WWJD
INFJ

To WUPD, “very important” translates to “a loose bike lock”.

“Nobody is more important than this conversation. Nobody is definitely more important than the Orbit Gum girl, though.”
Ergo the Orbit Gum girl is a ham sandwich QED.
“(a+b^n)/n = x, therefore Nobody is more important than her.”

Nobody is featured in an important StudLife article! [p.10]

But if God doesn't exist, the above does not hold. So I have a decision to make: Him, Her, or Nobody?
“Her, obviously.”
Obviously.
“Obviously. Obviously.. Obviously... obviously?”
Careful there; you're straying into clearly territory.
“Obviously!”

Please tell everyone your name, where you’re from, your favorite color, and how you would contract AIDS.
---
Nobody needs a better introduction. I desperately need to update the Nobody facebook page ASAP. Please send me clever ideas for stuff I can put for personal info, courses, groups, etc.

“I wish to protest bonus 6; I liked “The Island”.”

"Let me get the tournament director. Oh wait. That's me."

Kine, being a plural sharing no letters with its singular form, *is* linguistically unusual. This British battleground *did* serve as the working title for Tom Clancy’s “The Sum of All Fears”. Jim Carrey’s character in the French Canadian version of “Batman Forever” *is* instead referred to as this, not The Riddler. However, it *is* also known for certain criminals who wielded a different kind of projectile weapon.

“I heard she was going to slap me.”
I heard something more... fatal.

“It's not supposed to be random; it’s supposed to be randomized.”
---
Nobody can be so trivial.

“I think I just messed up my interview.”
I can take your mind off of that, if you’d like.
“Sure."
Over winter break, I [...].
“Wow. <pause> Yeah, that’ll do it.”
---
Nobody saw that coming. I need material ASAP for the facebook profile: personal info, courses, groups, etc.- *anything*.

mhnin aeide, qea, Phlhiadew AcilhoV
oulomenhn, h muri’ AcaioiV alge’ eqhke,
pollaV d’ijqimouV yucaV Aidi proiayen
hrwwn, autouV de elwria teuce kunessin
oiwnoisi te daita- DioV d’eteleieto boulh-,
ex ou dh ta prwta diasththn erisante
AtreidhV te anax, andrwn kai dioV AcilleuV.
---
Nobody’s story is more epic. Sing me material for facebook: profile info, courses, groups, etc.

“This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny...”

Day of activity:
Bookstore 11-3 vs WUAT 4-6 vs SoW 10-11.

“And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be...”
---
Nobody wins. I need to update his facebook entry ASAP: send me any ideas for profile info, courses, groups, etc.

“I’m a recovering cynic.”
The first step is admitting you don’t have a problem.
---
Nobody admits a problem: his facebook profile needs to be updated ASAP. Send me any ideas for personal details, courses, groups, etc.

Somehow managed to *not* utilize every space in Umrath for socialization last year. The U0 bathroom antechamber? I am in awe; well done.
---
Nobody will live in Umrath forever. But his room on facebook needs to be cleaned up ASAP. Send me any ideas for personal details, courses, groups, etc.

Greek lamb soup makes a day.
---
Nobody needs to be spiced up. Send me any suggestions for any kind of material: profile info, courses, groups, etc.

There should be a more accurate height for me than 4 root 2 or g/pi + e.
There should be a more aesthetic height for me than the average of 4 root 2 and g/pi + e.

No problem with 3”/9” Subway sandwiches, though.

Let there be lights.

"I'm sorry, have I somehow impacted your IQ negatively?"

In retrospect there are always plenty of hints. No further questions, your honor.

"I'm sorry, was the sex too good?"

Insomnia Corollary
There exists a constant c = inf X, where X = {x: “If I can just fall asleep by time t I will still be able to get x hours of sleep.” is truthfully able to be said.}.

Insomnia Conjecture
c is independent of t.

Nothing like a good dormhop to kick off a semester.

One day in first grade I, having picked up the phrase but not understanding its meaning, repeated “darn it” repeatedly to my best friend. The maturity I felt ceased when she informed me she was offended.

This has and still consciously and unconsciously affected me. I reject vulgarity. For the euphemisms for religion, excretion, and reproduction now have only shock value; which, ipso facto of their use, they lose. Whatever power such utterances might once have had are forgotten in their ubiquity. They have become unconnected to their actual meaning: increasingly harmless interjections tossed without regard for context. To use a vulgarity is to eschew the delicious subtleties of cleverly crafted language, to choose to be defeated by mixed metaphor, to surrender to generic triteness. Not for me.

I want my first *fuck* to be memorable.

(I still consider “darn” harsher than “damn”.)

“For her self-esteem, every girl needs to know that, if she wanted to, she could get a guy like T[] H[].”
For his self-esteem, every guy needs to know that, if he wanted to, he could get a guy like T[] H[] jealous.

It wasn’t the best worst date I’ve been on, but at least it didn’t measure up to drive-through DelTaco. I do have my standards.

“I need to get a t-shirt that says "I’m not going to sleep with your boyfriend". And to get it 2 sizes too small.”

Returned to St. Louis, having learned that it is not anomalous in suffering from tea cookie deprivation; somehow these delicious yet simple treats have become endangered across the culinary world. I was only able to secure a lone tin of stale cookies over break, despite their being once plentiful in the Maryland wilds.

Even so, they were, and were attested to being, the best stale cookies you would ever eat.

“Proposition: If I could choose...”

Let swords remain in stones, and tones in words.

“By God, Excalibur, I shall be a King! This is the time of King Arthur, and we reach for the stars! This is the time of King Arthur, and violence is not strength and compassion is not weakness. We are civilized!
Resolved: We shall live through this together, Excalibur: They, you, and I! And God have mercy on us all.”