Best live and with people.

Some days all one can do is laugh.
Some days all one should do is laugh.

M[] told me to tell you that you don’t need to worry about it.
“So you were able to reach someone?”
Oh, not at all. You just don’t need to worry about it.

Molecular Theorem
If there is an easy way and a hard way to do something, the easy way won’t work.

Molecular Corollary
The hard way’s not so bad.

Lions are cats.

“Can't you feel the poison rising out of the morning…”

I hate how on a beautiful day not only do I have work, but I don't even have the option anymore of doing it outside.
I also hate how the premidterm productivity I had been engaged in this weekend has been nullified.
I finally hate how the headache for the minor cold which I hadn’t been able to shake is now much worse.

“…Stay inside tonight…”

"It's European History, but with a thesaurus."

Travel the world and the 7th Sea.

“You can spend 5 points for Faith in God. But no one knows what it does.”

C > 1: What if there were an anthropomorphic cat?
C = 1: Now what if it were just a normal cat?
C < 1: Now what if the cat didn't exist?

“I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known…”
Lonely/Alone
“…My shallow heart’s the only thing…”
Trying not to be self-important.
“…Read between the lines…”
Symmetrically transcendental.
“…Where the city sleeps…”
Rest, lest be sick again.
“…Check my vital signs…”
Alone/Lonely
“…'Til then I walk alone…”

The ironic thing about “American Gladiators” is how scripted a show airing because of the Writers Strike is.

Somehow it has taken me almost 95% of my college life to order a pizza delivered to the library to be eaten with friends while doing a problem set. And doing it feels so right.

“C is for cookie…”

Caramel deLites? Sorry, American Samoas are good enough for me.

“…Who cares about the other things…”

You’re going to the Gonzales thing? Can you ask him a question for me:
So, let’s say you meet a cute girl one night at a bar, and you seem to hit it off, and she gives you her number. You call her back a few days later, but she says something evasive and makes an excuse to hang up. You decide to try again another night, but this time she gives an even lamer excuse. From then on, do you try to reach her one final time, or do you just not re-call?
If you do, I’ll forgive you for never talking to me again for suggesting this.

Going the distance. In NC for an improv festival until Sunday.

“That was a long way to go to set up a bad pun.”
Oh, yes. You might even say it was torturous.

I’ve already heard it; nothing I haven’t heard before.

Convocation Drinking Game
4 syllable word (x2 if >4)
Awkward pause after a joke
{"freshman", "sophomore", "junior", "senior"}
“passion”
“experience”
Bad metaphor (x2 if simile)

1) Find them.
2) Give them a hug.
3) Leave without asking them any questions.

“Typing is not exactly the most warm and comforting thing, no matter how nice the words are.”

The secret to printing non-academic material in a school computer lab is to add to the top corner one’s name, the date, and Writing XXX1, and then add an appropriate title.

The trick, however, is finding a printer actually available.

No No Shame; shame.

“If silence is that important, then a suppressed magnum would work.”

“It’s Thursday night, she should be out on the scene…”

The best way to spend Valentine’s Night is running my tongue up and down a most delicious leg…

“…It’s not the money, it’s the recipes…”

…of lamb; and I could do this all night long.

“…One of these nights you might find someone to love…”

“I am a writer, writer of fictions…”

Final declarations.

I've been burning bridge after bridge because I'm in flames and I keep running back over every single one I have.

“Are you okay?”
“Shh. I’m feeling.”

“There is no significant correlation between being in love and being in a relationship.”

…I’m sorry. You’re not the love of my life.

This is probably the silliest reason to want a gf.

Normality, unlike Sunkist orange soda and sleep, is so overrated.

When I have questions about seducing a professor, I'll raise my hand.

“So my mother said, “Is he cute?”, “What school does he go to?”, and- brace yourself- “What are his prospects?””
You know, I only honestly know the answer to 1 of those.
“Funny thing: I don’t know the answer to any of them.”