After hiatus, doubled in the SI, although my best entry did got regretfully edited to be less cryptic. Though I had a lot of rejecteds which nevertheless quite amused me.

$0$ + I See Debt, People = $.06
MARC Train + Fast Listening = Lent Me Your Ears
The Scarlet Pimp + Letter of the Law = Red E Whore Not
Bugs Stops Here + Hamburger Hamlet = Fuddruckers
Oh, He's Only 71 + There Will Be Bud = Older And Weiser
Lucky Human's Foot + Best in Shoe = Cinderella
Perm und Drang + Who Framed Roger = Bad Hare Day
What Goes Around + Cut and Run = Belt Buckle
Acid Trip + AZ the World Turns = pHoenix
Samuel Longhorn + Text Mex = Samuel TildeN
Bullshirt + Hits the Fan = 3ShirtsToTheWind
Tyger Tyger + $0$ = Fearful Symmetry
Potter's Weal + There Will Be Bud = Medicinal Use Only
Hoss's Ass + ReplyHazy TryAgain = Behind The 8 Ball
Ponderosé + Pants on Fire = Peterosé

Comedic drama has many words to describe its various forms: farce, parody, sketch, etc. But there is no variety to identify a nuance of tragedy, no diminutive term to denote a slight one. Therefore, if one comes across what might be a little bit of such, it is best to not stare too closely, to circle around warily, to signal an assassin, and- like the Cardinals defeating the Astros 3-2 in unfortunately just over 2 hours- to overcome it swiftly, decisively, and victoriously.

I was intending to commit mail fraud, but it turns out I was stealing something intended for me, which, having the wrong name and address, got misdelivered.

The reason to have someone exist is so that I can IM them to say, Be more like me!

Pending.

[Bowling tonight?]

“Now is the winter of our discontent…”

Fires left burning, parties thrown yesteryear echoing out open lit windows, links to laughter heard once somewhere. Romanticized nostalgia, nostalgic romance. History, a vehicle in motion, in Park.

Day for Memorials, and I have so many here.

“…Made glorious summer…”

Old is new again.

[If anyone is seeing Indiana Jones 4, let me know.]

Maybe it’s because college is over, it’s not so hard any more.
Thai pizza has finally been eaten.

That's the worst kind of illogic. And I don't always disapprove of illogic.

I hate guessing what something might be; I’d rather guess what it mightn't.

I am using a lot of double+ negatives tonight.

“We were having a conversation about boobs, and you perk up at “peeing on my feet”.”
“I have a funny story about that! So, we were at the Olive Garden…”

The problem with cleaning things up is that they just get dirty again.
This is not a problem.

“Orange nipples do not help you escape predators.”

Well I Guess That's All Over With Now

[Tonight, 6pm, 6611 Wash Ave. Apt. 1S. If you’re in STL, show up. Cell if questions. There will be food; I’m thinking gnocchi?]

No baggage.

“Let’s play pretend / Let's act like it comes naturally…”

Well, that’s all over with.

“…Let’s go back to that…”

Okay, now what.

“…I’ll be so much better…”

“Universitas Washingtoniana
Sancti Ludovici
in Civitate Missouriensi
salutem omnibus has litteras lecturis quibus nos infrascripti,
morem exemplumque maiorum secuti
cum doctrinam adeptos tum ipsam doctrinam in comitiis sollemnibus honore augendi,
testamur nos ornavisse…”

[profile temporarily utilized for space]

“…perfectis omnibus quae requiruntur probataque eruditione laudabili,
gradu atque titulo
Artium Baccalaurei
universali cum honore
eique concessisse omnia iura privilegia beneficia huic gradu pertinentia,
in cuius rei testimonio nos pro auctoritate nobis commissa hisce litteris Universitatis sigillo munitis
subscripsimus nomina nostra die XVI mensis Maii anno MMVIII.”

“I am done with college.”
I like to think of it as college is done with me.

Full circle.

Last meal
Pasta e fagioli
Gnocchi in tomato cream sauce
Leg of lamb
Softshell crab
Ricotta cheesecake

I was mingling to pick up an extra dessert and to help convince C[] to go over to the Chancellor’s table and tell him what he thought of the whole Phyllis Schlafly thing. He did…
“Excellent.”
…And I got a second cheesecake.

Ent : not tree :: shepherd : not sheep

This is the type of thing I’m going to miss.

Keep moving.

Bravman’s Razor
All other things being equal, the most complicated solution is best.

I would be more successful if I were having less fun.

I’m not sure which is more wrong: the statement or the definition of successful. At least I know for sure I've gotten something out of college.

1) You're hungry. 2) You're craving a specific food. This isn't a hard one.
“But you're forgetting 3) I'm lazy.”
Okay, I forgive you. Also, this might become an Away Message soon.
“Well make sure to edit it suck that I have proper grammar. Um. Such. Not suck.”
That also might become an Away Message soon.
“I thought you might say that.”
I'll take an easy one.

This might become easy soon.

“I am going to go buy good. Er, food.”
Good for you. Er, food for you.

Epic conclusion

"SUSPICIOUSLY SHAMEFUL"
or
"WHISTLING DIXIE"
a two-act play in one act
adapted for the stage by
DANNY BRAVMAN
for
NO SHAME THEATRE
at
WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY
in
SAINT LOUIS
on
MAY 7, 2008
starring
FIVE GUYS
FIVE GIRLS
and
SATHYA SRIDHARAN

“He speaks in riddles… I do not comprehend!”

“I don’t care if…”

Calendar Quiz

“1. What happened in Philadelphia and London on Tuesday, September 8, 1752?
2. What month did the October Revolution occur in?
3. Why are July and August the same length?
4. You there! What day is this?!”

What the dickens.

The only one of these I had to look up was 4. Tuesday. May 6. I'm not even sure that's right.
“The correct response is "Why today sir? It's Christmas day!"”

what time is it in bloomington
no really.what time is it

“…Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too…”

“Monday morning, hesitate / I can’t get out of bed…”

Jello Theory
You want Jello.
But it takes overnight to set, and you won’t want it in the morning.
And for this reasoning you didn’t make Jello last night.
Therefore, make it tonight, so that when the same thing happens tomorrow night, you won’t not have made it.

“…A box of memories lying…”

It’s never too late for the Jello Theory.

“…It’s too late / to let all your feelings show…”

It’s never too late for Jello.

“…Running out of time tonight…”

It’s never too late.

“…It’s too late…”

Do not watch Lost while feverish.

I got this crazy idea that Matthew Fox was actually Sawyer and Josh Holloway was actually Jack. No, really. Hear me out.

Check plus, mate in, 3.
I need to have taken more classes with Laura Castanon.

“There are spacegoats in my paper.”

Too many pages.