“sometimes i think it would be really funny to copy the away message of someone who is on my buddy list but shouldn't be just to see 1) if i'm on that person's buddy list (and then if you subsequently IM me in outrage/fear, you are just as scary for having me on yours; 2) if we have mutual friends who report my plagiarism; 3) stalking is fun!; 4) maybe someone will steal this lame away message in a [witty] attempt at rebound humor!”

If the person you are stalking knows that you are stalking them, you are doing something wrong.

11. You know this girl. Not superwell, but you go to the same school and know some people in common and share an activity or two. You’re bored one evening and reading away messages and wind up looking through her lj and come across one of those survey things, which contain things which don't seem significant, but yet at the same time enough to make you feel a little concerned. What do you do?

If the person you are stalking knows that you are stalking them, you are doing something wrong.

Bowled more than three games and more than one hand.

So hot right now:
Been down, isn't it a pity
Go out and find a girl
Dressed so fine and looking so pretty

“...In the summer, in the city...”

Trumping your partner’s ace makes them less of a man.

<->

read&initial
5.10.06
the “mary hasn’t done a new r&i in 3 weeks so danny will since he just finished his last final and is in a silly mood and I mean mary does it all the time so how hard can it really be” edition

Sales were something-or-other compared to last year. Might have been down, might have been up. Or possibly flat. I don’t really know. If you are really curious I’m sure someone knows so you could ask around. But I’d guess that more sales would probably be a good thing in any case. So greet customers, take orders, and don’t forget to smile! :-)

So I've realized I have an inordinately difficult time distinguishing between 2 types of "huh"- the hm-that's-an-interesting-thing-you-just-said huh and the I-don't-understand-what-you-just-said huh. Sometimes if I stare at it long enough I can figure it out, but I'm never completely sure. There's probably some fascinating psychology behind this, so, get on this.
huh

Bravman: the Smith of the 21st century.

In general, things with you in them are more interesting than things without you in them. Er, wait: This car would suddenly become a lot more interesting if you were to suddenly not be in it.

Neither Steak ‘n Shake nor Lamberts, nor Masonic embarrassment, nor final dawn greeted among friends; but let some mobile traditions remain. DVDs watched, games played, music looted, treasures found, random wanderings made from dorm to dorm, and the proper time and place for sleep awaited.

Can I stay over again the night the dorms close?
“Sure, though you might have to sleep in J[]’s bed.”
He is a hottie.
“Indeed he is.”

“Never free / Never me...”

Trying to decide what to make of this ruckus. One on hand, it's totally trying to be facebook, and I don't want to give it the satisfaction. δε, free music.

This is much less complicated than it seems.

“...Turn the pages, turn the stone / Behind the door, should I open it for you?”

Sublet.
Seriously.

The dorms will be open until 5pm. So will your eyes.

I’ll Sleep on the Plane ’06

wd : bridge :: gj : graffiti

Homer’s Corollary to Chekhov’s Gun:
If the epithet “swift-footed” is used in Book 1, there will be a chase scene in Book 22.

We Just Work Here

[There is a surprisingly large amount of symbolism in this Away Message.]

Performance art is dead. So are Marvin Pusè and Pablo Picatuer.

I will admit to indulging in the heresy of believing in CPK, but I submit that the only true authority is Rome.

Free breakfast/free brunch/free pizza: Maybe Attending.
(Gatecrashing the free soda.)

Playing musical sublets.

Can this month be redone? Rather sure I messed it up the first time through.

The backwards thing is I feel like I can go to Rome anytime, but I won’t have another chance to spend a semester at Wash U.

Pack
Pack
There
Back

Sometimes it is that hard.

Test
Test
Problem Set
Translation
Translation
Recommendation
Application
Department
Department
Apartment
Library
Laundry
Windy city
Pack
Pack
There
Back
Test
Test
Problem Set

…Sleep?
I’ll sleep on the plane in the car.

Sometimes it is that easy.

It would be a shame to waste the last day of class taking a test.

“Lunatics are melodramatic.”

(Laughs on the Landing, 9pm tonight)

The eagle falls.

This weekend was surrealistically like the buildup to a TV show finale. Put in your obligatory “I’m still here” cameo and let’s finish this thing up.

“It’s interesting to find someone like that.”
Male and single? I guess you did meet a lot of interesting people last year after all.

First anniversary.
Take that $1.08 and keep it in your minibar.

"We should go out to eat more often. You're like the cash-back option at the checkout line."

Park 17(4): the corner of Wheeler and Fontbonne.

One of the main accomplishments of the Secretariat has been to rename the position “Director of PR” into “Secretary”; the future holds transformations to “Secretary-General” and ultimately to “General”. Moreover, under the Secretariat awesome powers of nature were unleashed on New Orleans and Snape killed Dumbledore. But an entire generation grown under the rule of James Andrew Thomas More Brantley has known only a member-at-large with 5 names. Do not give in to fat and complacency! Danny Zack Caleb Jason Steinert-Bravman-Threlkeld offers an entire *7* names of service! If in crisp autumntime Zack is bringing justice to the people of Cameroon, Danny will be here to administer local affairs. If in fragrant springtime Danny is infiltrating nefarious organizations in the underbelly of Rome, Zack will be here to control the masses. Vote Danny/Zack for member-at-large or we’ll kill you.

Pi meal points.
This is not why I cannot eat anything.

The Dank presented by Suspicious of Whistlers, LabSci, free, 9:30pm tonight.

Seem to have misplaced my shield.

One can count from 0 to 1 in binary. Which makes it like Russian.

One is allowed to eat kitniyot for x days of Passover, where x is the number of Sephardic great-grandparents one has.

Do you know what’s cool?
“Explosions.”

Taxed.

There is also a fifth son, the Zen son, who is not even present at the Seder.

Why isn’t this night different from all other nights?

(As for tonight: 6pm Eliot 3 common room. Help during the day would be much appreciated. Give me a call or stop by Eliot kitchen.)

The ugly part isn’t getting divorced from reality for irreconcilable differences, but figuring out who gets custody.

Just when I thought this week couldn't get any worse.

Liggett.

(Still [don't] have Wheeler but it's not the same.)

Don’t drink orange soda right before an exaggerated physicality warmup.
“That belongs in a book.”

Can this week be redone? Rather sure I messed it up the first time through.

“Dicta sunt utrimque multa, etiam de causa.”

“Remember, remember...”
Saw V for Vendetta. Thematically clever as well as cinematographically superlative to the point of hypnotic. Not going to invoke the cancer loophole, but suffice to say that Natalie Portman with her head shaved is uglier than Natalie Portman without.

“When some ambassadors from Troy offered tardy condolences on the loss of Drusus, Tiberius responded with condolences on the loss of Hector.”

Too late.

If you feel you are eating a taco when actually eating a cake, you are doing something horribly wrong. And should get a fork.

Indiana, you don't know what you're missing.

Actually did and will be doing stuff for April Fool’s this year, but why mess with tradition:

Eggs, toast, and a slice of bacon walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry... but we don't serve breakfast here."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please... and one for the road."

Will autograph today’s StudLife [p.7] for Pepsi. Or any form of caffeine, at this point.

We regret to inform you that, after careful consideration, Washington University in Saint Louis is unable to accept your offer of rivalry at this time...

Danny is a sophomore in Arts & Sciences and likes Pepsi. He can be reached via e-mail at dbravman@wustl[].

In severe pain after running into a ninja.
Worst Jedi ever.

Students for Ethical Solutions presents Dr. Simon Dresden, author of “In Defense of Herbert Spencer: It's Time to Cull the Herd”, this afternoon at 4:30pm in Rebstock 215.

It’s time to call out and be heard

“Philosophy is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat.
Metaphysics is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat that isn't there.
Theology is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat that isn't there and shouting, “I found it!”.”

Found the intersection of classics and math, tinged by linguistics and history- and it’s overwhelmed by a mess of philosophy. Again. Naught to do but follow the cat outside into the night, along a path that hopefully will diverge before leading back to the same location the following year.

“A round of applause for Plato: let him be right today; he can be wrong on Wednesday.”

“So I just show up and say “feed mizzle”?”

Team North Korea’s Got Pyongyang won the first 4 games, before losing all but 1 of the rest (the exception being against our B team), to end at 5-5. What we lack in endurance we made up in luck, managing to take third place off of tiebreakers. FTP, what was the B team’s name?

Team Sean Preston Spears Federline became effectively Team Sean midway through Trivia Night, taking second place behind a quizbowl first place team. (The third quizbowl team took fourth, denying a sweep.) Winning second place merited a $50 iTunes gift certificate... per *player*.

Our $250 pales next to the $500 in BestBuy gift certificates the A team scored.

[And now to TN, completing for mere glory.]

False pessimism.

I like this far too much to hate it.

Know Your Schwamm, half and half:
{introverted, self-conscious, sympathetic, witty, accepting, reflective}
{glum, insecure, lethargic, cynical, embarrassed, withdrawn}

(Honorable Mentions: {mature (in the sense of hating immaturity), violent (in the sense of AngryDestructive)})

You clearly need to be less adjective.

Quite depressing to, of the things one needed/wanted to do over Spring Break, have actually only accomplished laundry and taxes.

The cross clearly should be displayed in US courtrooms; for it symbolizes the foundations of American justice: the death penalty and torture.

Ethical arguments.

“When Max, a F[] associate, receives his paycheck, he sees that the Company has made a large error in his favor. Max wants to keep the money, but doesn't know if he should. As he makes his decision, what questions should Max ask himself? […]
( ) How would it look to my teenage daughter if I kept the money?”

“Anne is Kyle's boss at F[]. Anne and Kyle also belong to the same church group. They have both attended many of the group's outings and activities together. They are attracted to each other, and Kyle has hinted that he would like to start dating more seriously. Which of the following statements about Anne and Kyle is true? […]
( ) They should quit the church group.”

St. Patrick’s Day, celebrating with taxes.
No connection.

Null day, celebrating with a haircut.
No connection.

(Today is the null holiday I created, celebrating to preserve what little festive momentum there is from Pi Day and the Ides of March through until St. Patrick’s Day. I’m still considering ideas for such details as traditions, rituals, and a decent name.)

Ides of March, celebrating with books.
No connection.

Pi Day, celebrating with bowling.
No connection.

I have an amazing talent to have the library be closed when I actually want to study there.

Who needs Cancun?

Done with midterms. Could have been a lot worse.

For spring break I will be going nowhere, and it will be a vacation.

Da Colbert Code
Word Association
Associated Press
Freedom of the Press
Free
Costly
Katrina
New Orleans
Mardi Gras
Ash Wednesday
Thursday
TGIF
Wendy’s
Peter Pan
Peanut Butter
Bitter Butter Battle
Dr. Seuss
One fish, two fish
Three french hens
12 days of Christmas
8 nights of Chanukkah
8pm
Primetime
Happy Hour
Alcoholics Anonymous
Hello
My Name Is
Mudd
Multipurpose Room
Room with a View
Rear Window
Alfred Hitchcock
GetSuspicious
Suspicious of Whistlers
Be there

          Cheep
      Meow Oink
Bark Moo *Quack*

What did you have to run off for? Mock trial?
“Nope. What's the one other thing it would be?”
On Sunday evenings? Trial.
“No trial practice tonight. In general, what's the other reason I'd be gone?”
Um, let me think. Trial?
“Other than trial.”
Sometimes you have this trial thing to do...
“Hint: off campus.”
Tournament?
“It's not mock trial.”
Is it mock trial?
“In other words, the reason I'm gone has nothing to do with mock trial. Stated differently, if you say anything to do with mock trial, you are wrong. To put it in another way, do not say mock trial again.”

This week will be long, exhaustive, annoying, and potentially requiring utilization of my network of spies and assassins.

For the record, you needn't kill B[] in his sleep. At least, on my account. At least, tonight.

Lost a Firefly themed ninth game of Mafia to a Serial Killer victory. I was Kaylee, a naive cop, and did correctly guess Night 1 that I was unlikely to be accurate; but when Mal was revealed to also be a cop, I figured he was more likely to be insane than for Kaylee to be naive. Ironically, it was moot: my targets were all innocent, at least at the time of investigation: I did investigate the SK who eventually won on a night when he’d have been revealed as innocent anyway.

While I did misplay, it doesn’t seem that any of my mistakes were direct causes of the town’s loss, though they indirectly might have made things complicated enough to be considered contributory to the loss. Interestingly, half of the lynches were correct, including the final 2.

Am I allowed to root for cancer?

"Ringworm, Wheat germ, that heinous perm
Everything from which we turn
Living with cancer isn't so easy
And daily treatments make 'em queasy
Yet there is hope, and help you can

Finding a cure, is the plan
Ordinary people discover every year
Relay For Life helps dissipate the Fear

Learn about cancer, while having fun
It's different than anything else you've done
For Grandma, David or Aunt Mary-Sue
Everyone makes the night meaningful for you"

I’m a big believer in the question-mark method, to indicate to the grader that even though I don’t know the right answer, I know the wrong answer.

Giving up irony for Lent.

“It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do...”
Perform.
Spot the subtext.
Read the subtext.
“...(This world is only gonna break your heart)...”
Establish an environment.
Use the whole buffalo.
Yes/and the scene.
“...No, I don’t want to fall in love...”
Yes/and the relationship.
Find the game.
The game is the relationship.
“...What a wicked game to play...”
The scene is the relationship.
Keep it real.
Focus on the two-person scene.
“...And I want to fall in love...”
Initiate.
Perform.
Alone.
“...Nobody loves no one...”

Wait- did we just drive down this road, turn around, drive back down this road, turn around again, and then drive down it again in the original direction?
“Yes.”
Okay, just checking. Not to imply that that’s not necessarily the quickest route.
“It would be much easier if North Carolina roads were built assuming Euclidean geometry.”

In MO. Give me a little time to get back.

After twice botching my order I paid $10 for an $8.98 meal. I then told the cashier to wait while I fished out 2 pennies. Then I received $1 and 4 pennies in change. I didn’t say anything. The cashier didn’t say anthing. I can feel myself getting dumber just by being in this state [WV].

Enfold, old friend, my knees
In victory’s
Comforter; moan blown echoed breeze
To me: / How are you? / Please.

Dropping S&S party: good times, Italian food, and God will understand:

If the Lutherans are correct, then you didn’t need the organizational structure of a class to learn about religion anyway.
If the Calvinists are correct, then it was predetermined anyhow and now you know you’re saved.
If the Catholics are correct, it’s fine since you’ve made your confession and feel guilty about it.
If the Unitarians are correct, then since the class wasn’t on Sundays you don’t need to worry about it.
If the Hindus are correct, then you’ll just take the class again later.
If the Jews are correct, then since you’re celebrating with food it’s perfectly kosher.
If the Atheists are correct, then this definitely isn’t a problem.

I may have forgotten what to do on a Friday night on campus with a free weekend, but I have not forgotten how to sleep for 14 hours.

Rule of 27
The 1st time something funny is said: it’s funny.
The 2nd time: it might be funny.
The 3rd time: funny.
The 4th time: not funny.
The 5th time: might be funny.
The 6th time: not funny.
The 7th time: not funny.
The 8th time: not funny.
The 9th time: not funny.
The 10th time: ...not funny.
The 11th time: not funny.
The 12th time: not funny.
The 13th time: not funny.
The 14th time: not funny.
The 15th time: almost funny.
The 16th time: still not funny.
The 17th time: not funny.
The 18th time: not funny.
The 19th time: not funny.
The 20th time: not funny.
The 21st time: not funny.
The 22nd time: not funny.
The 23rd time: not funny. At all.
The 24th time: not funny.
The 25th time: not funny.
The 26th time: not funny.
The 27th time: funny.

The 28th time: not funny.

St. Louis weather is stupidcrazy. Yesterday it was 70; today, with wind chill, it’s to be 8.

Speaking of things that don’t make enough sense:
Tonight-7:30pm-Brown 100-Suspicious of Whistlers-free.

Romanian Poncho
Fill a cup with Coke.
Pour it out.
Fill the cup with Minute Maid Lemonade.
Add 2 limes.

So I had a bad dream the night before my Latin presentation on Suetonius, and I though about asking my professor for an extension in response to this bad omen. But then I thought to myself, what would Suetonius do? Why, he’d ask Pliny what to do! And sure enough Pliny has a letter in which he responds to Suetonius’s fears, and pointing out it might be a good omen, and the same thing once happened to him, and he’ll argue the case if he wants. And then offers the extension.

Not me. I can give a 20 minute presentation in 15 minutes.

"Everything women say is significant on some other level- and often strategically diabolical- whereas nothing men say has any meaning at all beyond the actual words. This is the cause of many if not most of all male-female strife."

Thinking of.

Team Romanian Poncho had a bonus about recurring female Star Trek characters, which I tuned out, since among other reasons I only knew one. And it was Her. And I would have been correct.
Somehow this hurts more than the 4-8 loss with a personally dismal performance.

No, Illinois: If I want to eat thick slabs of Italian food with a knife and fork, I’ll order lasagna.

Relationship Squeeze Theorem

     lim         relationship = 0
(t-> 2/14-)

As Valentine’s Day is approached, the more something in a relationship becomes nothing.
Also: something > goldfish > nothing.
Therefore, as it gets closer to Valentine’s Day, something becomes nothing, and thus the relationship becomes equal to a goldfish.
By definition of goldfish, another’s presence is insignificant, and you are playing with yourself.
Therefore, you better get her a Valentine’s Day gift, dearie QED.

I'd never been poked before now. Yet after abstaining from poking for so long, I feel I have to ask myself... was it a little anticlimatic? I mean, all that buildup, and you always hear people talking about getting poked, and it's all over the facebook, and it seems like everybody's doing it. But, well, I guess I never found that special someone to be poked by. But even if it does feel a little meaningless, I'll always remember and treasure my first poke. I hope it was as special for you as it was for me.

But, I mean, we can definitely poke each other again sometime if you want. Call me.

[Uh, that's it? That's your idea of a poke? Oh-kay. Sorry, dearie, but I've had much better.]

Threptoi; because even in a 400-level Latin class it is sometimes necessary to make dead baby jokes.

“You can’t be prompted on “Pride”.”

Team Devastatingly Hip, having traveled to Chicago prepared to potentially not win a single game at the ACF tournament, managed to go 4-9 to tie for 7th. And we had fun. And made good time on the trip back. And didn’t get a ticket. And might have left the buzzers in the car. <pats back condescendingly>

JFK or RFK?
“RFK. We didn't get a chance to see what he was going to do.”
Or who.

By the time one discovers the Gobstopper is hollow, it is too late to do anything meaningful regarding it.

(Broke)Back(to the Future)

1/2 season.

Plus 6 more weeks of winter, though I’m not sure how to count 1 weekend in Chicago; allegedly there will be snow.

WWJD
INFJ

To WUPD, “very important” translates to “a loose bike lock”.

“Nobody is more important than this conversation. Nobody is definitely more important than the Orbit Gum girl, though.”
Ergo the Orbit Gum girl is a ham sandwich QED.
“(a+b^n)/n = x, therefore Nobody is more important than her.”

Nobody is featured in an important StudLife article! [p.10]

But if God doesn't exist, the above does not hold. So I have a decision to make: Him, Her, or Nobody?
“Her, obviously.”
Obviously.
“Obviously. Obviously.. Obviously... obviously?”
Careful there; you're straying into clearly territory.
“Obviously!”

Please tell everyone your name, where you’re from, your favorite color, and how you would contract AIDS.
---
Nobody needs a better introduction. I desperately need to update the Nobody facebook page ASAP. Please send me clever ideas for stuff I can put for personal info, courses, groups, etc.

“I wish to protest bonus 6; I liked “The Island”.”

"Let me get the tournament director. Oh wait. That's me."

Kine, being a plural sharing no letters with its singular form, *is* linguistically unusual. This British battleground *did* serve as the working title for Tom Clancy’s “The Sum of All Fears”. Jim Carrey’s character in the French Canadian version of “Batman Forever” *is* instead referred to as this, not The Riddler. However, it *is* also known for certain criminals who wielded a different kind of projectile weapon.

“I heard she was going to slap me.”
I heard something more... fatal.

“It's not supposed to be random; it’s supposed to be randomized.”
---
Nobody can be so trivial.

“I think I just messed up my interview.”
I can take your mind off of that, if you’d like.
“Sure."
Over winter break, I [...].
“Wow. <pause> Yeah, that’ll do it.”
---
Nobody saw that coming. I need material ASAP for the facebook profile: personal info, courses, groups, etc.- *anything*.

mhnin aeide, qea, Phlhiadew AcilhoV
oulomenhn, h muri’ AcaioiV alge’ eqhke,
pollaV d’ijqimouV yucaV Aidi proiayen
hrwwn, autouV de elwria teuce kunessin
oiwnoisi te daita- DioV d’eteleieto boulh-,
ex ou dh ta prwta diasththn erisante
AtreidhV te anax, andrwn kai dioV AcilleuV.
---
Nobody’s story is more epic. Sing me material for facebook: profile info, courses, groups, etc.