Love, easily distracted by novel feats of anti-physics.
(Like everything else.)

Registering a what-do-you-mean-you-don't-want-a-side-salad-or-has-no-one-informed-you-that-the-side-salad-is-free-with-purchase look of so-much-for-free-pizza-I-guess-we’re-not-going-to-Vertigo.

“Oh, where is the song / That goes like this...”
Some of the best scenes from the film are disappointingly absent {witch, bridge of death}, although new material does compensate. The classic quotes have slight difference from their usual intonation, though Plenty of musical allusions extend the parody into more than a mere genre adaptation, making Spamalot an amusing play in its own right.

And this was nowhere near the worst worst seat I’ve had.
“...That's awfully high for me...”

Not right now, in general.

Not fun.

"I'd probably be Hestia. Just sit by the fire."
Well, you would have had a fun cult in Roman times.
"What did they do?”
Not have sex. Maybe it wasn't that fun a cult.

I will do something for you I’ve never done for anyone else.

Half an idea.

“Amy doesn’t date boys with [...].”
I’ll see what I can do.

It’s strange. I’m kind of angrybitter. But not really angry. Actually, I’m kind of cheerful. Except I hate stupid morons and want to kill them. But I’m not moody or upset. Wow. I’ve become *you*.

Drop everything.

I bluetape rooms. It’s therapeutic.

“This is a simulation...”

Why even try.

“(4 Points) What kind of sneakers do I wear:”
Those blue things with holes in them that I don’t know the name of and I know those aren’t technically your sneakers but they are footwear and I need to put something down since I don’t think before I’d finish this you’re going to be going to the bathroom so that I could sneak a peak into your closet unobserved and L[] would see me anyway.

Time to pick something.

““Pride and Prejudice” is something you see either with your girlfriends or your boyfriend.”

"Who the hell is going to dress up for November 11?"
Veterans?

Sleepover. Not that much sleep will be gotten. Not that that’s atypical.

Seem slightly off.

“Over the past decade, the St. Louis archdiocese paid over $5.8 million to abuse victims.”
“No trespassing / violaters will / be prosecuted.”
“Listen to me bitch.”

The perfect date activity is baking cupcakes.
It’s food.
It’s a gift.
It's personal.
It's unique.
It’s a cooperative task.
It’s a simple everyday activity.
It provides 18-25 minutes of empty time to kill while the cupcakes are in the oven...

“They’re not quite presidential, / They’re kind of influential...”

No poll working at all this midterm, due to a couple more mixups. Will just have to be a voter. Some people have issues.

There are 2 schools of space travel in science fiction: CGI and Muppet. This schism explains the difference between Star Wars 1-3 and 4-6.

Replaced into and lost Clue mafia (Mini 291), as Sergeant Grey, mafia. And was an admitted sore loser, out of bitterness for the mechanics. The mafia had no control over their nightkill (the town could kill more reliably!), being forced to rely on luck. The unusual mechanics only affected mafia strategy, so the mafia has no way of knowing that what should be an optimal strategy would fail. Mafia were placed in a position where they must commit to one of 2 diametrically opposed plans- but the more they learn about the setup, the more they are led to choose suboptimally! The better the mafia tries to play, the worse it is for them.

Like the board game, this was a town’s game, designed to be played by the town, and I feel I wasted a lot of time trying to win it when that wasn’t possible.

There is a difference between satire and parody, often lost because most of the most effective former are examples of the latter. Borat, however, is pure satire, almost more painful than funny.

Cinemis Symbolis.
Amy, my peer in love,
Clandestine paramour,
Rose-cheeked debut,

So irresistible,
Wickedly kissable.
(Overanalysis?
They had no clue.)

I am the best liar you will ever know.

A stupid question is one that can be answered by typing it into Google.

“And if I had an aeroplane...”

Highs and lows: How can a day that started off flying so high come crashing down so far so swiftly?

Take a breath and step back a year: same time, same place, same theme. Smile: the mania passes and it’s just another day.

“...‘Cause it takes me so long / Just to figure out what I'm gonna wear...”

“It's a crazy, crazy night...”

Let’s talk about what happened.

“Can I save the extra hour, and redeem it whenever I want?”
“It would awesome if you could also do that also when you lose an hour.”
On the day in question, where were you between 10:00 and 11:00?
“Nether hour, your honor. Never happened.”

Let’s not overanalyze.

“...It's a no-no / And you like it...”

Kinetic energy. I don’t really understand it.
But that’s not awful.

Series converge.

“Can’t we just use that there are 180 degrees in a triangle?”
“We haven’t proven that. Although today we will prove that there are less than 270 degrees in a triangle. It’s an easy proof.”

"There is no such thing as an easy proof."
Prove it.

Mass : Weight :: Uncooked spaghetti : Cooked spaghetti

If eating living things is bad, do not stop at vegetarianism; eschew eating plant products as well as animal ones. Thus the cheese-in-a-can diet.

Tonight.
Ursa’s.
9pm.
Free.

Just a suggestion.
Make it up as we go along.

The Beast with 2 Backs.

Go.

“Don’t judge me...”

Chinese fire drill? Check.
Get bounced at McDonalds? Check.
Stand up against homophobia? Check.
Steal from a hobo? Check.
Infect a deer?

“...and all that jazz...”

Third time's the charm. A Fall Break road trip bar none.

The 2 causes of death are hypochondria and mortality.

Will stalk for lamb.

Well done, God; that was a shutout. Seriously, did *anyone* have a good day yesterday?

Girlfrienda girlfrienda!
My love, Amy Troeger:
We hid ill, or distant, or
With ‘motions new.

First dates thus shall mean that
Now, just as then, we see
Mensiversarily
One wanting Two.

Still a little on the sick/dead/can’t-be/clever-right-now of things. Here we go anyway.

“...Got myself together, now I'm ready...”

It takes at most 5 seconds for a hobo to become a cannibal.

“Malthus discussed three steps of human agricultural society. Explain.”?
You totally should have answered “Doric, Ionic, and Corinthian.”.

It’s probably not mono and probably not appendicitis.

[It's a cute affection.]

One night of flight’s eclipse
Of parted lips
And your quirks, which perk me up, rips
No space between . . . [ellipse]

I need to be less allergic to people, events, and times of year.

"Name at least one thing you'd like to see ΗΣΦ do this year (activities, goals, community service, etc)."
Destroy Carthage.

When I panic, I become grammatically imperfect.

I wish I knew better than to draw a cypress well.

It’s still all about the θwaves. Always and forever.

I clean when I have insomnia. The converse is not necessarily true.

Putting the drama into dramatic irony.

<edit> <edit>

“All I ever wanted / All I ever needed / Is...”

Pathos or logos? It doesn't make sense- and I know it doesn't make sense- and yet I still want it. Why is there hopeless in hopeless romantic; crazy in crazy in love? INFJ, or ISTP? Does “it’s complicated” supercede any other potential declaration of relationship? Is it better to speak and apologize, if only for paradigmatically shifting? Can it ever be the same? Can one be tired and cannot sleep? Does one not want to be left, or not expect to be returned to? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, will it ever fly away?

Here ends stoicism. Ask instead about free will/fate, for it won’t matter.

“...Feelings are intense. Words are trivial...”

“Ma-ia-hii...”

If you hear it often enough, it must be true

“Oh, northern Indiana. I don’t do that. I only do <gestures> southern and <gestures> horizontal.”

Exceptional.

Correlation implies casualty. This test was so stupid I could kill someone.

The questions were like, “Who was this guy’s cousin.”
Oh, man, that sucks. Just guess Galton or Darwin.
<stares>
Oh. That was what it was asking, wasn’t it?
Well, I’m not getting that one right.

“Chicken Soup for the College Soul” should instead be “Ramen…”, and “…for the Collegiate Soul”.

"""Chicken Soup for the College Soul" should instead be "Ramen…", and "…for the Collegiate Soul"." should instead be ""Chicken Soup for the College Soul" should instead be "Ramen…", or "…for the Collegiate Soul".""

Deriving normal from mean deviations.

Xoxo kai Ex-ex-aye.
Dearest Cat Karayan:
I’m letting you know that
Whatever we do,

I feel I shall have to
Be ever so slightly
Unrequitisticly
In love with you.

Weekend weakened: Dearly
I aimed to be
Undaunted yet wanted to see
You, lying beside me.

Withdrew from Princess Bride Mafia (Mini 303) to take over moderating when the actual one disappeared, almost cancelling the game. As the protown vanilla Ancient Booer, I continued an annual precedent, by claiming to be Count Rugen, forgetting that one of the players was the moderator of the game I had been playing the previous April Fool’s Day. While the joke didn’t lead to my lynch, it wasn’t completely successful either. I felt strongly about someone who was later revealed to be the godfather, but the town instead lynched the SK. Thus that night, I was doublekilled by both the mafia and the vigilante.

Lacking full information as mod, I managed to adjudicate well enough- except for the overwhelmingly awful error of killing the wrong player. It thankfully did not affect the outcome: mafia win.

“Two more days before the plane arrives...”

Out of town for the weekend. L’shana tova.

“I suppose now would be a bad time to tell you that I have a lj.”
I suppose now would be a bad time to tell you that I've known since Day 2 of it. Do not underestimate my network of spies and assassins, my friend.

 __________
/    \     ¦
| o  ¦- - -¦
\___/¦     ¦
     ¦  θ  ¦
     ¦     ¦
     ¦- - -¦
     ¦     ¦
     ¦  θ  ¦
     ¦     ¦
     ¦- - -¦
     ¦     ¦
     ¦  θ  ¦
     ¦     ¦
     ¦- - -¦

On average, there is 1 pornographic link among the top 10 google hits.

“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”

“It’s Talk Like A Pirate Day.”
Aye.

The enemy of my enemy is a bear.

0-Sick

“Lying about a lie amounts to telling the truth, even if it’s against your moral code.”

Ugh. I hate beer.
Did you know that they are serving free beer in the village?

“It is a sad commentary on the rise of logic that it leads to the decay of the art of lying.”

Lie with me tonight.

“I’m speaking faster today. I must be using fewer words.”
It must be because you’re speaking to fewer people.

“Sam devoured the apple in 10 minutes.”
I really want that to be some kind of future tense.

I have the reading comprehension of cantaloupe. Honeydew on a bad day.

I like trees.

“Written language glottographic.”

Not even close to the best syntax.

I get paid for this?

“Science rules...”

“What is love...”
Love is dead.

One September I went to a party and heard music echoing in my ears.
I used to feel excitement.
I used to have faith.
I used to stare at the ceiling and wonder what might fall.
I wanted to feel different, and sound different, and seem different.
I wanted to understand what everyone else was thinking.
I wanted to be told when to arrive and when to leave.
I wanted to celebrate a friend.
2 weeks ago love died, and I hear it only now...

Symposium.

...I once went to a party. I once believed in love.

Long live love.
“...no more...”

        
           

The idea actual originally being the daily Away Messages was that an average of one interesting thing/day would happen with respect to me.

Slightly better even if not significantly, my cell phone may be working.

Wow. It's clearly some language, just not English.

“Fighting is done in the ring and wars are waged on the board...”

3 Rules of Chess Strategy
1) Develop your pieces.
2) Control the center.
3) Don’t make stupid mistakes.

“...mens sana in corpore sano...”

The indicative is easier than the subjunctive, and so let it thus be.

Which of the following take 10-15 minutes?

a) Doing the first Logic problem set.
b) Fulfilling 2 activities fair commitments.
c) Reexamining one’s amorality.
d) Discussing improv auditions.
e) Walking to Lopata from civilization.
f) Finishing a box of stale Triscuits.
g) Cooking pasta.
h) Waiting for a pet fish to stop listing to one side and just go belly-up already.

Don’t think I’m amoral, though I might be wrong.

Undergarment shopping arises much more often in LinDanny bonding than it ought.

"I'm taking a sweet-loving belle
To a candy boutique I know well.
My hope is my charm'll
Be heightened by caramel
Or, if she prefers, caramel."

Whatever, you say.

Shark vs. Crocodile: the Pirate vs. Ninja of the animal world.

BTC
<><

Suite rules
1) Anything that all think is right is right.
1a) Anything that 3 think is right and that Cat thinks is wrong is right.
2) No unnecessary nudity.
3) No audible country music.
4) Decisions affecting the suite must be made by all.
4a) You can't sock the common room.
4b) Singles concern only the single provided it only concerns the single.
5) Guests are the responsibility of their host.
6) Open door policy.
7) Flush.
8) Don't pee or worse in the shower.
9) My sister is off-limits.
10) If hasn't moved in 24 hours, it's a mess. Less if food is involved.
11) Suite bonding to occur at least once/2 weeks.
12) There will be common decoration.
13) When ordering food or playing poker, ask if feasible.
14) Stresses overwhelming one require all to relax.

No result for April Fool’s Mafia (Mini 304), which was abandoned by mod. I was reluctant to have the game continue without being run with knowledge of the full setup, since the nature of the game was deceitful. Even so, I would have made the correct lynch, having deduced correctly.

Will autograph today’s Studlife [p.7] for delivery of the right words.

This was supposed to be an article giving advice to incoming freshmen on their first day of class. But…

Danny is a junior in Arts & Sciences. He can be reached via e-mail at dbravman@wustl[]. Vanessa is graduate of Middlebury College, Class of ‘94. She can be reached at…?

Already hit a stack of library books and pulled an all-nighter, despite school not starting until tomorrow.

“Oh yeah? Well, how many births have *you* witnessed?”
“Er, none.”
Well, one.

And so it begins again.

(Mostly: need to start over with cellphone providers. Until I find an alternative to Cingular, good luck reaching me. Leave messages, try the suite phone, AIM, e-mail, etc.)

Wow, I haven’t seen you in awhile. I mean, in person. Like, it looks good!
The shirt?

If I told anyone I would have been doing improv tonight, disregard. I was lying. Sorry about that. Jetlag.

‘They have 15 pairs of legs.’ Who counted?
“...there are 6 legs on United...”

[I may have lied about this. Sorry about that.]

“And I am a snake head eating (snake head)...”

Making an Away Message about feeding onto facebook notes a blog of an archive of my Away Messages. Comments disabled because the resonance would be silly (if you want to tell me something, just use AIM in the first place). And I’m far too lazy and cryptic to tag shoutouts.

Going round again.

“...(snake head) The head on the opposite side...”

I seriously have some bad airport karma I need to work off.

There is no food which does not taste good fried in oil.

(This is probably not true, but a counterexample is so difficult to find that it might as well be.)

[Or would be, were fried watermelon apparently not common knowledge.]

“You wanna come get me? I'm not dressed.”

“I seem to be allergic to something you have on.”

If I eliminated from my potential dating pool all the females who B[]’s had a bad experience with...

“I had to sit B[] down and tell him to date me.”
I had to sit B[] down and tell him to date you.

“Who’s single and male who I’m friends with... Dammit. R[].”

“Have you always been that tall, Cl[]?”
Have you always been that single, Ca[]?

“I should just date J[].”
Didn’t you just try to? And didn’t it just not work?

“He doesn’t have a tragic flaw, except his choice in females.”
That’s too similar to mine: lack of choice in females.

“I think if we were to kiss that would be the line. And actually kiss, not that one time we were drunk.”

“Can I take your picture because you’re hot? Not slutty hot; Rachael Ray hot.”

She’s too hot for him.
“Yes, but he’s rich enough for her.”

Could you sell your soul for the salvation of all *mankind*?

If you're reading this and back in STL, stop by 6617 Wash Ave. Apt 2N around 8pm tonight. There will be a final party, but this time there will be Just Desserts.

Meat and Greet Ultima. Here ends the summer.

Could you sell your soul for the salvation of *all* mankind?

“I need an everyday location...”
“Purgatory.”

Episcopalian : Purgatory :: Catholicism : Hell

““...Fama di loro il mondo esser non lassa / misericordia e giustizia li sdegna: / non ragioniam di lor, ma guarda e passa.”.”

Could you sell your soul for the *salvation* of all mankind?

"Oh, I'm ready for it / Come on, bring it..."

Will have seen Snakes on a Plane, which clearly will have been awesome. Let me know if also will be at a midnight showing tonight (at 10pm?)

Could you sell your *soul* for the salvation of all mankind?

Officially hit the yes-the-start-of-school-would-be-nice-but-I-think-I'd-prefer-an-extra-week-or-2-of summer-at-this-point point.

I have this New Yorker cartoonesque image of a man going to a demonic pawnshop with a "CLOSED" sign on the door.

Could you *sell* your soul for the salvation of all mankind?

“I need something you hate that no one else does...”
Hyphens.
Well, actually, it’s dashes which I hate- that is, the doublehyphen, the emdash. But what I hate about hyphens is that there’s a distinction between them and dashes. Let there be only one typographical mark- the endash. Call it a dash, make it synonymous with a hyphen, and let there be no further punctuative deliberation. There needn’t be a difference.

Could *you* sell your soul for the salvation of all mankind?

*Could* you sell your soul for the salvation of all mankind?
Assume that there is at least one person you would sacrifice yourself for; as they are in the subset of all mankind, you might as well save a few others for your trouble, as it were. But wouldn’t they for you, being someone who’d them? Either by agreeing to the same sacrifice or ironically to spare you from such a decision, the devil would O. Henrily have you 2 sacrificing yourselves mutually, saving the complement you didn’t care enough about in order to inadvertently damn each other. Extrapolated to all of mankind: the part that would be worth salvaging would agree, so that all of mankind would sell their souls to the devil, and what remained could not be called humane. That’s the devil's way: sell your soul to save humanity, and discover that by doing so, it is lost. Religion and logic in agreement; selflessness gets martyred.

“order more
aisle free
trudge stuff
my feet ache another catalog
did I miss the shuttle ? are
is it time for dinner coffee
meet you at the hotel lunch
what’s show special let’s walk
new product booth break fast
I’m the buyer line drink ing
bus have look go bar at an
schwag bag for fun s ed we
where am badge to our room
yak with a rep get take bath”

Drawn back to free stuff. Poetic.

“Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past...”

Nobody dies wishing that he spent more time on the computer.

"Your account has been disabled by an administrator. Please contact info@facebook.com for more information."

Easier to express myself with 1000 words than a picture.

“...with the eye of the tiger...”

I do not consider lying to be immoral. It might arguably be unethical, but I genuinely feel no guilt over doing it. Honestly, I think it makes the world a better place.

I am starting to realize tbat this opinion may be strange.

I generally don’t like chocolate cake, but do like pound cake. So clearly I need to try this chocolate pound cake, in the name of science.

“You need 4 people to have an orgy. 3 if one of them’s Sarah.”
Sarah is the exception to every rule.

I’m going to start going by “Cait”
Cait?
“Ugh no. What was I thinking?”
That lasted a whole 3 seconds.

Waking up causes grumpiness. Based on a sample size of 3. 2 of who are fictional.

“So, how single are you?”
On a scale from 1 to 2?

“If you’re 1 thing, you’re 0 things.”

Random cake is good + or 0 a constant.

“The best kind of free food is the kind someone else is paying for.”
Isn’t that the definition of free?
“I’m not going to lie. It kind of is.”
I’m not going to lie. That’s kind of quotable.

“Matt’s office looked like one giant cosmetic sale gone bad. “And what the hell’s JOE VIDEO?”

Annie’s chin came up. She crossed her arms stubbornly across her chest and said, “JOE VIDEO is the perfect man.”

Matt exploded. “Men aren’t perfect, boys and girls. And guess what? We don’t care. And do you know *why* we don’t care? Because a woman’s definition of the perfect man *today* always does a complete one-eighty when tomorrow rolls around.”

Annie tossed her head, distracting him for a moment when her long, silky hair swished back over her shoulder. He hadn’t noticed, but her hair was down and loose today, instead of pulled back in a tomboy ponytail the way she usually wore it. It was also the first time he’d noticed that she wasn’t wearing slacks, but a short sundress that showed off her long, shapely legs to perfection.

Matt’s *yow-za* mojo kicked in…”

Talladega Nights is silly, but it metarecognizes itself as such. The film will take an absurd moment, neither the most nor the least absurd, and address the implausibility in such a way that the realism is kept constant. It also has the effect, like in “Cars”, of belonging to a red state subgenre

Taco Party: it’s like a Lasagna Party, but with tacos instead of lasagna. If you're reading this and in town, stop by (6617 Wash Ave. Apt 2N) sometime tonight.

(Meat and Greet 4)

“Say the word forevermore...”

I am perfectly entitled to a silly teenage crush.
No matter what.

“...So let it be what it'll be...”

Not too late.
[profile temporarily utilized for space]

They say a new millennium arrives.
We’re still awaiting only ninety-nine.
We’re the children of a decade and we know the future’s coming on fast.
We’re the children of the future and we know it cannot be held back.
We’re the children of an era whose innocence has already passed.
Hold out my wrist / twist back my blade / can’t take away / and *snap*.
There’re fifty things that you can do and I know every one,
So choose your own adventure and the color of your blood.
It’s crystal clear: I’m falling back in love.

The secrets of our universe expand beyond margin.
We don’t need babysitters but we’re home alone again.
Symbol to count / we go to ten / it’s not that late an hour.
We don’t remember where we were, somewhere beneath a tower.
The wall’s been down for oh so long; how can we be apart?
The map just keeps on changing the colors of the chart.
It’s crystal clear: I’m bleeding out the color of your heart.

We’re drawing to a full house and- cowabunga!- four of a kind.
We know some guy’ll fix everything with lots of stuff in little time.
They say that cloning’s science-fiction’s game.
They say that things will never be the same.
We’ve closed our eyes and opened up and entered in nirvana.
The mountainside / to see the sign / we all live prima donna.
They say the past is ever running long.
They say Perot is ever running strong.
It’s crystal clear: we can all get along.

The mouse tail’s growing bigger: a whole new world to flick.
We once practiced the keyboard, but now things simply *click*.
They say a new window’s opening soon.
They say a clear horizon’s shining through.
I stare into your eyes and enter the dimension third.
City rebuilt / within red wall / a chase around the world.
They say that things once left cannot come back.
They say we’ll never need what’s never lacked.
I’m living life right here right now.
It’s crystal clear: and how.

I need just one more chance to find the past I lost amid the mist.
They say nostalgia brings forth pain; instead it brings me only bliss.
Where were you when my youth was sown?
Where were you not that long ago?
I long to taste you on my lips.
I long to relive that first kiss.
It’s crystal clear just what I miss.
It’s crystal clear just what to do
To have another chance with you.
So tell me once and evermore
Why nothing else has gone before.
It’s crystal clear.

Not yet time.
[profile temporarily utilized for space]