11/14/09

“And the anchorperson on TV goes…”

Wish war telegrams could positively report on progress but fear they all end STOP

“…La di da, di da, di da di da di da…”

11/12/09

You never read the e-mails I never sent.

11/11/09

“First you put 4 Roman numerals in a row, the next thing you know, there’s no dress code.”

Making it count.

11/10/09

*No* need for madlibs.

I'm still on poor nutella-covered Calypso in my mind. She's very confused in a disgrunted kind of way. Unnutella-covered Calypso on my futon is simply yawning fatly and unbaldly.

Blintz with nutella is, on a scale from pepperoni to pretzels, a 7.

I feel kind of cactus right now. :\ And I don't want to be cactus.
Is this like when Maebe got alligators in spelling? What is cactus?
Like, spiky and offputting, with a little bit of Dad.

11/9/09

Hey, what are you doing tnoight around 6 your time?
Opening my front door to find you perched at the doorstop? No wait…
Good answer, haha, but wrong.
…Getting Casa Dilla with you.

The shock of discovery from forgetting that someone is still around is as strong as the shock of discovery from realizing that actually they no longer are.

11/8/09

Sleep deprivation is a great narcotic. It puts you to sleep.

11/7/09

Trade Meet

(  )  Price Correct!
(  )  Needs Second Pass
(  )  Not Found

11/6/09

I am a person with an iPhone with an iPhone.

11/5/09

“Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated…”

The RAZR is of elegance. Between the basic blocky, pre-flip Nokias and the app-filled hybrid iPhones lived a slender, compact, complete device, culminating the gap between advanced and obsolete.

Elegance is such a
simple request.
Even simple can fail.

“…You fall and you crawl and you break…”

11/4/09

Frosted Cheerios come from rude Londoners.

11/3/09

“We introduce a basic model for zombie infection, determine equilibria and their stability, and illustrate the outcome with numerical solutions.”

There’s a reason why zombies need brains.

11/2/09

Don't painstakingly neatly write out the entire cast and script of a movie on the DVD beautifully until you've successfully burned it.
That resonates with the modern audience better than don't count your chickens before they hatch. My chickens don't hatch. They are grilled or breaded.
Yesterday I was hardboiling some eggs. And you know that noise of air squeaking by things?
I might know that noise, but we are not on a first name basis.
So like, they were boiling, but there maybe was like an infinitesimal crack in one, which did no damage, but the sound of the weensy amount of air escaping, it sounded chickenly. Which was sad sounding, but I'm pretty sure it was just air. Insofar as if a chick were inside, he wouldn't have just sat there silently during the fridge stage.
Oh, poor little confused refrigerator chick.

10/31/09

“I’ve had my fun, and now it’s time to…”

No rhyme.

“…We’d circle and we'd circle and we'd circle to stop and consider…”

No reason.

“…I've got my spine, I've got my orange…”

10/30/09

Too much light makes the baby go blind as a bat.

10/29/09

I’m using a person day.
[personal]
“No, please leave it at person day.”
[person]

I need to have personal days and brunch more often.

Today I didn't send you a link. It's pretty straightforward coolness. I figure you prefer clever sly coolness.
I had brunch today. That was straightforwardly cool. Actually, it was cleverly slyly cool also. It was 2 kinds of cool.
Sweet deal.

10/28/09

Gods eat ambrosia; the rest of us have brunch.
[Drop by my apartment 11:30am-1:30pm.]

"R[]'s arguments never have a hole in the middle of them" bagels.

"The philosophical question 'Which came first, the chicken or the egg' is so beneath R[]'s genius that any allusion to the question is an insult" omelets.

"To promote world peace, R[] respects all religions equally, including their dietary restrictions" bacon.

"R[] is not flaky” croissants.

"2% implies imperfection, and R[] is perfect in every way" milk.

"Out of solidarity with oppressed peoples everywhere, R[] will not tolerate the symbolic injustice of fruit squeezed against its will" orange juice.

10/27/09

The long and short of it.

10/26/09

Lobsters have teeth in their stomach.

“To a lobster, taste and digestion are the same process; savoring is the same as sustaining.”

10/25/09

When life hands you lemons, take 2 and stuff your pockets with Rice Krispy Treats and pretzel Goldfish.

10/24/09

“What happened to your arm?”
“I broke my collarbone.”
Have we learned nothing?
“I’m sorry, I was in a Mexican pinata fight.”


All that, and a bag of chips I left 3 weeks ago next to 2 bible mix CDs and the 23rd volume of the 1985 Encyclopedia Britannica.

“You know B[]? He stepped on my face.”
You get it.