“Is this the right way?”
“Oh, no. It leads to the werewolf. But don’t worry, it eats only squirrels.”
You do need to worry about the weresquirrels though.

Jazz: jazz jazz jazz.

“Well, yeah, the weresquirrels eat people. But that’s why they rereleased the werewolf: ecosystem control.”

Snatch up treasure where it lay. 25 years, half a day.

Nothing to tear up over about.

“All that you fashion/all that you make...” (“Deviled Beef.”)
“All that you build/all that you break...” (“Please do not ever mention George Bush. And Winston Churchill in the same sentence, even if you must break all the rules of grammar to do so.”)
“All that you measure/all that you feel...” (I feel like how I feel you felt when you were telling me how you felt about how you felt.)
“All that you sense/all that you scheme...” (It smells like cologne… wow, with an aftersmell of cologne.)
“All you dress up/all that you've seen...” (Had gotten started watching.)
“All you create/all that you wreck...” (She’s indicated interest in doing things… wait that came out badly.)

“Walk on...” (They gave you stepcounters? Cool! What was the occasion?
“Taking away our health benefits; apparently if we take 8000 steps/day, we’re fine.”)

GhettoSchnucks is so... what’s the word for it?
“Real?”
Yes, that’s it! That Schnucks is real. As opposed to LadueSchnucks, which is surreal.

How was Pirates 2? In 3 words. No, don’t answer that. Just say whether it was good or bad. Actually, don’t say anything. I don’t want to know.

Cheered the fabulous.

Though you did text OMG.
Yeah. So in a word...
That’s 3 words.

“I’m a Mormon in the summer. Church of Not-going-to-make-a-big-deal-about-it.”

MD until Monday, to see some things again.

Reverting vertigo
Couched in plateau,
I make move you’ve awaited; though
Just how, I do not know.

Conservation of Food-Energy-Leftovers
Food is neither created nor destroyed, but is converted into energy or leftovers.

Freedom is not being able to do whatever you want. Freedom is not doing whatever you want. Freedom is not whatever you want. Freedom is walking into Domino's and walking out with 2 medium cheese pizzas without paying anything.

If you walk around in broad daylight carrying a knife, you are sketchy.
If you walk around in broad daylight carrying a rolling pin, you are sketchy.
If you walk around in broad daylight carrying a knife and a rolling pin, you are a cook.

“We can dance if we want to / We can leave your friends behind...”

One is allowed to be dramatic if it’s amusing.

That was the type of thing *I* would do. I can give no better compliment than that.

Beef Lo Mein Party: it’s like a Lamb Stew Party, but with beef lo mein instead of lamb stew. If you're reading this and in town, stop by (6617 Wash Ave. Apt 2N) sometime tonight.

(Meat and Greet 2)

Adulthood is not realizing you are not a child. Adulthood is staring into your best friend’s eyes and realizing that they aren’t.

To be an adult one must be both confident and pessimistic.

Pessimism is not believing the glass is half-empty. Pessimism is believing that one day the glass will be empty.

Poculum vacuandum at 1 AM. (So much for intelligence.)

Confidence is not knowing which moves will win nor which moves will lose nor which moves will stalemate. Confidence is knowing what the other player will do. The goals do not change; rather, the positions change, and with them, the way other players will react. Each move bares a new board for a response. Some moves will not be responded to, some will have reaction forced, some can be made only without a response, some require reciprocal action.

To be confident one must be both intelligent and mature.

Maturity is not knowing that one is mature; maturity is knowing that one has been immature. Maturity is the moment of selfconsciousness, of emotional metaawareness. There is probably a correlation with awareness of culture, and of art, and of irony, and of others; or at least some of these. Any correspondence with age is probably coincidental.

Intelligence is knowing when to round down versus up.

The great thing about pizza is that it can be easily transformed into leftover pizza.

Calling not-shotgun.

“First piece of news: my family’s crazy.”
That’s not news.
<simultaneously>“That’s not news.”

Play the Pyramid
A colander.
Cheap Ramen.
Expensive Ramen.
Burned DVD.
A forwarded letter.
An elephant statuette.
Packing peanuts.

[Second round: the judge would have also accepted “You’re in St. Louis?!” for the category “People I’ve run into this week”.]

There’s something almost exotic about Cars, like it a foreign film produced in the country of red states. I found it, despite fitting into none of my interests, nevertheless enjoyable.

After I’m done with my haircut I kill time waiting for the shuttle by looking at new phones at the Sprint store because I’m due for an upgrade. Then I walk to the far shuttle stop, because I feel like hitting the Galleria. As I’m walking by Schnucks I remember the time that I ran into Professor L[] there, and am thinking how hilarious it would be if I again ran into someone. So I turn around- and see K[]! Who gives me a ride to the Galleria. So I get there, and am walking around, and I’m thinking wouldn’t it be hilarious if I again ran into someone. So I turn around- and see Jessica Alba.
You’re lying.
If I had that new phone you’d be looking at her in a brown dress right now.

And then I found my and-then-I-found-my-$10 line.

“Eats, Shoots & Leaves” is an amusing travelogue of punctuation, once you get past the initial apostrophic screed.

I tried to use screedy in conversation, and I got scrabbled.

“There's a lady who's sure...”
Life is a slinky descending an escalator.
“‘Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings...”
The secret to life is to descend a slinky down an escalator.
“Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven...”
I want to descend a slinky down an escalator.
“...my spirit is crying...”
A slinky cannot perpetually descend an escalator.
“...really makes me wonder...”
An escalator cannot perpetually ascend a slinky.
“And a new day will dawn for those who stand long...”
I want an escalator to ascend a slinky.
“And it makes me wonder...”
Life is an escalator ascending a slinky.
“There walks a lady we all know...”
The secret to life is to ascend a slinky down an escalator.
“...To be a rock and not to roll...”

The secret to life is to find something you like doing and to get people to pay you to do it.

Go-to guy for sneaking subversive articles into the school newspaper under the guise of advising incoming freshman.

“Our paper is stupid.”
No, it’s beyond that; it’s retarded little brother. Like, it’s dumb, but you love it anyway.

The only show I’ve watched from the beginning to the end... is Joe Millionaire?
That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

I do not do creativity that well at 1 AM.

I’m like a neuron. My axon potential either fires or it doesn’t.

Roll a bear check.

This would be one of those things that you always do and I never do, except that I did it. And given how many of these types of things you do, it could very well be something you've already done. So, um, not sure how to classify it, grammatically.

Instant Biographical Soundtrack
Take playlist. Shuffle out 17 songs, randomly assigned to the following events: {Opening Credits, Waking Up, Falling in Love, Fight scene, Breaking up, Getting back together, Secret Love, Life's okay, Mental breakdown, Driving, Flashback, Partying, Happy dance, Regretting, Long night alone, Death scene, Ending credits}.

Why is this still on my playlist?
<next>
No, wait, I take it back. Why is *this* still on my playlist?

Learning the language.

“Some verbs have only a [first] aorist, some only a [second] aorist, and some both. There is no difference whatever in the meaning. Greek only does this because otherwise the language would be too easy to learn.”

“You Failed Your Math Test, Comrade Einstein”, aside from having an intriguing title, explores an interesting topic: religious discrimination in the realm of mathematical education in late Soviet Russia. However, the book itself is too badly edited to be worth reading. Some examples are overexplained; others puzzle the reader from missing context. The sections are thematically discordant; some tangentially exploring the mathematical intricacies of sample problems, others considering the biography of noted dissidents. Worst, however, is that what does overlap is repetitive.

In the future, doublestuff Oreos will be considered regular Oreos, and triplestuff Oreos will take the place of doublestuff Oreos.

"Someone's job is to put the cream in the cookies. How cool is that."
“It’s done by machine.”
“It was once done by a person.”
“It’s always been done by machine.”
“What about Amish Oreos?”

“Japan is in Asia and is a small island nation. France is in Europe. Japan-France would then be a small island nation in Europe-Asia. Coincidentally, Europe and Asia aren't really two separate continents, and combined, they are actually called Eurasia. This is funny because Japan-France is not a real country, but Eurasia is a real continent.”

When will I learn to just shut up and be social?

"You're talking. See to that."
<gasps>
<long>"I respect that."
<shocked>"But he's just taking that from Firefly!"
<considers>"I still respect that."

Meat and greet. If you're reading this and in town, stop by sometime tonight for some lamb stew.

“So I was looking at that sign, and at first I thought it said Kabob Institute.”
If I ever open a kabob place, it’s going to be called Kabob Institute.
“Then I realized it was a hospital, and it said Rehab Institute.”
If I ever run a hospital, it’s going to serve kabobs.

“But if you lose, the devil gets your soul...”

What the devil? (What happened? Who am I?)
Speak of the devil. (Just a coincidence. Nothing special.)
Devil in the details. (The details are irrelevant. Hammer out the details.)
Idle hands are the devil’s tools. (Nailed to the cross. Working at cross purposes.)
Devil gets his day. (One day. Day by day.)
Give the devil his due. (Overdue. Do over.)
Make a deal with the devil. (Misdeal. Deal with it.)
Sell your soul to the devil. (Can’t buy happiness. Can’t go back.)
The devil made me do it. (I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say.)
Better the devil you know. (I don’t know. I don’t know.)

My 6s look like 2s.

Pot purchasing.

“Here’s $10. Can you go in and buy me some Nicorette gum?”

The wettest clothes 60 cents can buy.

“Bad Twin” is disappointing as a mystery; the conclusion is unsatisfying given the buildup. However, the book does feature many allusions and metaallusions to the Lost mythology for a fan to feel obligated to read it. I escaped purchase by utilizing my library perk at the bookstore. Which, like the show Lost, has its own layers of mysteries waiting to be excitingly uncovered.

Ramen is not a social food; it is a meal to be eaten alone, behind closed dining room doors. But what if friends were to happen to gather for an impromptu Ramen banquet, with the taboo whisked aside? Then the shocking details are laid bare, with diners able to observe the methods that others have divergently evolved. Some rely on the addition of liquid; others eschew that in favor of pure noodles. Some adorn with the contents of the opened silver packet; others disdain that artificial oversalinated taste in favor of more natural noodles. This one manipulates chopsticks with their fingers, that one lifts the bowl to their lips; this one spoons, that one forks. Everybody does it; no one ever talks about how.

Wiki-Google Proposition
Let the wikilink to x be the link to x’s page in wikipedia. Let w: {s: s is a searchable terms in google} -> N st w(x) = the rank of the wikilink to x in a google search of x. Let w' = max(w(x)).

w' is significant.


Wiki-Google Corollary
Let w* be the preimage of w'.

w* is significant.

Won Civilization Mafia with the town as Mao of the Chinese, despite being lynched Day 1. Which was mostly my own fault: identifying role flavor could not make up for ignoring the identification of antitown in the role PM, and being wildly wrong in my speculation hurt as well. While my suspicions may have been off, I do think my strategizing helped, at least after the second calculations. Though having the setup favor the town proved the biggest asset.

Memorial.

If the person you are stalking knows that you are stalking them, you are doing something wrong.

“sometimes i think it would be really funny to copy the away message of someone who is on my buddy list but shouldn't be just to see 1) if i'm on that person's buddy list (and then if you subsequently IM me in outrage/fear, you are just as scary for having me on yours; 2) if we have mutual friends who report my plagiarism; 3) stalking is fun!; 4) maybe someone will steal this lame away message in a [witty] attempt at rebound humor!”

If the person you are stalking knows that you are stalking them, you are doing something wrong.

11. You know this girl. Not superwell, but you go to the same school and know some people in common and share an activity or two. You’re bored one evening and reading away messages and wind up looking through her lj and come across one of those survey things, which contain things which don't seem significant, but yet at the same time enough to make you feel a little concerned. What do you do?

If the person you are stalking knows that you are stalking them, you are doing something wrong.

Bowled more than three games and more than one hand.

So hot right now:
Been down, isn't it a pity
Go out and find a girl
Dressed so fine and looking so pretty

“...In the summer, in the city...”

Trumping your partner’s ace makes them less of a man.

<->

read&initial
5.10.06
the “mary hasn’t done a new r&i in 3 weeks so danny will since he just finished his last final and is in a silly mood and I mean mary does it all the time so how hard can it really be” edition

Sales were something-or-other compared to last year. Might have been down, might have been up. Or possibly flat. I don’t really know. If you are really curious I’m sure someone knows so you could ask around. But I’d guess that more sales would probably be a good thing in any case. So greet customers, take orders, and don’t forget to smile! :-)

So I've realized I have an inordinately difficult time distinguishing between 2 types of "huh"- the hm-that's-an-interesting-thing-you-just-said huh and the I-don't-understand-what-you-just-said huh. Sometimes if I stare at it long enough I can figure it out, but I'm never completely sure. There's probably some fascinating psychology behind this, so, get on this.
huh

Bravman: the Smith of the 21st century.

In general, things with you in them are more interesting than things without you in them. Er, wait: This car would suddenly become a lot more interesting if you were to suddenly not be in it.

Neither Steak ‘n Shake nor Lamberts, nor Masonic embarrassment, nor final dawn greeted among friends; but let some mobile traditions remain. DVDs watched, games played, music looted, treasures found, random wanderings made from dorm to dorm, and the proper time and place for sleep awaited.

Can I stay over again the night the dorms close?
“Sure, though you might have to sleep in J[]’s bed.”
He is a hottie.
“Indeed he is.”

“Never free / Never me...”

Trying to decide what to make of this ruckus. One on hand, it's totally trying to be facebook, and I don't want to give it the satisfaction. δε, free music.

This is much less complicated than it seems.

“...Turn the pages, turn the stone / Behind the door, should I open it for you?”

Sublet.
Seriously.

The dorms will be open until 5pm. So will your eyes.

I’ll Sleep on the Plane ’06

wd : bridge :: gj : graffiti

Homer’s Corollary to Chekhov’s Gun:
If the epithet “swift-footed” is used in Book 1, there will be a chase scene in Book 22.

We Just Work Here

[There is a surprisingly large amount of symbolism in this Away Message.]

Performance art is dead. So are Marvin Pusè and Pablo Picatuer.

I will admit to indulging in the heresy of believing in CPK, but I submit that the only true authority is Rome.

Free breakfast/free brunch/free pizza: Maybe Attending.
(Gatecrashing the free soda.)

Playing musical sublets.

Can this month be redone? Rather sure I messed it up the first time through.

The backwards thing is I feel like I can go to Rome anytime, but I won’t have another chance to spend a semester at Wash U.

Pack
Pack
There
Back

Sometimes it is that hard.

Test
Test
Problem Set
Translation
Translation
Recommendation
Application
Department
Department
Apartment
Library
Laundry
Windy city
Pack
Pack
There
Back
Test
Test
Problem Set

…Sleep?
I’ll sleep on the plane in the car.

Sometimes it is that easy.

It would be a shame to waste the last day of class taking a test.

“Lunatics are melodramatic.”

(Laughs on the Landing, 9pm tonight)

The eagle falls.

This weekend was surrealistically like the buildup to a TV show finale. Put in your obligatory “I’m still here” cameo and let’s finish this thing up.

“It’s interesting to find someone like that.”
Male and single? I guess you did meet a lot of interesting people last year after all.

First anniversary.
Take that $1.08 and keep it in your minibar.

"We should go out to eat more often. You're like the cash-back option at the checkout line."

Park 17(4): the corner of Wheeler and Fontbonne.

One of the main accomplishments of the Secretariat has been to rename the position “Director of PR” into “Secretary”; the future holds transformations to “Secretary-General” and ultimately to “General”. Moreover, under the Secretariat awesome powers of nature were unleashed on New Orleans and Snape killed Dumbledore. But an entire generation grown under the rule of James Andrew Thomas More Brantley has known only a member-at-large with 5 names. Do not give in to fat and complacency! Danny Zack Caleb Jason Steinert-Bravman-Threlkeld offers an entire *7* names of service! If in crisp autumntime Zack is bringing justice to the people of Cameroon, Danny will be here to administer local affairs. If in fragrant springtime Danny is infiltrating nefarious organizations in the underbelly of Rome, Zack will be here to control the masses. Vote Danny/Zack for member-at-large or we’ll kill you.

Pi meal points.
This is not why I cannot eat anything.

The Dank presented by Suspicious of Whistlers, LabSci, free, 9:30pm tonight.

Seem to have misplaced my shield.

One can count from 0 to 1 in binary. Which makes it like Russian.

One is allowed to eat kitniyot for x days of Passover, where x is the number of Sephardic great-grandparents one has.

Do you know what’s cool?
“Explosions.”

Taxed.

There is also a fifth son, the Zen son, who is not even present at the Seder.

Why isn’t this night different from all other nights?

(As for tonight: 6pm Eliot 3 common room. Help during the day would be much appreciated. Give me a call or stop by Eliot kitchen.)

The ugly part isn’t getting divorced from reality for irreconcilable differences, but figuring out who gets custody.

Just when I thought this week couldn't get any worse.

Liggett.

(Still [don't] have Wheeler but it's not the same.)

Don’t drink orange soda right before an exaggerated physicality warmup.
“That belongs in a book.”

Can this week be redone? Rather sure I messed it up the first time through.

“Dicta sunt utrimque multa, etiam de causa.”

“Remember, remember...”
Saw V for Vendetta. Thematically clever as well as cinematographically superlative to the point of hypnotic. Not going to invoke the cancer loophole, but suffice to say that Natalie Portman with her head shaved is uglier than Natalie Portman without.

“When some ambassadors from Troy offered tardy condolences on the loss of Drusus, Tiberius responded with condolences on the loss of Hector.”

Too late.

If you feel you are eating a taco when actually eating a cake, you are doing something horribly wrong. And should get a fork.

Indiana, you don't know what you're missing.

Actually did and will be doing stuff for April Fool’s this year, but why mess with tradition:

Eggs, toast, and a slice of bacon walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry... but we don't serve breakfast here."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please... and one for the road."

Will autograph today’s StudLife [p.7] for Pepsi. Or any form of caffeine, at this point.

We regret to inform you that, after careful consideration, Washington University in Saint Louis is unable to accept your offer of rivalry at this time...

Danny is a sophomore in Arts & Sciences and likes Pepsi. He can be reached via e-mail at dbravman@wustl[].

In severe pain after running into a ninja.
Worst Jedi ever.

Students for Ethical Solutions presents Dr. Simon Dresden, author of “In Defense of Herbert Spencer: It's Time to Cull the Herd”, this afternoon at 4:30pm in Rebstock 215.

It’s time to call out and be heard

“Philosophy is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat.
Metaphysics is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat that isn't there.
Theology is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat that isn't there and shouting, “I found it!”.”

Found the intersection of classics and math, tinged by linguistics and history- and it’s overwhelmed by a mess of philosophy. Again. Naught to do but follow the cat outside into the night, along a path that hopefully will diverge before leading back to the same location the following year.

“A round of applause for Plato: let him be right today; he can be wrong on Wednesday.”

“So I just show up and say “feed mizzle”?”

Team North Korea’s Got Pyongyang won the first 4 games, before losing all but 1 of the rest (the exception being against our B team), to end at 5-5. What we lack in endurance we made up in luck, managing to take third place off of tiebreakers. FTP, what was the B team’s name?

Team Sean Preston Spears Federline became effectively Team Sean midway through Trivia Night, taking second place behind a quizbowl first place team. (The third quizbowl team took fourth, denying a sweep.) Winning second place merited a $50 iTunes gift certificate... per *player*.

Our $250 pales next to the $500 in BestBuy gift certificates the A team scored.

[And now to TN, completing for mere glory.]

False pessimism.

I like this far too much to hate it.

Know Your Schwamm, half and half:
{introverted, self-conscious, sympathetic, witty, accepting, reflective}
{glum, insecure, lethargic, cynical, embarrassed, withdrawn}

(Honorable Mentions: {mature (in the sense of hating immaturity), violent (in the sense of AngryDestructive)})

You clearly need to be less adjective.

Quite depressing to, of the things one needed/wanted to do over Spring Break, have actually only accomplished laundry and taxes.