Now we are 6.

Perfection Dichotomy
Define something perfect as something which is perfect.
Define something imperfect as something which is not perfect.
Define something perfect as having every aspect of it perfect.
Consider the universe. Either it is perfect and everything in it is perfect, or it is imperfect and everything in it is imperfect.
Thus either everything is perfect, or everything is imperfect.

Which?

“Ready? Let’s roll onto something new...”

Autumn won’t ever take the place of Spring.

[Not “No Doubt” and certainly not “Don’t Speak”.]

I’m sorry.

“Heaven ain't close in a place like this...”

Vertigo not being felt.

Perhaps it’s the worse the dance is, the better time I have, because of the higher relative of enjoyment. There are deeper heights to scale.

Common reorganization.

Suspicious of Whistlers
Tonight at 8pm
Brown 100
FREE

Three men can keep a secret if two of them are dead and the third gets assassinated on the Ides of March.

Latin fix.

“I can't change...”
Bittersweet Symphony shouldn’t have words.

However, it also shouldn’t be played for 20 seconds in an answering machine greeting, especially one that then continues with the “this is me/I’m not here/leave a message/press page or leave a callback number/beep”
“...from one day to the next...”

If you're reading this, you should be reading this.
(Yes, I know, you have to login. It's worth it.)

No cheese Gromit.

Classic declarations
[profile temporarily utilized for space]

You better put out for this.
“So that’s how Cat gets so many people interested in declaring Classics.”

“I really hate Paris.”
“I know! Who would choose love over power?”
“Uh, that’s not what I meant.”

“That was Paris Hilton.”
“Really?”
You probably didn’t recognize her with her clothes on.

Paris Hilton is worth a mass.

“I’m a Plato addict.”
No need to apologize.

“So there’s this thing this guy makes on the Internet which I read, and that was very vague but now I’m going to get more specific.”

“I keep a livejournal but instead of writing it down, I just act it out real-time.”

“I want people to do to me the things I do to them. No wait-“

40% chance of needing to wear something over a white t-shirt.

“Look at this shirt; isn’t it you?”
It might be, except, well… you know that dishtowel you have?

“I used to go to a different sex shop but I kept on running into my parents there.”

I’m still on ‘Chelsea doesn’t like Bare Naked Ladies’.

"The best date I had was at DelTaco; it was drive-through."

That’s it? Inari’s just rice in a shell? That’s like- hold on- like going on a date with a girl and going back to your room with her afterwards and kissing her... on the hand.
And isn’t Inari a character on Firefly?

I’m just racking my brains trying to think of someone...
“Worse off, or that you can get with?”
Ouch. But point.

I don’t care about him anymore; I’m worried about how you’re reacting. Like, did you have a drunken 1-night hookup?
You know I don’t drink! <pause> Okay, that was really funny.

What do you call a drunk ninja? A pirate.

Seriously, Cat better put out.
“She promised?”
See, I have this habit of making slightly tasteless jokes. And I'm a pathological liar. I still don't understand why people believe me.

Friends don’t let friends eat at Center Court alone.

The controversy of abortion seems like it has such an Alexandrian solution that I only doubt its effectiveness because it seems to have occurred to no one else. The disagreement stems from the fact that the Constitution is ambiguous: some point to a right to life, others point to liberty. A disagreement about Constitutional meaning can be resolved in one of 2 ways. Either by judicial fiat, resulting in the ridiculous politicizing and overdominance of the issue given to the Supreme Court. Or by constitutional convention, letting the people amend contradiction away.

So my solution: Have the pros draft their amendment, the antis theirs. In November let both be voted on. If either is enacted, the knot is cut. If neither, well, then the status quo is upheld and there is legitimacy for the judicial decisions, and worst case the issue is no worse off then before.

Of course it’s not that simple. But I don’t know why not.

“I’m more than a bird / I’m more than a plane...”

My new facebook photo has been taken, though it may be a bit before I replace the one currently up which just celebrated its anniversary. Am also trying to get the new facebook photoalbums working, which might involve the digital camera I finally got around to using.

“I’m only a man in a silly red sheet...”

The music sucked. Had to buy scalped counterfeit free tickets. Was cold outside and noisy inside. Found few other people I knew. Never got the gender ratio aligned properly. Hadn't danced for awhile; am a bad dancer anyway. The music *really* sucked. Everyone else wanted to leave early.

I had a wonderful time at Bauhaus.

"...I'm not gonna stand here and wait."

Team Emu took 2nd place with a final neg when the score was tied entering the last question. Which I can't help blaming myself for: my faulty scorekeeping, my bad guessing strategy, my last second blanking on a decent stab, plus the usual places where points could have earlier been picked up elsewhere, especially because I had not anticipated an opponent’s crazy buzzer speed.

But even with the worst case interpretation having me losing $40 on the final question, we still won $60. Besides, freshman upsets are tradition.

"Flying over the competition."

“If I go crazy then will you still / Call me...”

Clark Kent for a day, or two; or a year, or two; or a lifetime, or two; or henceforth. Phonemes of the same allophone; here let me hear being heard.

“I left my body lying somewhere / In the sands of time...”

“As a general rule, I’m against appeasement.”
I’ll give you that.

It’s probably for the best that the Cardinals lost in the NLCS. It would have been tragic to be the ones breaking curses in 2 consecutive World Series.

What’s a scone?
It’s like a muffin, but less cakey.
What’s the opposite of cakey?
Sconey.

Lost Newbie 128 for so many deserved reasons. Such as, despite ethical misgivings, my undertaking an admittedly risky strategy of sacrificing my fellow mafia through deliberate bad play, which wouldn’t have worked even if it hadn’t backfired from the town’s extreme lurking. Or ignoring my gut feeling and other ethical misgivings to kill a suspicious player rather than an unprotected cop. I’m not even upset about having kills prevented twice. Honestly, being lynched at the end wasn’t so bad, considering I felt I did all I really could that final day.

“This is the noise that keeps me awake / My head explodes and my body aches...”

2 midterms (plus a discussion session) today. Can’t get a song out of my head, can’t get material in.

“...We'll stay up all night...”

Kipling’s Cat in Rome- wall facing the door.
Escher- ceiling.
The Creed of the Sociopathic Obsessive Compulsive- side of closet.
EmpTyger- ? (I have had numerous authorities cite alongside the door, but I am yet torn; there is a symbolism that directs me towards placing it by the bed and window.)
?- The large empty wall remains above my desk. (Something is needed there, if not an entire mural. Suggestions welcome.)

Singumore sopholar.
Imperfect seductress,
Pursuing a trivial
Message (subtext),

Telecommunicates,
Still with her many mates
Keeps up her streak- with a
Little black dress.

In the beginning God created grammar and language...
And amongst all the words God placed an adjective, and He formed this adjective making it suitable and superior, sound and excellent, honorable and reliable; it was able and bountiful, pleasant and benevolent, loyal and moral; it was beneficial to health, and attractive, and proper.
And God saw that it was Good.

(The evolving English language is not a product of intelligent design.)

Wilma leading to Greek.

(Apparently hurricant names only go through W; if there are more, they are named after Greek letters. This is not without symbolism.)

Since my cell phone service had begun to improve, naturally it was time for something appropriately destructive, such as Mobular’s display dying. The phone works otherwise, so communication is possible, if slightly trickier than previously.

Since I will be needing to get a new phone soon, if not a new service, what cell phone company do people have, and how good/bad are the service, customer and otherwise?

Svenson opening.

The Wash U A Team (tragically left unnamed; perhaps Gold to match the Wash U Green and Red of the B and C teams?) in my first performance on it went undefeated. The best of my 13 powers would have to be metaing “Valkerie” after only “In the video game Gauntlet, this character <buzz> wielded a sword”; though I must also must mention powering “Tolkien” given Oxford and Edith.

"Among her childrens books are Whangdoodle..."
<buzz> "Julie Andrews?"
"Correct."
"That was power, right?"
"No, you had to get it before Doodle."
"Actually, the cutoff was Whang."
Whang should never be the cutoff.

Even so, I regrettably could not match last year’s tastelessness even with the statue of the miner costumed as a crusader.

Amongst the coolest things ever would be a T-Rex on Segway.

I would like to remind Peter that following a performance the energy level is going to maintain its high; and that there if one looks hard enough, one can find humor in every situation; and that a troupe should, as a whole, collectively encourage the expression of humor; and that murder, torture, dismemberment, and sodomy are abhorrent and illegal practices; and that it was all Amy’s idea.

If I were forced to be doing EComp again, I would be doing a Pirate vs. Ninja research paper.

Suspicious of Whistlers will be at the St. Louis Science Center Friday evening. Transportation might be able to be provided- let me know as soon as possible if interested.

Philosophy *sucks*. This paper *sucks*. Well, that’s not true. This paper doesn't exist.
That's philosophical. Can something that does not exist suck?

Mario Kart and Mario Kart, and Princess is still the best. Let nostalgia come to Shanedling.

Too many possibilities, but still pure skill.

“It’s like Rock-Paper-Scissors, only it’s called Bear-Hunter-Ninja.”
Okay, but how does the ninja kill the hunter?
“It’s a fucking ninja!”
Okay, but how does the bear kill the ninja?
“It’s a fucking bear!”

[Delivery beats Decency. Sorry.]

Since commercial airlines will probably never allow smoking henceforth, it seems wasteful to have the “no-smoking” light next to the “fasten seatbelts” light. While the latter is a condition which will change over a flight, the former condition is constant; unlike, say, the usage of portable electronic devices. So, why not make that a light instead?

As I discovered on a flight last week, however, apparently USAirways beat me to the patent office. Moral victory, I suppose.

So I’m walking through the mall past a shoe store and a bright orange Converse catches my eye. So I have to go inside and inquire. And I discover that the only pair that color they carry is the one on display. Which happens to be in my size. And which happens to be 50% off.

I hereby declare the week of suck over.

About a week ago I indicated that this week would suck.
It still does.
It still is.

"O the cares of humans! O how much emptiness there is in things!"

I haven’t yet been to class this week and it still sucks.

New year or near you.

Home, with only Van Ness Monster to listen to. Which is might not be as unpleasant as it sounds.

[Speaking of new names: Dental Sedimental?]

Home until Tuesday. But it’s not the same.

I fixed myself dinner because I didn't feeling like leaving the room. I had a piece of bread with Hershey kisses and Hershey kisses on the side. I felt really sick.

My apologize for being whiny. And not conjugating my verbs.

And she tore it apart. Which I can respect, because it's my first college paper, and I wrote it the night before, and it sucked.

I wish people knew me and that I am just unstable.

Let Satan have his day.

Sprinkles make the hot chocolate.

The name of an improv troupe should
1) Be easy to pronounce
2) Not sound like an a capella group

Suggestions are being solicited through Saturday.

ps It’s a Long-form!

“Actually, I just ate dinner- with someone you know.”
Animal, vegetable, or mineral?
“Animal.”
Are they bigger than a breadbox?
“Slightly.”
Are they sma- wait, is it Cat?
“No.”

Mission Accomplished.

Finally had the time to admire my orangy new iPod, which needs a name. Currently proprsed is Van Ness Monster. Taking alternate suggestions until I find the time to actually load music onto the thing.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Eliot 2 Girls Are Ugly

(Swiping an air hockey table is a 4-man job.)

Comparatives and superlatives:

Walk in, lie down.
Walk in, lie down, emergency room.
Walk in, lie down, Emergency Support Team.

Lost and La, if not other things which should be celebrated but won't be on account of it being Wednesday. <insert hurricane joke here>

My toes hate Mondays.

So today the girl behind me in linguistics needed a stapler. Which I so carry with me. Really. I do.

First of all, next time you have a heart attack, um, tell me about it? And second, get rid of that pig.

Of all the things not to do...
...Drugs are one of them?
I was going to say not be yourself.

Why do you have 2 tissue boxes?
That’s my vice tissue box. If my first one dies, this one takes over.

Unfortunately didn’t have a chance to follow up last year’s reputation setting limericks, but did manage the following overlooked entry for [blonde]:

A bimbo bearing a hot bod;
Her insights, at best, are quite odd.
Portrayed as a ditz
In humor, but its
Just a stereotype. Omigod.

The reason that it is impossible to make a good parody of “American Pie” is because it mimetically imitates thricely.

Though it might be possible to make a parody of American Pie about American Pie parodies. I am hypothesizing that while it may not be able to be good, it has the potential to not be bad.

Audiences do not read for Audiences alone, but for Men.

Wednesday is my Katrina day. Disastrous, oversaturated, and dominated by awesome forces of destruction and mismanagement.

(I figure Katrina jokes should be tasteful any day now, and want to get a jump on it.)

Call for help.

But not to Cingular, who during a roadtrip to Indianapolis reset my service without prompt or notification, and still do not feel like restoring my now-borderline coverage to beyond 1 bar at best.

*4* showers in one day? Never has being so clean felt so dirty.

(And 4 loads of laundry accounted for/corrected, a most impressive considering there being only 3 laundry machines.)

"President Bush probably never read Livy or Virgil."

        
           

I wish I drew a cypress well.

“...male si mandata loqueris aut dormitabo aut ridebo.”

Schedule: Active/fair.

Underage drinking is not a joke.

Just kidding.

c i p h e r s
o & 1 9 2 0 1
d 2 1 5 2 1 9
e 1 9 4 1 1 3
s 1 3 9 2 0 !

“References
[1] Some reference to something, probably an Austin paper.
[2] That one with the cave.
[3] Parr’s proof of concept thingie
[4] Their paper?
[5] ditto”

“This proposal proposes...”

All I know is that I know nothing.

Through no fault of my own I lost Mini 199, a time travel variant. I, as mafia, had wondered before the game whether it made any sense to kill myself night 1, so that I’d be resurrected and thought innocent. But doing the math and considering a SK probably existed, I decided it would most likely fail. Ironically, a serial killer hit me Night 1, and neither they nor my partner left solitary could defeat the town. This was my first time being targeted Night 1; I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or flattered.

wash. u. pride.


it’s in st. louis dammit.

In retrospect, I should have wagered one of 2 packages, one of which contained my new iPod, for 2 bottles of limeade in RPS.

Schrödinger’s cat is <blink>not</blink> alive.

Cat, too stubborn for her own good, refuses to use AIM. This, despite the fact that some of us would like to know if she's in without having to trek over to her room. Really. How hard is it to put up away messages? She doesn't even need to actually chat with anyone. Just a simple "I am currently away from my computer". How hard is that? Seriously.

She'll "think about it" if 500 people petition her. I figure she'll give in long before that. Either way, I give it a month at most.

Cat Karayan Will Use aim If 500 People Join This Group

[Okay fine facebook wins blech.]

Thai restaurants are required to have a neon outline of Thailand in a window.

Nobody doesn’t live here anymore.

Moving Day. No Sludgefest ’05, yet somehow that’s thematic.

So I guess the summer’s over.

“This is the dawning of the rest of our lives...”

I was thinking about going to AU until I realized that move-in day would be “Let’s drive down River Road.”

“Are these the Great Plains?”
“No. These are just the Good Plains; the Great Plains don’t begin until the Mississippi. The settlers crossed it and were like, ‘These are some Great Plains!’”
Yeah, these are more like the Mediocre Plains. Or the Seen Better Plains. Or the If I Really Have To Plains. Or the Regret It in the Morning Plains.

Someone tell the metaphor for “earsight” so it can stop bothering me. In other words:

Eye : Eagle :: Ear : __?__

9/17: Constitution Day.
[Endcap 3]

Sorry this can't be funnier, but I can't make those jokes.

Red -> Purple
Black -> Grey
White -> Orange

Favorite color defaults to blue. In my case, I am pleased by the past year's neoarrival of orange. Though I can neither fully explain nor deny the lost childhood attraction of red, found in such dropped relics as baseball fandom, token selection in Clue, and preferred editing hue. The color requires further study, I suppose.

Singled in this week’s SI with a shared attribution. My overwhelming best entry {New ombudsman: Simon Cowell.}, which aside from being clever was original, was completely overlooked.

[Back from Indiana, still in sublet for another]

Roadtrip. Should be fun.

1875678165
1431234212231
5353535354545454565
5353535354545454567

Pari passu seems like an unnecessary phrase for English to borrow from Latin, until one realizes that there isn’t any nonawkward equivalent. And it’s in the ablative. I <heart> the ablative.

What do “From Russia with Love” and “Empire Records” have in common?
[Endcap 2]

Mystery--; Sci-fi/fantasy++;
So satisfying.

If the flat of the fork touches the cake with more pressure than the sides or tines, then you are doing something horribly wrong.
So wrong that I will need to excuse myself to go learn some Italian.

Tigris El'phantidae
Two tokens of trav'ling
{New York, San Diego,
LA, Saint Lou'}

Bear thanks; wish my nineteenth
Anniversational
Day were sensational.
(ie: With you.)

It's not every day that I don't turn 19.

You know the person making a loud noise behind you every time you swing when playing minigolf? That’s one of my evil minions.

(Weapon of choice: lanyard)

The perfected Subway sandwich
Italian bread
Pepperoni
Chicken Breast
Shredded Cheese
Tomatoes
Olive Oil
Oregano
Parmesan Cheese

[Results possibly reported prematurely. Further testing will need to be conducted regarding a splash of vinegar.]

You have to spend money on properties to make money in Monopoly. That's the only lesson in life Mom ever taught me. <pause> Except don't skimp on eye makeup remover.

Even if I made a movie about time-traveling cannibals, it would not achieve its purpose. Rather, the movie would have to be not made by me.

[They can't all be noncryptic.]

Saw Donnie Darko- twice. Incredible foreshadowing ties the film up so confusingly neatly, more so than “Twelve Monkeys”. Still not sure I completely understand it, but all the more enjoyable. And, school spirit requires my cheering a murderous bunny of death.

Dead-Man-in-the-Middle-of-the-Road Productions!

Dumbledore might not be a house-elf. Read HP6, so spoil me rotten.

Southwest offers $200 credits to be bumped from a 1-stop overcrowded delayed flight to a nonstop one that would get in 1:45 later. Didn’t work this time, but there’s definitely a strategy here.

Dentist/eye doctor done, so now the more celebratory parts of the trip. No idea what form it will be taking, really. Call etc. if in town.

[And the usual birthday wishes from don't-like-the-cable-people. Might be a little hard to contact me, but should be somehow possible.]

Maryland for, among other things, my birthday. Call/IM if in town.

My First Endcap

Halved in this week’s SI: shared a partial attribution for a similar entry. {Howard Dean: “We are ahead. We are near ahead. We drew. How are we down? We won! We are now hardened! Do we need a new war, or Enron honored, or Roe-Wade deadened? No, no, and no! We head on! NH! And OH. And DE. And OR and WA. And NE, and ND! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”}

Though the funniest piece of journalism would have to be the headline “U.S. Army to Leave 13 Bases in Germany”.

I so just did one of those things that you clearly aren't thinking at the time, and only when you realize the severity of your errors do you realize the severity of your errors.

“My parents never let me see “Jesus Christ Superstar”.”
He dies at the end.

“What if they made hair color keyed to one’s emotions?”
“What color would confused be?”
Blonde.

Hey- how does Auld Lang Syne go?
Um? Do you mean the lyrics or the melody?
The melody.
Um? ba baaa ba ba/ba baaa ba ba...
Okay, thanks. <click>

Lime Shrimp Ramen not only would be better without the Shrimp, but without the Ramen. The artificial flavoring is that good.

Thematically, Minute Maid Limeade was on sale at Schnucks: $3/gallon.

What’s the difference between a duck?
( ) The left leg is identical.
( ) It has one leg alike.
( ) One leg is similar.
( ) One leg's twice the same.
( ) One of its legs are both the same.
( ) Cantaloupe

(Eider one will do.)