New year or near you.

Home, with only Van Ness Monster to listen to. Which is might not be as unpleasant as it sounds.

[Speaking of new names: Dental Sedimental?]

Home until Tuesday. But it’s not the same.

I fixed myself dinner because I didn't feeling like leaving the room. I had a piece of bread with Hershey kisses and Hershey kisses on the side. I felt really sick.

My apologize for being whiny. And not conjugating my verbs.

And she tore it apart. Which I can respect, because it's my first college paper, and I wrote it the night before, and it sucked.

I wish people knew me and that I am just unstable.

Let Satan have his day.

Sprinkles make the hot chocolate.

The name of an improv troupe should
1) Be easy to pronounce
2) Not sound like an a capella group

Suggestions are being solicited through Saturday.

ps It’s a Long-form!

“Actually, I just ate dinner- with someone you know.”
Animal, vegetable, or mineral?
“Animal.”
Are they bigger than a breadbox?
“Slightly.”
Are they sma- wait, is it Cat?
“No.”

Mission Accomplished.

Finally had the time to admire my orangy new iPod, which needs a name. Currently proprsed is Van Ness Monster. Taking alternate suggestions until I find the time to actually load music onto the thing.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Eliot 2 Girls Are Ugly

(Swiping an air hockey table is a 4-man job.)

Comparatives and superlatives:

Walk in, lie down.
Walk in, lie down, emergency room.
Walk in, lie down, Emergency Support Team.

Lost and La, if not other things which should be celebrated but won't be on account of it being Wednesday. <insert hurricane joke here>

My toes hate Mondays.

So today the girl behind me in linguistics needed a stapler. Which I so carry with me. Really. I do.

First of all, next time you have a heart attack, um, tell me about it? And second, get rid of that pig.

Of all the things not to do...
...Drugs are one of them?
I was going to say not be yourself.

Why do you have 2 tissue boxes?
That’s my vice tissue box. If my first one dies, this one takes over.

Unfortunately didn’t have a chance to follow up last year’s reputation setting limericks, but did manage the following overlooked entry for [blonde]:

A bimbo bearing a hot bod;
Her insights, at best, are quite odd.
Portrayed as a ditz
In humor, but its
Just a stereotype. Omigod.

The reason that it is impossible to make a good parody of “American Pie” is because it mimetically imitates thricely.

Though it might be possible to make a parody of American Pie about American Pie parodies. I am hypothesizing that while it may not be able to be good, it has the potential to not be bad.

Audiences do not read for Audiences alone, but for Men.

Wednesday is my Katrina day. Disastrous, oversaturated, and dominated by awesome forces of destruction and mismanagement.

(I figure Katrina jokes should be tasteful any day now, and want to get a jump on it.)

Call for help.

But not to Cingular, who during a roadtrip to Indianapolis reset my service without prompt or notification, and still do not feel like restoring my now-borderline coverage to beyond 1 bar at best.

*4* showers in one day? Never has being so clean felt so dirty.

(And 4 loads of laundry accounted for/corrected, a most impressive considering there being only 3 laundry machines.)

"President Bush probably never read Livy or Virgil."