There has to be a better place for the insert key than between the backspace and the delete keys.

If you’re going to wet the soap and rumple the towels, you may as well get your hands dirty.

“I won’t have to say a word / I’ll stop thinking…”

May have accidently finished the thing I was writing to keep sane. Not to imply that I’m sane.

“…I’m finished with lies, lies…”

“Life generally was quite good…”

Rome didn’t fall in a day.

“…Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing…”

If someone says that their favorite of the 7 dwarves was someone besides Grumpy or Sleepy, they’re lying.

Day 470
Human finds dead laptop
Human finds dead hamster
Human gets punched in the face by a freezer.

Stiff upper lip.

Current standings
1) Cat
2) Human

Realizations, like scissors, come in pairs.

You're a good thing, is what I'm trying to say. No, not trying. I'm saying it. See? Or do I need to draw a speech bubble around it? I think I might.

     (------------)
  (   You're a    )
(   good thing.  )
 (------------ |  /
                   |/

“As I walked into the charity store…”

Proper P[] birthday-party attire is P[]-birthday party attire.

“…It was the shirt you were wearing…”

It’s one of those only-once-a-year occurrences that there’s really no reason I couldn’t do more often, like playing frisbee, or realizing I really need to back up everything on my computer very very soon quickly before it explodes ack hold together argh this might work blech

Thrown for a loop.

Possible explanations for a dog-walker going up and down the same short stretch of street over and over during a relatively brief span of time:
1) Repeatedly forgetting items necessary for dog walking.
2) Heroically attempting to have a found lost puppy sniff out its apartment.
3) Methodically testing the point at which bystanders will methodically test a pedestrian’s balance.

“I've been for a walk on a winter's day…”

School is supposed to be a place of learning; instead, the primary focus becomes about structured work. Ideas are quantified as credits and page lengths, to occur on a rigid schedule of hours, days, and semesters. Knowledge is secondary to demonstrable accomplishment.

“…Stopped into a church I passed along the way…”

A teacher is who is there for you; for it is your experience.

“…The preacher likes the cold / He knows I'm going to stay…”

Puff on, bubble-blowing missionaries: your attending flock awaits.

“…All the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey…”

To have a lifelong aspiration of writing the next Great American Novel’s title.

If a rejection letter feels too formal, a company always has the alternative of instead hiring a friend’s sister, for a more personalized notification that they’re not interested in hiring you for the position at this time.

HMS Plankton

“…And we'll all float on okay…”

I just flew into town and boy did I not steal this joke from someone who stole this joke from an ostrich.

“I count to three and grin / You smile and let me in…”

benchmark

“…We're talented and bright / We're lonely and uptight / We've found some lovely ways to disappoint…”

+ watershed

“…But the airport's always almost empty this time of the year / So let's go play on a baggage carousel…”

= watermark

“…Set our watches forward like we're just arriving here / From a past we left in a place we knew too well…”

Strunk & White: BFsF.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World glimpses the clung past, be it the already-decade-removed setting, the repeatedly-not-over-exes plot, or the quest-for-maturity theme. The jokes are frequent, but nevertheless not the less funny for it, stopping just short of overdone, with humor that is both common and yet almost unerringly clever. There is no way to not feel old while watching it, in both senses: the dread of realization and the bliss of nostalgia.

Sine labore.
(Nihil.)

It’s not summer without a lasagna.