So today the girl behind me in linguistics needed a stapler. Which I so carry with me. Really. I do.

First of all, next time you have a heart attack, um, tell me about it? And second, get rid of that pig.

Of all the things not to do...
...Drugs are one of them?
I was going to say not be yourself.

Why do you have 2 tissue boxes?
That’s my vice tissue box. If my first one dies, this one takes over.

Unfortunately didn’t have a chance to follow up last year’s reputation setting limericks, but did manage the following overlooked entry for [blonde]:

A bimbo bearing a hot bod;
Her insights, at best, are quite odd.
Portrayed as a ditz
In humor, but its
Just a stereotype. Omigod.

The reason that it is impossible to make a good parody of “American Pie” is because it mimetically imitates thricely.

Though it might be possible to make a parody of American Pie about American Pie parodies. I am hypothesizing that while it may not be able to be good, it has the potential to not be bad.

Audiences do not read for Audiences alone, but for Men.

Wednesday is my Katrina day. Disastrous, oversaturated, and dominated by awesome forces of destruction and mismanagement.

(I figure Katrina jokes should be tasteful any day now, and want to get a jump on it.)

Call for help.

But not to Cingular, who during a roadtrip to Indianapolis reset my service without prompt or notification, and still do not feel like restoring my now-borderline coverage to beyond 1 bar at best.

*4* showers in one day? Never has being so clean felt so dirty.

(And 4 loads of laundry accounted for/corrected, a most impressive considering there being only 3 laundry machines.)

"President Bush probably never read Livy or Virgil."

        
           

I wish I drew a cypress well.

“...male si mandata loqueris aut dormitabo aut ridebo.”

Schedule: Active/fair.

Underage drinking is not a joke.

Just kidding.

c i p h e r s
o & 1 9 2 0 1
d 2 1 5 2 1 9
e 1 9 4 1 1 3
s 1 3 9 2 0 !

“References
[1] Some reference to something, probably an Austin paper.
[2] That one with the cave.
[3] Parr’s proof of concept thingie
[4] Their paper?
[5] ditto”

“This proposal proposes...”

All I know is that I know nothing.

Through no fault of my own I lost Mini 199, a time travel variant. I, as mafia, had wondered before the game whether it made any sense to kill myself night 1, so that I’d be resurrected and thought innocent. But doing the math and considering a SK probably existed, I decided it would most likely fail. Ironically, a serial killer hit me Night 1, and neither they nor my partner left solitary could defeat the town. This was my first time being targeted Night 1; I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or flattered.

wash. u. pride.


it’s in st. louis dammit.

In retrospect, I should have wagered one of 2 packages, one of which contained my new iPod, for 2 bottles of limeade in RPS.

Schrödinger’s cat is <blink>not</blink> alive.

Cat, too stubborn for her own good, refuses to use AIM. This, despite the fact that some of us would like to know if she's in without having to trek over to her room. Really. How hard is it to put up away messages? She doesn't even need to actually chat with anyone. Just a simple "I am currently away from my computer". How hard is that? Seriously.

She'll "think about it" if 500 people petition her. I figure she'll give in long before that. Either way, I give it a month at most.

Cat Karayan Will Use aim If 500 People Join This Group

[Okay fine facebook wins blech.]

Thai restaurants are required to have a neon outline of Thailand in a window.

Nobody doesn’t live here anymore.