exploration of fantastic characters and plot. Halfway throught the pilot episode I was captivated by the correspondence of the questions “wherefore the polar bear?” and “whence the gun?”, and the pacing of the reveal of answers with the posing of new questions was remarkable, given the medium.

The weakest moments were explorations of plotless aspects of characters, or of characterless moments of plots. And this narrative flaw unfortunately was highlighted in the final season’s gimmick. Perhaps being too ambitious, or perhaps the original concept being unworkable led to massive late rewriting, but for whatever reason, the character/plot narratives got increasingly divorced, with neither half satisfying. And there are always quibbles of some unresolved mystery.

It is unfortunate for what did so incredibly well to have periods of detriment, especially in its final year, but it nevertheless ends with satisfying nostalgia. The 6 years between Fall 2004 until now have been an adventure; it’s time to leave the island.

“…Once was lost, but now I’m found / I was blind, but now I see…”

5/23/10

Read “Lost Books of the Odyssey” a narrative deconstruction of the Odyssey, Odysseus, Troy, and Homer. Each of the microshort stories pulls out a strand of epic, with which to weave a clever alternative within the most basic framework of the classics. The subtleties of this cleverness, required of any proper retelling of the tales of Odysseus and of Homer, tingle the spine with appreciation: even without the dactylic meter, this wonder is what the Muse infused into the Odyssey.

5/22/10

Uploading photos is a sure sign of procrastinating packing.

5/21/10

Everything must go.

5/19/10

“The time has come to say fair's fair / To pay the rent now, to pay our share…”

A piece into place: even with so much of an unknown journey to be embarked upon, one destination is known.

A place, and peace: one fewer reason to be sleepless.


“…How can we dance when our earth is turning / How do we sleep while our beds are burning…”

5/18/10

“Solicitiing and gambling are prohibited on CTA vehicles.”

Sending out sublet inquiries, and calculating odds for responses.

5/17/10

“Hot summer streets and the pavements are burning / I sit around / Trying…”

One tries to find what one doesn’t have, but one can’t know something until one has that experience; for experience is the greatest teacher, and the greatest ignorance is regarding oneself; and ignorance begets cruelty.

It’s trying, sometimes.

“…It's a cruel, cruel summer / Leaving…”

5/16/10

Daring to share, I was
Saddened because
My ears hear echoes of a buzz
You don’t, one which he does.

5/15/10

I don’t like writing. I like thinking, he thought and wrote.

5/14/10

Read “Overqualified” which is, appropriately enough, both more and less clever than I was hoping. It is half satire, half narrative of unique medium; unfortunately, the interplay between the halves des not extend past the initial amazement. Unhypocritically, I’ll take it.

5/13/10

A comic about how a fake wikipage about a word about the creation of fake words from improper usage satires the creation of wikipages from lack of notability. Then a real wikipage is created because it's notable, but only for having a fake wikipage in the comic satirizing non-notable pages. Then, the deletion of the real wikipage becomes notable because of the fact that it has been deleted, so the result is a wikipage that lacks encyclopedic content: a redirect which fails to explain the term, and a link to a discussion on the proper usage of a redirect!

Oh my God everyone what are you doing.

5/12/10

Semifortnightly.

“It’s been one week since you looked at me…”

5/11/10

Stretchy in the library with a mandolin.

All the classic warning signs: punching a street sign, massive wandering through NYC, asking me for advice.

5/10/10

Well it's just how I struggle with being seen, you know. How we feel and worry about others judging us, but people really don't. I don't know. It wrapped around on itself and got a little lost, so I can't much explain it.
Oh poor little idea. Ideas need shepherds. I mean, please tell me you can see the little idea shepherd tending to its flock?
They live in the pillow from my living room at Rosebury.


Dreams are meant to be silent, forgotten, or realized- not explained.

5/8/10

A decent setup and a Queensland Chief Justice away from making an original “Owed on a Grecian Earn” joke.

5/7/10

le sigh.
sighicus.


Chaos is the craziness between one breath and the next.

Doesn’t work in Italian, though: sighco.

5/6/10

“You’ll probably move right through / Me on my way…”

A dark lit place: the empty shadows of spines and faces, down the silent entomed aisles. The shroud of a false form is removed, and pinned to an empty wall. Memories are cleared out, what’s forgotten swept away, and the rest is peace. For Orpheus knew it a mistake to look back, but at least then he will have seen what will be lost as he exits the underworld. And then it’s over.

“…I’m not paralyzed…”

5/5/10

I just worked here.

5/4/10

All natural cola is a cross between flat Coke and flavored carbonated water, with the best qualities of each.

5/3/10

I can't remember the last time I was so enrapt by a book that I couldn't wait for my legs to stop moving before reading, until I’m interrupted by P[]'s voice on my walk home, asking if it's Latin; I instinctively apologize that it isn't (even though he's clearly kidding with that K[]-tone where you have to force your mind to accept the possibility that he's not serious) and show him the cover, and he nods and says that I'll like his poems.

The monster loves his labyrinth.

I'm afraid to quote, because I have to pick one, and then what if I pick one that you don't like, and you don't understand why I like it. (But, you do understand. Because you like things too.) The other option is to pick one for me instead of for you, but that's like asking, what's your favorite 1% of this painting- and could you rush your decision before seeing the entirety?

5/2/10

“I see no changes…”

A whirlwind afternoon, forgetting the morning.
New conversations in the final hours at the gates of the castle, recounting rediscovered explorations.
The sudden sodden rain, danced through a world short an umbrella.
Identity, so desperately trying to be reestablished, before the ultimatum given.
The introduction or closure good host Present so wants to give between guests Past and Future.

“…But things change, and that’s the way it is…”

Metamorphoses

“…Things’ll never be the same, that’s just the way it is…”