The present is a strange collision between a past filled with certainty and a future with uncertainty. For as temporal perspective changes, so does everything else, except certainty. There’s nothing left to debate, so everything becomes debatable. The past has ended. The future will arrive. There is nothing that can be said that changes either.

Listen and learn.

Irresistable.
(put it in my mouth again)

I follow not eating for 24 hours with eating twice at Steak & Shake twice in the same evening.

Part cocktail party, part reunion.

Fast approaching.

It’s obviously Bigfoot.
“What? How is that casual?”
Have you ever seen Bigfoot… in a tuxedo?

Loser : 2003 :: Reality Bites : 2007

The meaning of Christmas is sharing leftover Chinese food.

Finding a counterexample for “knowing where something is implies knowing how to find it”.

“It’s like Jenga, only on a donkey.”

Restacking.

“Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow…”

Fedorable.

It comes with the territorial, and batteries.

Stress what to avoid; what to avoid: stress.

i can has cat
sh

Dessert is hard. Lunch is easy. Pie is good.

It’s all downhill from here.

(Art Hill, enjoying the pleasantly wintry Forest Park by the kindness of others.)

“These boots were made for walking…”

Gratuitously working my feet off, for:
80% guilt
15% shameless pride
5% jealousy

Worth it and $5, provided I’m still standing.

I might need a doormat for Christmas. Because I apparently needed one for Chanukkah.

Not going to talk about this past week. Ever.

All-nighters cause lower GPAs, usually through a lack of understanding of logic.

Merely existing.

Secret Santa FAQ
Q1: I haven't received a name yet!
A1: Check your facebook message Inbox. If it's not there, let me know, and I'll have the name sent to you again.

Q2: I received myself!
A2: You're a sick freak.

Q4: Can I make my own gift?
A4: Sure! The idea is to have fun and not get arrested.

Q5: Can I shoplift my gift from the campus bookstore?
A5: No. I'm not bailing you out this time, L[].

Q8: How can you have a cognitional and personal synthesis in the articulated unity of a field conception of time in which the future has primacy?
A8: oh look at the time gotta go

Lox : salmon :: prosciutto : pepperoni

Deny everything, without shame.

“Tell me again, you moaning myrtles of midnight, you mothers and fathers of aborted bananas and wombat whittling! Tell me truthfully.”

The Gaze: free improv tonight at 8pm in the Gargoyle.
See it.

Fatuous.

There is a 41% chance that drinking diet soda causes being overweight rather than being overweight causes drinking diet soda.

“What kind of music do you like?”
Not country.
“I said music.”
That's the best retort I've ever heard to my standard answer.

Apparently I’m an adult. Be all mature and straightforward. Ew. How did that happen? Nevermind, I know the answer: 5 months ago.

Intention: May.

It’s stuff like this that makes me sad the Daily Show is on strike.

Whatever I Can Get -> Networking captures perfectly the way in which facebook has sold out.

With Whatever I Can Get no longer being an option, there is a lack of the implicit inverse. Thus it is no longer shown that I’m not looking for what I can't get.

“P[] left his facebook logged on.”
“Leave it. <pause> Open, not alone.”

“And I guess that's why they call it the blues…”

Got talked into seeing a hockey game, completing a mild desire intended since the 2002 Olympics instead of doing work. While compared to other sports, the relative increase in entertainment value between watching live and watching on TV seemed low, it was definitely correct to not reject a seat at a game. Winning against Chicago, it was a good night: 3-1 victory.

Thanks, but as a male I cannot in good conscience turn down a hockey game for a sorority pre-rush banquet.

Poetry in motion.

“Oh, this night is too long…”

Figure out the logistics.
Bet $10 on it.
Follow the bouncing ball.
Hear the music.
Swing and pull and spin around.
Treasure the past.
Get your picture taken for the first time.
And again.
And again.
Take out your phone and make the call.
Wire money to Mexico.
Sneak in.
Get spotted.
Run for your life.
Don’t look down.
Don’t ask questions.
Ignore what they’re doing.
Wear someone else’s hat and coat.
Eat pie.
Miss you most of all.
Scarecrow.

“…In the end it's worthwhile…”

You’ll feel better in the morning.