Saw The Spirit. Other than the style echoing Sin City, this film treats all of its elements without any seriousness. Unfortunate, as I could use a moral about empathy for a location over people, rather than satirization of the concept.

Does one have less uncountable things or fewer uncountable things?

Fewer, but none of them will understand this.

I never realized how hard it was to get out of this house.
I know. I remembered why I got my learner’s permit.
No, I mean, through the doors.

5 people need to be 5 different places, none of them here.

Can we just take 5 seconds to appreciate how awful that was.

Oil running out.

You’re not supposed to pour hot oil down the drain.
Really? That’s what L[] always said, but she would open the microwave door without stopping it first.
Oh, then what does she know?

Darkness into heat, wood into fire, time into space.

I was this close to impulse buying a space heater.

Saw Benjamin Button. The non-symmetry of the second half, which does not reflct the pacing of the first half, does disrupt the theme, but nevertheless the film does adequately explore the independencies of the time and relationship axes. Interestingly, the unprecedented symbolic use of Katrina, representing the destructive storm underlying time, feels much more raw than the senseless WW1 casualties it parallels.

Read the Raw Shark Texts: parts Myst, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Matrix, Name of the Rose, Jaws. Aside from being fascinating, it personally raises so many questions answers are already know to.

Why a book is unread so long.
Why panic at archive crash.
Why must tell the story.
Why happened at 16.
Why not over her.
Why not swim.
Why a cat.
Why lie.
Why.

The chance of rain and the necessity of doing laundry are directly related.

A most ghetto Chanukkah.

The secret to surviving excursions on numbingly cold days is Teavana.

I hate driving tests. Why isn’t life like baseball? If you get thrown enough bad pitches, you get to go to first anyway.
Um, driving tests are like baseball: if you fail enough, you get to walk.

Try to go again.

Another hiatus, another SI single.

“I am understand with occasional difficulty.”

In the future, some poor student translating will, being confused by the term air conditioning, try to translate it literally, only to be rebuked by their teacher for missing the note on the text explaining that the phrase idiomatically denotes cooling.

“I find it kind of funny / I find it kind of sad…”
I leave bed one transcendent sleepless night…
“…Worn out places, worn out faces…”
Cut off from the world…
“…Going nowhere…”
Having read a book…
“…No expression…”
A book not yet published…
“…No tomorrow…”
A testament I pray must be of a friend of a friend…
“…Happy Birthday…”
A story about my life…
“…Sit and listen…”
My story, never told…
“…No one knew me…”
My life, never lived…
“…Look right through me…”
Mad.
“…I find it hard to tell you / I find it hard to take…”

“Like a virgin / Touched for the very first time…”

One can only reveal to someone that one is not a virgin once.

“11) Sex is a good way to cement a place in a relationship and make it serious.”
Agree. But, I mean, I’d also agree that it’s a bad way to cement a place in a relationship and make it serious.

A pocket full of lie: Counting out money, setting a dainty dish before the king, the queen’s honey, and roguish overanalysis.

“Sing a song of sixpence…”

Matter is a male mattress.

Nothing to sneeze at.

“Oh yeah / I’ll tell you something / I think you’ll understand…”

Dialogue: Hand, to mouth

I didn't want my reaction to your being honest to be negative, be it critical or fearful or guilt. I wanted some level of: okay, we can do this.

Share: Hand, in hand

That's what I value in physicality. The expression of being wanted, acceptance of wanting, that just doesn't work without awareness or sensitivity.

Comfort: Hand, shake

“…I want to hold your hand…”

Did the apple feel any guilt for the original sin?

Is there goodness in humanity sufficient to not make destructive mistakes? Is there goodness in humanity sufficient to recover from mistakes having been made?

I have made destructive and self-destructive choices to people close to me, despite it not being my intent. And even if wanted and deserved, I can’t in venting my misanthropic rage selfishly prioritze my own emotional want. If I am satisfied by my own behavior, then the rest of the world's is immaterial.

That's what I feel guilt about. He, to not hurt a friend, refrained from you. That same night, I didn't, despite knowing that a friend didn't want me to, the friend being you.

- $
- programs
+ curtain
+ box I'd/monoxide
- singing
+ taking S[]’s suggestion
- changing Canadian parliament to Canada
+ funny
- confusing
+ leap onto the table
- not listening
+ prop DVD/ invisible DVD player
++ Auschwitz
+ B[] not laughing on the backline during M[]’s monologue.
+ shirtless
- rejecting a suggestion
- explaning a joke
- shortform
+ recovering neatly
+ funny
- singing
+ good lines
+ extra game since extra time
- A[]
+ spaghetti arms
+ pizza

(?) is the ultimate in self-doubt, to be unsure whether one is unsure.

Different couch, different shirt, different night, same game.
This will only end badly.

Oh god she’s beautiful. Oh god she’s beautiful. Oh god what is she doing with her leg,

Siberian exile
Spreading the party line
Being a loyalist
Looking the other way
Violent nepotism

Libations of camaraderie, comrades liberated.

It’s red and evil and makes a humorous topical political statement.

Let’s give communism a try, even if it involves giving the shirt off my back.

“Shout, shout, let it all out…”

The summer after my sophomore year I was subletting an apartment on Wash. Ave., and one day I had a fight with my then-best friend and was playing music loudly. The person upstairs came down at the noise, and I felt bad for disturbing her, so I told her that I was just having a bad day, and I'd be quieter. She came back later that evening and left me some extra brownies she had.

Yell as loud as you need.

“‘He was shifty. And, I mean, he was pretending to be shifty- but then he also seemed shifty underneath that.’”

Unsuspending disbelief like a bad horror film

Why is someone listening to me give date advice? Why am I giving good date advice? I sound like I know what I'm talking about: ‘Find something you want to do and do it with her.’

Crashing like the snow.

“Are you having an existential crisis because you gave someone good advice?”
Thanks, that’s a really good way of putting it.

Crazy like a loon.

That quote, even in the context of my life right now, did not seem to make sense.

Shouldn’t should.

“We will meet accidentally / We'll start to talk…”

Run into someone you haven’t seen for years
Get stood up
Sit down
Watch
Office
Drop by work
Go to a store
Go shopping
Buy a DVD
Return a DVD
Buy a book
Do something nice for someone
Get the mess out of your hair
Take a trip
Tell me about your day

Twice over
Cake

“…With a short skirt / And a long jacket…”

“You think you lost your love…”

[jeI] : [jiæ] :: excitement : agreement

“…Yeah, yeah, yeah…”

Subconscious haunt should've
Risen above
Shame proclaiming in name of love
Not her I'm thinking of.

Given infinite time, anything is possible to create; for creation is the act of assembling components, and components are finite. Memory is thus an act of creation; for to remember is to recall existing components. Things forgotten are not permenantly lost, but merely await the rediscovery of their order, confirmed by recognition. But even were time not unlimited, the mind is not perfect. Recognition fades.

I am fortunate for the memories that I have archived, scrawled, typed, in basement storage. Part of me feels that I can never die until the archive is complete. The other part of me feels that completion is only necessary so long as I am alive.

Shoplifting is an extreme activity. Either it is done to the expensive because the cost is too significant, or to the cheap because the cost is insignificant.

Rickrolling jumps the shark on the Macy's Day parade.

Fun will be taken away capriciously. Personal preferences require justification. Sharing is bad. I learned from an early age the penalty of judgmentalism; at a late age that empathy is an acquired skill. The ability to understand how another feels is a closely guarded secret, from which comes the necessity of deceit. For lies are born from both the repeated rationalizations and from the omissions that become learned as necessary.

Memories are composed of thoughts and of sensations. Actual events are replaced by the lessons of what will be done differently next time. I remember how I felt, what I thought. That is what happened.

Can give recompense in food, money, and/or truth.

Quantum of Solace, more a continuation than a sequel, requires comparison to a predecessor. Rather than worry about the dichotomy, it chooses to overwhelming follow the patterns set by Casino Royale. The world it takes place in features morality is reflected by the lack of perfect rejoinders and smooth characters, and poise. The evolution of identity was worth ducking out of work early to see.

“When the other person not only makes you feel insecure but actually seems to want to destroy you, it's obviously the end. The Quantum of Solace stands at zero. You've got to get away to save yourself."

First rule about being a guy: don’t neglect the needs of the girl you’re in bed with.

Always have an exit strategy: flee the state, call in a favor, give a fake name, coopt the innocent. Lay and lie: put things in place.

You seriously believed me? Wow. You believed the we’re-friends-again part too, didn’t you.

Friends will be there when you’re not; invite you to their party; leave their own party to pick you up when stranded; loan you 2 boxers for a brief visit; shake your hand and pull you out; thank you with a kiss, a pineapple, and here’s my phone number; and don’t say hurtful things to each other.

“Say what you need to say…”

It’s miserable to realize that if the past 2 hours had been spent doing laundry instead of at the career center, at least some of my life would have gotten in order. It’s depressing to then spend the next 2 hours failing at the laundry.

Disrobe, lie bare, and let the naked truth be exposed in the bitter cold of the impending winter.

The ditch by the side of the road called. It wants to know where I was last night.

Midnight bacon works most times, but some nights require 10:30 calamari.

Did you already have an American Beauty one started?
No, I’m doing one about squid.
Did you already have a squid one started?

I like whimsy and creativity.
I like nostalgia. So I can be, ‘Hey, it's rabite but pink! Aw, I remember rabite.’.
Yeah, I'm like, ‘Seriously? Killer purple fluffy mushroom? Yeah, you barely eked by with that one the first time around, Squaresoft.’.
It would be neat if real life were like that. Like there's a blonde you somewhere out there, and later on, a pink-haired one.

The Pure Land is the last beautiful place you go to; a lingering beauty in a sea of ugly, where one cannot go back to.

Pyramid, already a clever game, is elegant because the Winner’s Circle round is not merely an exciting bonus round, but a built-up tapering of the prior round. In the earlier round, clues must be given for things in a category to be guessed. In the later round, things must be given for a category to be guessed.

There are 2 types of gameshows: Those I know from GSN, and those I admit to watching.

Sound on, sound off.

I hate November

Everyone is judgmental and lies about it really well.

If someone tells you that honesty is the best policy, they're lying.

Good riddance to hypocrisy.

“Why did you just buy a pint of milk?”
I’m going to a pumpkin party. <pulls out box of pumpkin spice pudding>
“<gapes> Oh.”
You really should know better than to ask me that kind of question.

The proof is in.

Why did we ever even bother with jello.

“Wait, are you asking me to be an antiwingman?”

Even insanity needs a getaway driver.

“…That's the reason you're here, mighty wingman / You're taking one for the team…”

Lack of control is the stamp of nightmare, be it creator unable to control creation or individual at the mercy of an inevitable higher power.

Veterans.

1) Overcharging students
2) Putting subliminal messages in endcap signs
3) That obnoxious buyback woman who sighs, and whines about everything, and demands to speak to someone about how outrageous it is that we aren't giving her more money, and just has a thoroughly unpleasant attitude- every single semester
4) The poltergeist in the Architecture section that always messes up the books there no matter how often you straighten
5) Destroying books and magazines in front of customers
6) ActiveDirectory
7) Finding invoices
8) Plotting to annex GM, enslave their workers, pillage their merchandise
9) Nibbling on candy, then putting it back so no one notices
10) Slack-off-Sundays
11) Getting M[] in trouble

Passa recaptiva.
“Crazy” (in love), which is
Girlstruck repeating the
Same hope, becomes

Synonymetric’ly
“Insanity”, which is
Somehow expecting some
Diff’rent outcomes.

Get off, unwrought romance
That won’t advance
Past passed reflection, nor’ll entrance
By chance of second chance.

So Rent is 3 Musketeers?
But the question is, what’s the Snickers?
Fight Club?
No, Fight Club’s the Milky Way. Snickers is Candy.

Candy is not even mostly a drug. It’s a relationship, albeit just as addictive.

Heaven is being together and happy.
Earth is being together and miserable.
Hell is being apart because you’ve realized that you can’t be happy together.

I can’t take vitamins seriously.

Closer to home: going in circles but seeing straight.

“We've been waiting all our lives / For things we've always had…”

I woke up this morning someplace new. The sun was shining. I reached for my glasses. The right side was broken; it had broken sometime last night.

“…But have no eyes to see…”

A beautiful woman appeared before me, telling me how I got here and what had happened; and apologizing for how she couldn’t stay and how she had things she needed to go do now.

“…Something new is going to happen / The most natural thing / But nothing we'd expect…”

There was a note above me:
“Obama is President.
(Feel free to sleep here)”

“…All these buildings and mountains…”

[Feed the starving pollworkers! Anyone willing to bring food to Glenridge Elementary can earn serious awesome points.]

No one even has a pro-McCain argument any more. The best they can do is anti-Obama.

The tragedy of this campaign is how greatest strengths are greatest weaknesses.
The salvation of this election is how greatest weaknesses are greatest strengths.

“Yes we can…”

Rachel Getting Married is a paean to Stoicism.

I called non-emergency police about kid, gave Calypso fresh water/food/litter, sent an e-mail that A[] will think I'm crazy for, and am getting breakfast with you in the morning. I think that's a good a place as any to call it a night.

It’s been a long night.
It’s going to be a long November.

Of Thee I Sing: 148 lamb chops, a bridge joke, and the best darned corn muffins you ever ate. Really, that’s all I need.

I’m a Stoic/I’m not a Stoic
Didn’t find what I needed/Got what I wanted
Carried away should be/Never get carried away should be

Pirates vs. Caesar, the Republic in the balance. Go over a bridge, through a wall, from fire to ice, turn neither left nor right, out the passenger door in the left turn lane, say hello, say goodbye, explain tomorrow, live for the chaos wherever/wear-ever/we’re ever chance might take.

“And the highwayman came riding, riding, riding…”

The annoying thing about translating Greek poetry is that it has too many nouns whose nuance is struggled to be found until the professor reveals that, actually, it’s a name, so that you hate that person for having a stupid name, but with them already being so dead that you're translating their funerary epigraph, what can you do.

The dreams of happiness? The dreams of sweet?
The dreams of some creature named Felix.

You have a Voice. I like that.
Easiest assignment ever- took zero time. Woke up, printed xanga entry, handed in.
It's weird just how much of English class is teachers trying to drum voice out of you. Then you get to the real world and discover that the trick is to find yourself.

1st: italics
2nd: bold
3rd: quoted

My voice doesn’t say whom.

Anti-Turing Test
Whether a computer can correctly determine whether a message has been automatically generated by a computer or composed by a human.

You are a great writer, even if google does think you're a robot.

The problem with shopping at Target is that they have many of what one wants but little of what one is looking for.

Ob’ession

I am very good at writing very bad poetry.

Blue daffodils of silence in a field of crimson drear’,
Virgil, attest to
Nothing
And turn to mine lonely voided plate, 'pon which lay
A thought
Of
The salmon roll, with ricelets hung dropped from seaweed sheath
Askew in throat, wherein the missing plaint,
“O Featherbottom! Hamilton! Virgil! Four!”
Ricochet back down my trachea-“Sir Piddlesworth Uppington Smythe, please pass the wasabi.”

Facebook RSVPing is a protocol dependent on interpersonal relationships as much as on projected attendance.

Breakfast: cereal
Lunch: bagel, yogurt
Dinner: eggs, toast, fruit
Midnight: bacon

“Can never have too much bacon.”

“Millennium…”

It’s amazing how little and how much of the world can change from one glimpse to the next.
(The best I’ve found is Paris Hilton.)

“…We all enjoy the madness ‘cause we know we're gonna fade away…”

She has mastered the fine art of jumping into boxes she cannot jump out of.

Unemerging.

Jump is an overstatement. More like, climb onto the chair next to, and fall down from. It’s adorably awkward in a what-am-I-going-to-do-with-you kind of way.

Searching for meaning in an Oliver Stone movie about George W. Bush should only be done for the sake of rampant overanalysis. The film has a focus-losing hodgepodge that it more amusing for the real-life moments it recalls than for what is actually presented on screen. The film seems to lack any other artistic or thematic purpose until perhaps the final scene, revealing that George W. Bush isn’t a tragic figure at all. For, while the film does explore the myriad of options, he lacks a tragic flaw; thus, it’s instead a farce.

Everyone needs to do something crazyspontaneous over Fall Break at least once.
Everyone needs to sleep through their flight departure at least once.

I’m going to be horizontal now.

There is no problem with delving into illogic and abandoning whatever point was actually supposed to be argued, if there is the opportunity to establish something tangential more aesthetic, be it an admission of the acceptability of lying, or simply an ironic statement regarding the divine.

When the urge to *run* without regard to destination is felt, there are 3 kinds of places to flee to:
1) To a generic location.
2) To a foreign culture.
3) As far away as possible.

Essentially: Columbus, Madrid, New Zealand.

[This list could include the base case: 0) Out of sight, which corresponds to Inside.]

Presidential debate could use a little less accusative and a little more ablative.

Cats operate on a logic, their own.

How geos?
I'm writing an autobiography. I started yesterday.
Oh?! That's awesome. Don't forget the part where mom and dad adopted you from a moose farm.
I'm old enough to finally know?
I guess so, yes.
How geos with you?
I'm applying to culinary school.
Don't forget the part where mom and dad taught you how to grill moose.
Oh, they told you that was moose? It was your second brother. They didn't like him much.
He needed more salt.
I agree. Maybe some curry?

Thai together.

“What’s the difference between green curry and red curry?”
“You could ask the waitress.”
That’s one option. Or, you could go out, get an iPhone, and look it up online.

Contemplating days, dates, and the difference between.

I’m too old for this.

Tears pour out: torn until
The heart lies still
I grieve, for by your leave I will
Know what it’s like to kill.

The wonder of the Internet’s time-wasting potential is encapsulated in an Office throwaway joke about a youtube video involving Cookie Monster singing Chocolate Rain.

When humanity fails, at least we'll have theoretical physics.
“Some have skipped humanity entirely to move straight to theoretical physics.”

If you’re going to die in the upcoming year, you probably shouldn’t starve your immune system for a day.

Server service.

It is a good day when you can get free food, broker free food, and receive free food in commission. Especially when it involves pepperoni, lamb, and $2 bills.

What’s surprising isn’t that a vomit party is needed, it’s how many people need it.

Flash of Genius switches between 3 different genres, almost abruptly: documentary, psychological drama, and legal thriller. The ending is depressing in how it doesn’t deviate from what one would ordinarily expect, but it does reinforce the everyman quality of its hero/the prototypical inventor. The film is not without irony, that the subject’s popular recognition will come not only posthumously, but without his control.

“These foolish games…”

Logic, puzzles, overanalysis, indecision.

“…You were always crazy like that…”

Ruing, my new reply
Will be that I
Plead: I need you to explain why
We cannot again try.

“It's all been done before…”

This election needed to be between past and future, not between political parties. Unfortunately, both futures won their primaries; post-convention, the conflict is dominated by the past. Whoever wins will owe their victory to what they should have been fighting against.

There needs to be debate, but instead rich DC middleaged/oldfolk sit around a table after the feast, in candlelit darkness with the power out, arguing about what went wrong. There is the tragedy of our era. It’s not that things are changing; it’s that things have, and none of who need to realize do.

I’ve already recovered my key. All I can do is watch nostalgically as a 1-term inexperienced governor and a loquacious senator come to town.

[profile temporarily utilized for space]
“…I met a girl who sang the blues / And I asked her for some happy news / But she just smiled and turned away…”

I chose between true and love, and not only was it not my choice, not only didn’t I make it, but I chose wrong. I erred more than can be explained, and probably more than I can ever hope to be forgiven for. The realization of the flaws behind the tragedy doesn’t help the character who still feels the pain of having taken something alive and felt the life squeezed away.

“…I went down to the sacred store / Where I’d heard the music years before / But the man there said the music wouldn’t play…”

I have never been ambitious, content to merely do as I do and let things proceed as they proceed. Stoicism may be a trap, but it is a pleasant one; for there I had everything I ever wanted: lost, found, and regained- everything save time. And does one say to the victorious de Leon, but now what?

“…But not a word was spoken…”

Goodbye, truth: you are a glorious incarnation, but I am not yours, and weren’t ever. I tell people I’m a pathological liar. They still don’t believe me.

“…The three men I admire most…”

I am 3 people: who I was, who I became, and who I will be.

“…Bye-bye, Miss American Pie... ”

[profile temporarily utilized for space]
“…Helter-skelter in a summer swelter / The birds flew off…”

Out of the nest, into the air, and how sweet the whirlwind is in which my wings will spread.

“…We all got up to dance / Oh, but we never got the chance... ”

It will never be perfect, but I will show up and see what happens. Why not try; at the very least, I will have fun.

“…There we were all in one place / A generation lost…”

And I will get to share it. I will need you to know how sorry I am for what happened. How much I owe you, how much I promised myself, more than will genuinely be said. The guilt over how I chose my own insanity instead of supporting you is not something I think I will forgive myself for. My consolation will be in how you are a stronger person than I am, was, or will be.

“…With no time left to start again…”

With already everything I wanted, what will I go to? No matter what I find, what I will have left will have changed by the time I return. Yet I will go anyhow. With so much to do, and unable to go back, I will only close my eyes and run, and hopefully push through before out of air.

“…My hands were clenched in fists of rage…”

Friendship is a valuable commodity, to give trust that will allow one to trust, to grasp another’s hand in one’s own, and thereby will be led where one could not go alone. The right word will make truth beauty; the wrong word will reveal ugliness.

Friendship is a terrible power, especially for those who will not respect it.

“…Bye-bye, Miss American Pie... ”

[profile temporarily utilized for space]
“…Now for 10 years we’ve been on our own…”

One Monday in September everything changes.

“…A voice that came from you and me…”

My greatest fear is that the same thing that happened to me would happen to you, that as I crashed you would fall.

The fear is unfounded. You are strong, stronger than I am.

“…The courtroom was adjourned…”

I can’t go back. Independence is always important, but now it is everything I could have. I shun what I cannot do, until I only need what I can.

“…No verdict was returned…”

I’m still not completely sure what caused the beginning, nor the end. I’m honestly not sure what help you were. But for trying most genuinely, I thank you.

“…And we sang dirges in the dark…”

No one else can understand, no one else can hear. Mourning for a lost life leads to lyrics of madness. There is finally found independence- but the price is isolation.

“…Bye-bye, Miss American Pie... ”

[profile temporarily utilized for space]
“A long, long time ago / I can still remember / How that music used to make me smile…”

Once I lived a life and heard a song, and kept coming back to where I had been captivated by it. I learned its lyrics and taught them, finding meaning and poetry, and hidden meaning, and discovery, and a clever crescendo, epic and grand and unique. I found harmony, and it was pleasing.

“…I knew if I had my chance / That I could make those people dance…”

Ideas brewed in my head. I had a story to tell, but I didn’t yet understand it. In the meantime, characters and stories evolved without my control. Laslo Bleem was born.

“…I couldn’t take one more step…”

I had what I wanted, I was who I wanted, I did what I wanted. I had found my limit, within which things were perfect, and I was rising, like the sea seen arising endlessly over an endless horizon.

“…I can’t remember if I cried…”

I regretted the elm tree I didn’t climb, the roads not wandered, the heartfelt missive whose reply came after the moment passed. When did numbness cease, and pain awaken?

“…Well, I know that you’re in love…”

I once knew a girl who had flowing blonde hair and a light lilting laugh, who read Calvin & Hobbes, spoke Latin, sang Lobachevsky, appreciated poetry; who constructed abstract sculptures from discarded disks, who perched on rooftops, who ran in the autumn rain; who named herself after a Greek letter and a mathematical constant. She was Phi, she was perfect.

I never had a chance with her. I never will.

“…Bye-bye, Miss American Pie...”

“I was convinced an Obama/McCain campaign would be measurably different on almost all standards. And to watch it become Bush/Kerry, Bush/Gore, has been one of the most dissatisfying experiences.”
“That means it's not an Obama/McCain campaign. It's a Guys Who Work for Bush/Guys Who Work for Kerry campaign.”

The hardest part of any party is the planning.

“Partisan politics saps all the productivity out of debate.”
Partisan politics saps all the productivity out of production.

I’m not sure whether I’m looking for a campaign or a 1-shot.

Tigerlings!

“Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships.”

The question is not whether you would prefer I assent to your idea or say what I honestly feel, but what I do.

“Is it emotionally dishonest to then, instead of speaking, say nothing at all?”
“The cruelest lies are often told in silence.”

“Call earlier. People are worse negotiators when they’re asleep.”

The question is not whether I assent to your idea or say what I honestly feel, but which you would prefer.

Basking.

“Strumming my pain…”

Some things are bitter, fomenting up what surprisingly should have been expected, with a resonating distaste being brewed.

“…I heard he had a style / And so I came to see him to listen…”

Some things are sweet, heralding a day and a year and a lifetime in which a resonating joy can be exquisitely basked in, with sparkling eyes, akin minds, and a cool breeze on the cusp of summer and autumn.

“…Telling my whole life with his words…”

I need you to know this, that I know how special you are, that I trust you more than anyone else, more than I deserve. It’s not just that you’ve grown up; it’s that you enabled me to.

“…You guys sound great, awesome…”

Forcing the switch to new may indicate that facebook has lost touch with its audience, but at least they speak the same language.

“If ye got somethin' to say, stand fast and speak!”

The strategy with indecision is to be not making the most informed decision possible.

I just voted to register.

Making plans makes me nauseated.

“Most people were either “aah I hate storms” or “yay I like storms” or “I lived in Michigan”.”

Case by case.

“I wasn’t with her.”
There are ablatives, and ablatives.

“There seems to be some subtext.”
There is always subtext. And it’s always lava.
“The floor is lava. The floor is lava.”
<jumps off carpet>

As obvious as the reason why one double coffeeshops.

<climbs up banisters>
<leaps over railings>
I needed that exhilaration.

You remember the drug dealer from last summer? I figured out what his number is. Also, are there a pair of glasses there?

Cat as cat can: 1 forward, 2 back.

“My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why / I got out…”

Appreciation is the presence of an absence of a presence. It acknowledges that something is done which might not be done, something which another might not do, something that need not be acknowledged but is. For everyone has a choice for how they spend their time. The thankless task gets done because the doer enjoys it, not because of any degree of gratitude. It should be enough to receive satisfaction from oneself, from how the time was used; but when instead dissatisfaction turns to despair, with time not being spent how one would want, there can be a restoration by merely not not doing something.

“…And I want to thank you…”

Online, this time, proceed:
Her saying she’d
Allay pushed ‘way ‘motions’ misdeed
I did, is what I need.

        
           

You can have the scratching post. Our cats were too dumb to use it.
It could be a very smart scratching post.

There will be another opportunity; wisdom is realizing it.

Either you do already know or they’re wrong.

Say what needs to be said.

“I already know this story and it’s still TMI.”

N degrees of knowing what you’re talking about.

Shoplifters are ugly people.

Last chance. You want to just go barhopping instead?
“Yes. Stripbarhopping. But I don’t have any singles.”
I’m prepared. <pulls out wad of $2 bills>

Twice the fun.

“Syncretism. It’s a good Hellenistic method.”
Actually, it’s a good Roman method. Because it’s a good Hellenistic method.

One dei’s as good as another.

It shouldn’t be this hard to get from Act 1 to 2.
Make it start.
Make it stop.

This is a bad week to be one of my appliances which beeps when it’s not working right.

There’s more than one way to have a 3-day Labor Day weekend.

In a previous Away Message, I explained my use of third person plural for indefinite singulars. Let third person singular also be used alternatively; as the gendered pronoun in place of a neuter indicates familiarity, so let a neuter used in place of a gendered indicates a diminutive.

In the instance of animals, the third singular has ambiguity: an animal has natural gender, but lacks the type of linguistic sentience which allows first or second singular forms without anthropomorphizing. Thus,, let the third singular neuter be used.

A neutered pet is just a double coincidence.

We’re going to get along quite well.

I’ll just animal shelter or see if anyone has any friends with cats. Actually, do you have any friends?
Um… with cats?

My rest has been unstressful, but it is time to push for recommence of my journey. But there departure is not immediate; until then, let there be time to dally with a Calypso.

We just bought cats the way we bought pants.

Get-together at my place 6pm, Improvised Shakespeare 8pm at Graham Chapel. Come for either or both.

We’re getting these, aren’t we?

Just want I always wanted, with vanilla bean cupcakes.

We’re getting these.

Restless.

Orange rolls, orange rolls, and rolling oranges.

Once when I was little, eating at CPK, I wanted an ice cream sundae for dessert. My parents consented, provided I shared it with my father. I agreed, only to discover that I was left only the dregs of hot fudge, with my father taking his portion first, claiming nearly all of the ice cream. The traumatic experience taught me early on how difficult sharing can be.

Sharing is still difficult.

The problem is that I’m in a mood where I want to talk less and do more.

Just a spectator.

He’s a tragic figure stuck in a comedy.

It was an on-again-off-again-on-again-off-again-on-again-off-again relationship.

An exit strategy isn’t needed if there’s never been entrance.

“More like in-again-out-again-in-again-out-again-in-again-out-again.”

“I bought a toothbrush…”

Toe the line.

“…At my bedside empty pocket, a foot without a sock…”

Fleeing, being confused
Inside your room,
I forgo echoing command to
Just tell me what to do.

“How many times have I done this…”

No poker, events full, a dearth of free stuff- but GenCon was nevertheless full of nothing but fun times. It’s not what you do, but who you do it with.

“…Ooh, solitude / Forever me and forever you…”

What were Jennifer Connelly’s parents thinking?

“Try it? A little nip. You won’t go to hell.”
Now try it with a straight face.

One day I’ll be able to call it the DUC with a straight face. Today, however, I can only go to Indiana.

One day I hope to find someone to who I can say, I’m lazy.

Insomnia vs. nausea

Things I will do to avoid doing laundry
2 weeks of NYTimes crosswords
Dust
Proselytize $2 bills
Index card dentistry
Not kill a fish
Enjoy some very nice August evenings on the Loop
Install Windows Vista

(Procrastination is trickier without Internet, but one way or the other it should be over soon.)

“I really wish I could talk to trees.”
You really wish trees could talk to you, I think.

Talking while I still can; expecting Internet to die any moment now.

Hanging myself with cable. Despite empty promises otherwise, it will not be installed until a week after current connection is terminated. Should have limited access, but cell to contact until then.

Vengeance is a resource.

See Spot. See Spot get bitten to death by a disarticulated snake head.

Everyone should have a completely useless skill which they are superlative at.

When I was little, being fascinated by calendars, I was able to recognize a month’s general pattern (starting on day X with Z days) as being identical to month M of year Y.

This is the type of skill whose acquiring is too dependent on the wonder of childhood; not knowing what is and isn’t important to be learned, the forming brain learns to instinctively be able to recognize certain combinations. Certainly the smaller set of existing months aids, but growing older, it is less learning and more memorization.

Now I’m not even sure what year it is.

Thanksgiving : Christmas :: Tax-free : Rush

Some days you don’t get free frozen custard. Some days you get a free cookie instead.

Some days you get a free cupcake. Some days you have to steal another cupcake to pay someone back because they stole you a free cookie.

Some days you fall in love. Some days unrequited love of one is rewarded by requited love of another.

Some days the hours never last long enough. Some days the hours never come soon enough.

Some days they won’t let you back. Some days the lobster dies.

“…You can’t always get what you want…”

Sometimes, on Wednesday evenings, I would go to the Women's Building... and we'd talk.

We’ll be right back after this lobster.

We understand each other in a way you never could! We both watch Lost, both are Jewish, both lived in Umrath, both did W-S Wednesday afternoons, both hosted sleepovers, both secretly dated a troupemate half a semester younger, both started off freshman year so pure and innocent that we didn't even drink and then got progressively more evil with every passing semester...

Cashing out.

I made the switch. I gave up my $1 bills and switched to $2s.

META

How's your evening? Or alternatively, your ears?
“Not wet. Thinking about this band; they sound a little too country for me, though.”
Err on the side of not-listening-to-country. Your non-wet ears will thank you.

Saw Dark Knight. With Heath Ledger’s tragic real-life death, the Joker receives more attention than it might otherwise, but with the character of Two-Face also: the film is about the tragedy of villainry more than heroism.

I tend to like things I like.

I love it when you’re shameless.

Almost as good when I defined avuncular to someone asking what it meant after I used it in a sentence just before it popped up in the quiz, was when freerice defined playa=beach.

I may be a sellout, but I’m not an evil sellout.

Field of Dreams?
“Good movie.”
Just checking. It gets a lot of hate.
“Because of all the fantasy and fluff, I think?”
Because of Kevin Costner, I think. Even so, broken clock, twice a day. <pause> Eh, that’s not very fair.
“Yeah, he was good in Dances With Wolves.”
Broken clock, *twice* a day.

While I appreciate a hidden order to the universe, I don’t think that biorhythms would be satisfactory for me. Periodic cycles are too logical; subtraction from birth too simple. The process by which biorhythms would work does appeals: looking for coincidence of 3 factors, and applying that to events. However, I have found too much symbolism to constrain an order to only 3 factors.

No vacancy.

“1) If you could change one life-changing event in the life of someone important to you, would you?
2) Which do you think is easier to do: be friends for many years, or be life partners for many years?
3) Have you ever walked away from someone you considered a friend?
4) If you had to choose between telling the truth and hurting a friend or lying and making them happy, which would you choose?
5) Which would you rather hear: a truth which will hurt, or a comforting lie?”

The relationship is what we make it.

We each need the other to be comfortable to be comfortable.
“On the count of 3, let's both be comfortable, okay?”

9:06 wake up before alarm
9:11 be invited to Cardinals game
12:25: accidentally take workphone on lunch
1:15 have a rude customer overhear you unprofessionally talking about them
1:16 take a break
1:31 mail a letter to ex-gf
2:00 receive mentoring from Dr. Cox’s cousin
3:02 receive free tickets to a comedy show
3:18 help an undeserving customer
3:58 help a clueless customer
4:49 help a customer despite technical difficulties
5:32 help appreciative customer
7:36 arrive in the 2nd inning
7:55 crave pizza
8:00 find toasted ravioli, Asian Stir Fry, and quesadillas- but no pizza.
8:05 crave toasted ravioli
8:10 find pizza, but no toasted ravioli
8:15 just get nachos instead
9:00 leave in the 6th inning
9:18 talk about customers on the walk back
9:19 be approached by appreciative customer
9:20 have date try to set you up with appreciative customer
9:45 start telling about day
11:37 finish telling about day
11:38 realize that it’s not over yet

“I think sometimes there are perfectly normal-seeming days where we wake up one person and go to bed another.”
I really wish go to bed could take a second object there. I guess it can, like a future form to to bed, meaning to seduce. It's too profound a statement to not have clever wordplay.

It should eventually get there.

“A quick swoop in to mention K[] just enough to agitate me (if I were as easily agitated as she last recalls me) and then Oh Whoops I Have To Go To Bed.”
<payoff on the syntax joke>

It has the hindquarters of a goat, the forequarters of a lion, dragon wings, 3 heads, and a degree in anthropology. It enjoys long walks on the beach, non-smokers, and is chaotic evil.

Free Ted Drewes makes a day that much better.

“I like the aesthetic of it even beyond its prank value”
I like the aesthetic of it because of its prank value.

Punchline

Did you send it to Z[], or did he send it to you?
“I saw it first.”
The correct answer was, we sent it to each other simultaneously. That's okay, we'll practice. You'll get it next time.

Find a theory to fit the evidence.

Item: a box of 3 condoms
1) Of a type sold at the bookstore.
2) The box was empty.
3) The box was sealed.

Location: on top of a stack of notebooks
4) On the opposite side of the store from where condoms are kept.
5) The notebooks were behind a shoulder-high display which blocked sight from the customer service desk.

Time: Saturday afternoon
6) After the last night of an ArtSci weekend.
7) During intersession.

Miscellaneous: 8) Condoms are distributed for free in the dorms.

“han”
…shot first?
…gover?
…d over the key to the safe, and nobody gets hurt?
…kering for some biscuits?
…ukkah coincides with Christmas this year?
…dcuff me, officer; I've been a very bad girl?

“I don't believe in your dreams giving you meaning and insight you don't already know.”
You're talking to one who likes hidden order as well as crypticness.
“Yeah, you and the other INTP I used to know. We had *so* many arguments about dream interpretation. But she is a bitch and can't even put on a swimsuit top the right way. So I win this argument.”

There’s more than 1 way to wear a bikini.

I probably can't put on a swimsuit top the right way either.
“You don't know how to put on a swimsuit top.”
Right. Therefore I'm going to lose this argument.

Brick by brick

Things aren’t changing. Foremost, I am not moving. For that I have obtained many new things, prominent among which is a computer, the requited Eco. Which, being without novelty, continues Away Messages just when I ready refreshed self-discovery. So, appropriately enough, it is time for familiarity.

Youtube is my napster.

Elegant Exception
The only time it might be appropriate to use the word elegant in describing a woman one is interested in is if she is a pianist.

I was thinking, you could tell them I got AIDS. And then they’ll ask how, and you can say from my gf. And then they’ll ask if they can see a picture of her, and you can be, well, actually…
I just said that you ran over a dog.
Yeah, that works too.

With my steps retracted to the point of despair, SludgeFest ‘08 had a happier ending- realizing my camera was missing, I am able to find it intact before further rain where I had unwittingly dropped it in the mud.

“Is this the place that I've been dreaming of…”

Umrath and destruction.

“…Oh simple thing, where have you gone…”

“Who remembers when it all began…”

Orange has become fully ingrained in fashion, foreshadowed by last year in Italy and prior avant garde individuality. With the world painted through no effort of my own, what need I to do; what *am* I to do? And yet, gratifyingly, with the world tending to itself, in a place where it was 2500 years ago, there is actually internal optimism.

“…Before the whole world was in our hands / Out here in no man's land…”

Astronomy
Bathing
Clue
Driving
Enemies
Fluorescent lights
Gemstones
Hugs
Indigo
Jeopardy
Kaleidoscope
Love
Mazes
Newspaper
Obama
Pasta
Quotations
Russian Roulette
Soap Operas
Time travel
Utilitarianism
Virginity
Waffles
Xerox machines
Youth
Zero

It’s easier to say 26 things than 1.

Even at the novel’s beginning, the character I most hated was the narrator, being not Stoically objective enough. It is the Greek Chorus, delivering a letter and bringing news and sharing common observations; wanting to be the star, it must settle for directing. “Atonement” is not its story, no matter how much it wants it to be.

Unreliability of witnesses adds a new dimension: is better to lie, or to tell something that seems to be true from one's perspective but isn't. Having lied, for what reason should truth later be told? The WW2 flight (with the scenestealing Nettle and Mace) is laced with lying to survive, although ironically as it turns out.

Even though I have seen it before elsewhere (Odyssey, Eco, Scrubs, myself), the conceit is good to see again.

(Sorry it took so long.)

There is something grand about the elegant process by which single becomes plural, especially with shiny machines full of options, colors, and a glorious efficient speed. Even tending to a jammed machine is a talent, with such satisfaction when one can cancel a call to the paramedics because of CPR performed.

Shredding, however, I despise. If copying is creation, shredding is destruction, a violent process cynically testifying to misanthropy, opting for ruin over recycling.

Every job I have had has involved copy machines in some way, to my delight, would that this streak continue to repeat.

Every Friday.

“I’m only happy when it rains…”

“Would you like me to make a list of all the people who don't like you?”

I’m somewhat surprised, trying to list pet peeves, how few actions I loathe.

Do you know who his daughter is?
Rashida Jones?
Yeah!
You totally did not expect me to get that.
No!

Did you see M[]’s desk?
“The Swedish fish?”
Yeah. Did you see the note?
“Note?”
It explained how I was inspired by the sea lion show, and figured we could use some positive reinforcement whenever we shelve a cart, or find an invoice, or balance a ball on our nose.
“I’ve already had 8.”
Then I guess you’re really good at balancing balls on your nose. <pause> I didn’t even mean that.

“He said, “Reese’s Pieces, Swedish Fish…”

The Platonic Ideal of a Fish is Swedish.

While watching the sea lion show, I realized that what Trade really could use is more positive reinforcement. So, you can give us one of these now, whenever one of us files an inovoice, or shelves a cart, or balances a ball on our nose.

What happened to Pythagoras?

Go fourth and conquer.

No, I really hate that guy.

Pasta types should not be blended.

It’s a combination of customer service and protect the country.

“Are you a terrorist?”
What type of answer are you expecting?

“Cheeseburger in Paradise: I think it is *actually* about cheeseburgers. It is the one song that is not about love *or* drugs that I have encountered. Prove me wrong.”
Thermonuclear war is a big third category.
“Name me a couple about that.”
99 Luftballoons, We Didn't Start the Fire.

Sex, drugs, and rock & roll.

“Is Forever Young about drugs or sex?”
Thermonuclear war.
“I guess that makes sense. Maybe.”
I'm not even kidding. I would have said thermonuclear war no matter what song you mentioned. But, it is.

“It knows its lines / It’s well rehearsed…”

Discovering that a song that I enjoy is really about drugs, in a how-did-I-not-see-that-before kind of way, keeps me up at night.

“…Dream on…”

“Everytime that I look in the mirror…”
Dreaming of someone who’s dreaming of me.
“…The past is gone…”
Dreaming of someone who’s dreaming of who I’m dreaming of.
“…Got to lose to know how to win…”
Dreaming of someone who’s dreaming of who I dreamt of.
“…All the things come back…”
Dreaming of someone who I dreamt of.
“…Dream on…”

Loyalty is stronger than obligation. Ideals are bigger than people. Self-identity cannot be constrained by others; it bursts out in a battle of defiance, with the caliber of strength usually reserved for mid-epic digressions. Someone else can point out aesthetic, but it can only be recognized as a means and an end. Questions get asked, games get played. No matter what democracy tries to do, the Constitution will remain.

Deep down I think I might be an optimist.

<smiles>

“A working class hero is something to be…”

I play scrabble like I play poker.

Photo finish.

Borrowed time.

Although not without exception, the lack of prominence of the u-sound in girls’ names does indicate why this antieuphonic sound is so common among names used in past generations but not now.

The best thing about half a bottle of vodka is that it comes in 2-packs.

Euclidean : Non-Euclidean :: Optimism : Pessimism

(Corollary: the more complex it gets, the more pessimistic it becomes.)

“After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts…”

A boat falls on a minotaur and orc. A manticore applauds.

Paging over the store intercom.
Hiding from tornadoes.
Calling the paramedics.
Ordering pizza to be delivered.
Evaluating employees.
Collapsing bookshelf.

Ring up the insanity.

Saw Indiana Jones 4. The need for a decent name for this decade is even more necessary, with a movie revealing how the this decade would see the 50s are shown by the 80s viewing the 30s. The movie itself was pleasantly enjoyable, particularly the second half, when it was no longer necessary to repeatedly establish that, yes, Harrison Ford is old.

Rant or banter.

It’s like sex- it's for pleasure and you need a good partner.

“Vote Hillary, because a deaf god ignores our pleas.”

Doing anything to win won’t.

There is a bijective isomorphism between my college life and my Away Messages.

I think I might be so unstressed I’m not sleeping well.

Sociopaths usually are more decent liars than this.

After hiatus, doubled in the SI, although my best entry did got regretfully edited to be less cryptic. Though I had a lot of rejecteds which nevertheless quite amused me.

$0$ + I See Debt, People = $.06
MARC Train + Fast Listening = Lent Me Your Ears
The Scarlet Pimp + Letter of the Law = Red E Whore Not
Bugs Stops Here + Hamburger Hamlet = Fuddruckers
Oh, He's Only 71 + There Will Be Bud = Older And Weiser
Lucky Human's Foot + Best in Shoe = Cinderella
Perm und Drang + Who Framed Roger = Bad Hare Day
What Goes Around + Cut and Run = Belt Buckle
Acid Trip + AZ the World Turns = pHoenix
Samuel Longhorn + Text Mex = Samuel TildeN
Bullshirt + Hits the Fan = 3ShirtsToTheWind
Tyger Tyger + $0$ = Fearful Symmetry
Potter's Weal + There Will Be Bud = Medicinal Use Only
Hoss's Ass + ReplyHazy TryAgain = Behind The 8 Ball
Ponderosé + Pants on Fire = Peterosé

Comedic drama has many words to describe its various forms: farce, parody, sketch, etc. But there is no variety to identify a nuance of tragedy, no diminutive term to denote a slight one. Therefore, if one comes across what might be a little bit of such, it is best to not stare too closely, to circle around warily, to signal an assassin, and- like the Cardinals defeating the Astros 3-2 in unfortunately just over 2 hours- to overcome it swiftly, decisively, and victoriously.

I was intending to commit mail fraud, but it turns out I was stealing something intended for me, which, having the wrong name and address, got misdelivered.

The reason to have someone exist is so that I can IM them to say, Be more like me!

Pending.

[Bowling tonight?]

“Now is the winter of our discontent…”

Fires left burning, parties thrown yesteryear echoing out open lit windows, links to laughter heard once somewhere. Romanticized nostalgia, nostalgic romance. History, a vehicle in motion, in Park.

Day for Memorials, and I have so many here.

“…Made glorious summer…”

Old is new again.

[If anyone is seeing Indiana Jones 4, let me know.]

Maybe it’s because college is over, it’s not so hard any more.
Thai pizza has finally been eaten.

That's the worst kind of illogic. And I don't always disapprove of illogic.

I hate guessing what something might be; I’d rather guess what it mightn't.

I am using a lot of double+ negatives tonight.

“We were having a conversation about boobs, and you perk up at “peeing on my feet”.”
“I have a funny story about that! So, we were at the Olive Garden…”

The problem with cleaning things up is that they just get dirty again.
This is not a problem.

“Orange nipples do not help you escape predators.”

Well I Guess That's All Over With Now

[Tonight, 6pm, 6611 Wash Ave. Apt. 1S. If you’re in STL, show up. Cell if questions. There will be food; I’m thinking gnocchi?]

No baggage.

“Let’s play pretend / Let's act like it comes naturally…”

Well, that’s all over with.

“…Let’s go back to that…”

Okay, now what.

“…I’ll be so much better…”

“Universitas Washingtoniana
Sancti Ludovici
in Civitate Missouriensi
salutem omnibus has litteras lecturis quibus nos infrascripti,
morem exemplumque maiorum secuti
cum doctrinam adeptos tum ipsam doctrinam in comitiis sollemnibus honore augendi,
testamur nos ornavisse…”

[profile temporarily utilized for space]

“…perfectis omnibus quae requiruntur probataque eruditione laudabili,
gradu atque titulo
Artium Baccalaurei
universali cum honore
eique concessisse omnia iura privilegia beneficia huic gradu pertinentia,
in cuius rei testimonio nos pro auctoritate nobis commissa hisce litteris Universitatis sigillo munitis
subscripsimus nomina nostra die XVI mensis Maii anno MMVIII.”

“I am done with college.”
I like to think of it as college is done with me.

Full circle.

Last meal
Pasta e fagioli
Gnocchi in tomato cream sauce
Leg of lamb
Softshell crab
Ricotta cheesecake

I was mingling to pick up an extra dessert and to help convince C[] to go over to the Chancellor’s table and tell him what he thought of the whole Phyllis Schlafly thing. He did…
“Excellent.”
…And I got a second cheesecake.

Ent : not tree :: shepherd : not sheep

This is the type of thing I’m going to miss.

Keep moving.

Bravman’s Razor
All other things being equal, the most complicated solution is best.

I would be more successful if I were having less fun.

I’m not sure which is more wrong: the statement or the definition of successful. At least I know for sure I've gotten something out of college.

1) You're hungry. 2) You're craving a specific food. This isn't a hard one.
“But you're forgetting 3) I'm lazy.”
Okay, I forgive you. Also, this might become an Away Message soon.
“Well make sure to edit it suck that I have proper grammar. Um. Such. Not suck.”
That also might become an Away Message soon.
“I thought you might say that.”
I'll take an easy one.

This might become easy soon.

“I am going to go buy good. Er, food.”
Good for you. Er, food for you.

Epic conclusion

"SUSPICIOUSLY SHAMEFUL"
or
"WHISTLING DIXIE"
a two-act play in one act
adapted for the stage by
DANNY BRAVMAN
for
NO SHAME THEATRE
at
WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY
in
SAINT LOUIS
on
MAY 7, 2008
starring
FIVE GUYS
FIVE GIRLS
and
SATHYA SRIDHARAN

“He speaks in riddles… I do not comprehend!”

“I don’t care if…”

Calendar Quiz

“1. What happened in Philadelphia and London on Tuesday, September 8, 1752?
2. What month did the October Revolution occur in?
3. Why are July and August the same length?
4. You there! What day is this?!”

What the dickens.

The only one of these I had to look up was 4. Tuesday. May 6. I'm not even sure that's right.
“The correct response is "Why today sir? It's Christmas day!"”

what time is it in bloomington
no really.what time is it

“…Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too…”

“Monday morning, hesitate / I can’t get out of bed…”

Jello Theory
You want Jello.
But it takes overnight to set, and you won’t want it in the morning.
And for this reasoning you didn’t make Jello last night.
Therefore, make it tonight, so that when the same thing happens tomorrow night, you won’t not have made it.

“…A box of memories lying…”

It’s never too late for the Jello Theory.

“…It’s too late / to let all your feelings show…”

It’s never too late for Jello.

“…Running out of time tonight…”

It’s never too late.

“…It’s too late…”

Do not watch Lost while feverish.

I got this crazy idea that Matthew Fox was actually Sawyer and Josh Holloway was actually Jack. No, really. Hear me out.

Check plus, mate in, 3.
I need to have taken more classes with Laura Castanon.

“There are spacegoats in my paper.”

Too many pages.

The worst thing about a Chipotle opening a block away is having its Free Burrito Day occurring during Passover.

“In the end…”

Whenever someone says that they are unfamiliar with a given plot, I immediately instinctively inform them that the relevant character dies in the end. (With some obvious exceptions, eg: Memento “they die in the beginning”; Titanic “it sinks”) Mostly this preemptively guards against any accidental blurting of a spoiler I might make. However, it is also remarkable how often it happens to be either true or interesting.

Tonight things end.

“…What it meant to me will eventually be a memory…”

Where the WILD things are.
(Last class -> first WILD, by way of once per semester frisbee.)

“Everybody has to be someplace.”

In a Philadelphia in “The Philadelphia” in Olin 2 at 2pm.

“Everyone like the scene?”
No. Can we do a different one?

Feasting on lambrosia.

(Cena Deorum)

“I woke up with a feeling that something bad was going to happen. Are things good where you are?”

It’s easy to miss something you’re not looking for.

DreamR[] is a very bad driver.
"RealLifeR[] is probably a worse driver."

The advantage of procrastinating cleaning one’s kitchen is that instead of with a pun comparing it to the Iraq War, one can accurately compare it to an earthquake disaster zone.

Inconsistent.

The afikomen could be hidden inside a turducken to ensure that, by the time dinner is finished, the meal is.

"The man is pointing his remote at the tent wall."
It's a rerun.

Most Mysterious Enigma Wrapped in a Riddle

"She's serving chopped up scraps of the tent."
They're leftovers.

Thank you very much; were Suspicious of Whistlers!

That's more than 1 word.

Show up for free food:
Final improv performance, tonight, 8pm, LabSci 300, free.

(Ends the same way it began.)

If I get a koi pond, it will be stocked with 500-pound salmon.

“No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women…”

Just what the Dr ordered.

“…No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark…”

This might be me.

It’s probably for the best that I decided not to use my carefully orchestrated Hugh Laurie-should-play-Cicero tangent.

If I seem incoherent, I am.

But who shall construct an elaborate deathtrap for the constructors of elaborate deathtraps?

Someone’s got to do it.

Nevermind, I think I've answered my own question.
“That’s a problem is search of a solution.”
It’s a solution in search of a problem.

What would happen to the promo CD if its owner were to die, if disposing of promo CDs is illegal?
Therefore, promo CDs cause immortality.

Why reductio ad absurdum, when I can live with it?

I vote not making decisions.

“Caesar can give you money and honor, but he can't make you an orator.”

Will have to wait for Cicero.

Starting a Tuesday at 12:05am really sets the tone for the rest of the day.

“…And we're gonna play it…”

“How was?”
I’ve had better; I’ve had worse.
“That describes all but 2.”

Should fall somewhere.

Somehow it has taken me over 95% of my college life to deliver extra large raw shrimp ordered to the library to be paid for by check or cash. And doing it feels somewhat normal.

Places spin around, people are thrown together. Clocks reset, times fly, hands spread, backs flip. Cards are dealt and on the table. Words rush out, incomprehensible symbols, lines etched in your memory that you’ve never heard before or since. Spread the poison around. The name sounds familiar; it’s like your own only you forgot it. The end is an echo of the beginning, and both are fast approaching from either side. Late to bed, early to rise: nothing to do but dance the night away with friends. There is a plan: there is no plan.

Through a haze of impossible madness a rhythm emerges.

“…Can’t stop raving / I can’t stop raving / I can’t…”

General excel strategy: vigorous rightclicking.

10-30 Rule
f(t) is constant for 10 < t < 30, where f(x) = the consequence of being x minutes late.

Tolkien : history :: Eco : semiotics

He’s the most A[]-like person I know who isn’t A[].
“But didn’t A[]…?”
Well, yes. But A[] is better at being A[] than G[] is.

One of these days I’ll remember why I’m bothering.

The kid has so little subtlety, he actually thinks he's subtle.

Not proud of this one.

A guy goes to a psychiatrist, and says, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies, "It's very simple… you're two tents."

“We welcome your submission and thank you for liking it.”

Libellous.

The basic metrical unit of sketchiness is the peter. However, for everyday purposes, one will be using smaller amounts, such as the millipeter or the centipeter.

“As you set out for Ithaka…”

You set out not for adventure; you had the adventure already; it was called the “Iliad”, and it was 10 years, and is more adventure than most will get ever. Your soul must have Laestrygonians and Cyclops so that when you finally go you can lie about who you are and where you’ve been and what took you so long; wild Poseidon must be invented so that the Muse has some wrath to sing of to justify your absence, dallying in wealth instead of hurrying to an Ithaca now as empty as the experiences you claim you had. Drop your burdening oar when it is finally unrecognized: no one understands except you, and you’re done.

“Odyssey” isn’t the story of a journey. “Odyssey” is the story of Odysseus, and Odysseus is a liar.

“Lumen qui ferimus.
Animos tibi damus.
Antiquum tuum tibi placet.
Hoc spes nostra docet.
Spectant te iuvenes.
O lumen semper des.
Fidem servabimus tibi…”

Eta Sigma Phi

“Is my cheeseburger causing global warming?”

Take another look: paper, papers, act, acts.

Come for the grammar, stay for the ridicule.

“Why would she do that?”
Pleasure; I’m assuming it wasn’t procreative.

There will be Vader.

“I’m finished.”

Every Friday is Good Friday at Fuddruckers. Especially with a beef taco salad and a vanilla shake.

(Suspicious of Whistlers, Presented by Fuddruckers, 8pm tonight, Gargoyle, free improv.)

This year I gave up giving things up for Lent for Lent.

1) The Orbit Gum Girl has a British accent
2) Keira Knightly has a British accent.
3) Keira Knightly is a 34B.
4) A[] is a 34B.
5) I dated A[].
Therefore: I have dated the Orbit Gum Girl QED
"You'd need less deduction if I were blonde."

Illogic is more powerful than logic; it does everything logic can do (for what is more illogical than illogic using logic?) as well as everything logic can’t do.

“But your illogic fails: Keira Knightley is *not* a 34B. She is definitely an A or AA. And I’m currently an 80E."

“I want you to marry me, baby.”
“That's the wrong hand and you have to ask me first.”

Fortuitously paraded, bacchanalianly green.

Unceremoniously empty, consistently preserved.

Prophetically calamitous, betrayingly undeparted.

Constantly irrational, infinitely long.

Having never before been, although from lack of necessity rather than any political point, I, relenting to someone craving a particular flavor of B&J despite every grocery store in the area either not open at 2am or inexplicably unavailable, entered Wal-mart. Even to a sellout, the aura of depression there was undeniable. If I didn’t badly need a toothbrush, I might have resisted the miserable apathy to leave myself the loophole of still at least being able to claim that I’d never bought anything there. Although, for the sheer stupidity of looking for Ben & Jerry’s in a Wal-mart, such shame is fully deserved.

The funny thing is that a third of these adaptations actually seem like they could be worth seeing.

[Precisely which 10/30 is left as an exercise for the reader.]

Figuring out precisely how much sleep is being gotten over break is hard enough without random acts of daylight savings.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Rodent.

I should probably know what gender they are, so that when I buy a replacement after accidentally killing one you don’t figure it out in 3 weeks.

Best live and with people.

Some days all one can do is laugh.
Some days all one should do is laugh.

M[] told me to tell you that you don’t need to worry about it.
“So you were able to reach someone?”
Oh, not at all. You just don’t need to worry about it.

Molecular Theorem
If there is an easy way and a hard way to do something, the easy way won’t work.

Molecular Corollary
The hard way’s not so bad.

Lions are cats.

“Can't you feel the poison rising out of the morning…”

I hate how on a beautiful day not only do I have work, but I don't even have the option anymore of doing it outside.
I also hate how the premidterm productivity I had been engaged in this weekend has been nullified.
I finally hate how the headache for the minor cold which I hadn’t been able to shake is now much worse.

“…Stay inside tonight…”

"It's European History, but with a thesaurus."

Travel the world and the 7th Sea.

“You can spend 5 points for Faith in God. But no one knows what it does.”

C > 1: What if there were an anthropomorphic cat?
C = 1: Now what if it were just a normal cat?
C < 1: Now what if the cat didn't exist?

“I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known…”
Lonely/Alone
“…My shallow heart’s the only thing…”
Trying not to be self-important.
“…Read between the lines…”
Symmetrically transcendental.
“…Where the city sleeps…”
Rest, lest be sick again.
“…Check my vital signs…”
Alone/Lonely
“…'Til then I walk alone…”

The ironic thing about “American Gladiators” is how scripted a show airing because of the Writers Strike is.

Somehow it has taken me almost 95% of my college life to order a pizza delivered to the library to be eaten with friends while doing a problem set. And doing it feels so right.

“C is for cookie…”

Caramel deLites? Sorry, American Samoas are good enough for me.

“…Who cares about the other things…”

You’re going to the Gonzales thing? Can you ask him a question for me:
So, let’s say you meet a cute girl one night at a bar, and you seem to hit it off, and she gives you her number. You call her back a few days later, but she says something evasive and makes an excuse to hang up. You decide to try again another night, but this time she gives an even lamer excuse. From then on, do you try to reach her one final time, or do you just not re-call?
If you do, I’ll forgive you for never talking to me again for suggesting this.

Going the distance. In NC for an improv festival until Sunday.

“That was a long way to go to set up a bad pun.”
Oh, yes. You might even say it was torturous.