Spring Break was oodles of fun, yet somehow I have a backlog of work from before and during which I never really got around to. Was either too afk or else too at the mercy of the cable people, so I have a comparable backlog of Away Messages.

Game 2 of online mafia (Newbie 85) ended disastrously. As the cop, I (1) cast the deciding vote to lynch the doctor day 1, (2) had my investigative target killed by the mafia night 1, and (3) wound up getting lynched day 2 to end the game. Moreover, at the end I suspected 2 innocents, each of who suspected each other as well as me, leaving the mafia freest from suspicion. At least I got a cookie for participation.

Missouri to California to Pennsylvania to Maryland to Missouri. With a couple stops in Arizona somewhere in the middle. For $216.60.

I need a vacation after this week. And after venturing into Koenig. (Or maybe Liggett. Whichever isn’t the one I’m now definitely not going to go into.)

"I don't want to know about the things I don't know about."
I know whether this is or isn't a quote of Rumsfeld's.

Will autograph today’s Studlife [p.7] for candy. (Ironically, it was originally intended for WUnderground.)

So, you know how $1,638 worth of stuff is missing from Millbrook Market? Well, it was me. Yeah. Sorry about that...

Danny is a freshman in Arts & Sciences and has a huge crush on the Orbit Gum girl. He can be reached via e-mail at dbravman@wustl[].

What are the happiest words to hear on a Monday?
“EComp’s canceled.”
What are the next happiest word to hear on a Monday?
“Analysis paper delayed until after Spring Break.”

If I turn up dead, half the freshman class will have had a motive to kill me. Perhaps I’ve been studying how to irritate people too well.

Since it’s Monday, let me collect some tasteless quotes that I’d been saving.

“What’s the attraction for girls kissing?”
See, my theory is that guys like slutty girls. But we’re also possessive, so we don't like seeing girls act slutty with other guys. But there’s no problem if the girl’s with another girl.
“Then how come I don’t like guys kissing?”
Well, it must be because you're not possessive.
No. Hm.
Nevermind then.

"What device, invented in 1869, was originally used to treat hysteria?"
I didn't know you could do that with a sheep!

“I don’t date whores.”
You’d make a very bad guy.

Dear Mr. or Ms. 382388,
I was just wondering whether you had any plans for who you’d be rooming with next year. Oh you do? NOT ANYMORE!

3228/4357, which I think good considering the lowest freshman lottery number is ~2800. I’ve begun evaluating upperclassmen dorms, with my, having become too exasperated with the washing, drying, and change machines, ironically going to Mudd to get clean clothes.

“try {
            quiz();
} catch(DontKnowWhatRaceConditionIsException dkwrcie) {
            wait(12:52);
            instructor.announce(definition);
            problem2.doExampleFor5pts;
}”

Forget about perfect attendance. Did anyone skip only 1 class this week?

Waif, free from wavy hair
And fragile flair,
Let those outgrown lie prone: don’t bear
Escaped Medusan lair.

So, you know how $1,638 worth of stuff is missing from Millbrook Market? That was me. Yeah. Sorry about that.

[IM me to read the rest of “Confessions of a Candy Thief”, which due to some unfortunate logistics will not be published in the upcoming edition of WUnderground.]

Splintered by wintered sting,
Speechless dreams fling
Back harpy’s sharp keen: Let nothing
Befall the future spring.

While reading “Brown” I notice two girls on my left and two guys to my right.

As one guy is ready to concede that differences in the sexes exist, they postulate hypothetical explanations before confirming beer pong plans. One girl doesn’t get some of the stereotypes, scornfully dissecting picked out phrases for her preoccupied friend.

There is silence.

One guy has discovered the context for the quotes, and the other reasons he is pro-antidiscrimination. One girl observes that while it’s only a theory, it is on the Times front page, which other girl defends; both want to see the primary source, but instead talk about a test.

Both pairs are discussing the same article and only I realize it. It was too surreal to ruin by revealing.

Yesterday was a good Friday, for EComp was canceled.
Speaking of Good Friday, I’m giving up Christ for Lent.

"Now is the winter of our discontent...."/You're probably looking for the other side of this card. It's not too late to flip over!/Modified Avalanche: 1) Rock 2) Rock 3) Paper 4) Rock (if necessary)/James Abram Garfield was the 20th US President./o matrix/(T): Add (W) to your mana pool./For more information, AIM: EmpTyger and ask for a cantaloupe./+> N/My other cheat card is deliberately left blank./Below is an inside joke from Math 201 involving striped shirts./If this were for a Baernstein exam, it wouldn't be the file card which would be lined.../But does your mouth feel clean? FABULOUS!/3x5 card = 15 card/If LOST, return to ABC Wednesdays, 8/7 central./The word cantaloupe appears on this card for no apparent reason./Not valid in Quebec or Lichtenstein. See store for details. Void where prohibited. No purchase necessary.

There seem to be only 2 kinds of dryers here: ones that don’t work, and ones that don’t dry.

Having taken cold medicine and naps, I’m feeling better. Yay zeugma.

“Valentine’s Day sucks if you’re single.”
“It also sucks if you’re not.”

Anyone up for a little Lupercalia instead?

Vacuum (second eulogy)

Oft tell the timeless toils of souls now soiled
In times of grief that lie nigh lonely night,
When helpless spotted doth spot new hope spoiled:
Hero lain uncovered ‘mid uncleared blight.
Heartlessly slain upon a heartless day
Ere night ere rise of love’s impassion’d dawn
As heartless lie aggrieved in thoughtless way,
Left silent, warcry turned to fun’ral song.
On evil surface, walked upon unpaved,
Give too much dirt to too much death in dearth.
The worth of wholesome living left unsaved:
Eternal life etern’ly ruin’d by birth.
Never old in dying rust.
Ashes, ashes, dust, dust.

Add this sentence to your profile if you add stuff to your profile because someone else’s profile tells you to do so.

Add this sentence to your profile if you don’t add stuff to your profile because someone else’s profile tells you to do so.