“It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do...”
Perform.
Spot the subtext.
Read the subtext.
“...(This world is only gonna break your heart)...”
Establish an environment.
Use the whole buffalo.
Yes/and the scene.
“...No, I don’t want to fall in love...”
Yes/and the relationship.
Find the game.
The game is the relationship.
“...What a wicked game to play...”
The scene is the relationship.
Keep it real.
Focus on the two-person scene.
“...And I want to fall in love...”
Initiate.
Perform.
Alone.
“...Nobody loves no one...”
2/27/06
Wait- did we just drive down this road, turn around, drive back down this road, turn around again, and then drive down it again in the original direction?
“Yes.”
Okay, just checking. Not to imply that that’s not necessarily the quickest route.
“It would be much easier if North Carolina roads were built assuming Euclidean geometry.”
In MO. Give me a little time to get back.
After twice botching my order I paid $10 for an $8.98 meal. I then told the cashier to wait while I fished out 2 pennies. Then I received $1 and 4 pennies in change. I didn’t say anything. The cashier didn’t say anthing. I can feel myself getting dumber just by being in this state [WV].
“Yes.”
Okay, just checking. Not to imply that that’s not necessarily the quickest route.
“It would be much easier if North Carolina roads were built assuming Euclidean geometry.”
In MO. Give me a little time to get back.
After twice botching my order I paid $10 for an $8.98 meal. I then told the cashier to wait while I fished out 2 pennies. Then I received $1 and 4 pennies in change. I didn’t say anything. The cashier didn’t say anthing. I can feel myself getting dumber just by being in this state [WV].
2/21/06
2/20/06
Dropping S&S party: good times, Italian food, and God will understand:
If the Lutherans are correct, then you didn’t need the organizational structure of a class to learn about religion anyway.
If the Calvinists are correct, then it was predetermined anyhow and now you know you’re saved.
If the Catholics are correct, it’s fine since you’ve made your confession and feel guilty about it.
If the Unitarians are correct, then since the class wasn’t on Sundays you don’t need to worry about it.
If the Hindus are correct, then you’ll just take the class again later.
If the Jews are correct, then since you’re celebrating with food it’s perfectly kosher.
If the Atheists are correct, then this definitely isn’t a problem.
If the Lutherans are correct, then you didn’t need the organizational structure of a class to learn about religion anyway.
If the Calvinists are correct, then it was predetermined anyhow and now you know you’re saved.
If the Catholics are correct, it’s fine since you’ve made your confession and feel guilty about it.
If the Unitarians are correct, then since the class wasn’t on Sundays you don’t need to worry about it.
If the Hindus are correct, then you’ll just take the class again later.
If the Jews are correct, then since you’re celebrating with food it’s perfectly kosher.
If the Atheists are correct, then this definitely isn’t a problem.
2/19/06
2/18/06
Rule of 27
The 1st time something funny is said: it’s funny.
The 2nd time: it might be funny.
The 3rd time: funny.
The 4th time: not funny.
The 5th time: might be funny.
The 6th time: not funny.
The 7th time: not funny.
The 8th time: not funny.
The 9th time: not funny.
The 10th time: ...not funny.
The 11th time: not funny.
The 12th time: not funny.
The 13th time: not funny.
The 14th time: not funny.
The 15th time: almost funny.
The 16th time: still not funny.
The 17th time: not funny.
The 18th time: not funny.
The 19th time: not funny.
The 20th time: not funny.
The 21st time: not funny.
The 22nd time: not funny.
The 23rd time: not funny. At all.
The 24th time: not funny.
The 25th time: not funny.
The 26th time: not funny.
The 27th time: funny.
The 28th time: not funny.
The 1st time something funny is said: it’s funny.
The 2nd time: it might be funny.
The 3rd time: funny.
The 4th time: not funny.
The 5th time: might be funny.
The 6th time: not funny.
The 7th time: not funny.
The 8th time: not funny.
The 9th time: not funny.
The 10th time: ...not funny.
The 11th time: not funny.
The 12th time: not funny.
The 13th time: not funny.
The 14th time: not funny.
The 15th time: almost funny.
The 16th time: still not funny.
The 17th time: not funny.
The 18th time: not funny.
The 19th time: not funny.
The 20th time: not funny.
The 21st time: not funny.
The 22nd time: not funny.
The 23rd time: not funny. At all.
The 24th time: not funny.
The 25th time: not funny.
The 26th time: not funny.
The 27th time: funny.
The 28th time: not funny.
2/17/06
2/16/06
2/15/06
So I had a bad dream the night before my Latin presentation on Suetonius, and I though about asking my professor for an extension in response to this bad omen. But then I thought to myself, what would Suetonius do? Why, he’d ask Pliny what to do! And sure enough Pliny has a letter in which he responds to Suetonius’s fears, and pointing out it might be a good omen, and the same thing once happened to him, and he’ll argue the case if he wants. And then offers the extension.
Not me. I can give a 20 minute presentation in 15 minutes.
Not me. I can give a 20 minute presentation in 15 minutes.
2/14/06
2/13/06
2/12/06
2/10/06
Relationship Squeeze Theorem
     lim         relationship = 0
(t-> 2/14-)
As Valentine’s Day is approached, the more something in a relationship becomes nothing.
Also: something > goldfish > nothing.
Therefore, as it gets closer to Valentine’s Day, something becomes nothing, and thus the relationship becomes equal to a goldfish.
By definition of goldfish, another’s presence is insignificant, and you are playing with yourself.
Therefore, you better get her a Valentine’s Day gift, dearie QED.
     lim         relationship = 0
(t-> 2/14-)
As Valentine’s Day is approached, the more something in a relationship becomes nothing.
Also: something > goldfish > nothing.
Therefore, as it gets closer to Valentine’s Day, something becomes nothing, and thus the relationship becomes equal to a goldfish.
By definition of goldfish, another’s presence is insignificant, and you are playing with yourself.
Therefore, you better get her a Valentine’s Day gift, dearie QED.
2/9/06
I'd never been poked before now. Yet after abstaining from poking for so long, I feel I have to ask myself... was it a little anticlimatic? I mean, all that buildup, and you always hear people talking about getting poked, and it's all over the facebook, and it seems like everybody's doing it. But, well, I guess I never found that special someone to be poked by. But even if it does feel a little meaningless, I'll always remember and treasure my first poke. I hope it was as special for you as it was for me.
But, I mean, we can definitely poke each other again sometime if you want. Call me.
[Uh, that's it? That's your idea of a poke? Oh-kay. Sorry, dearie, but I've had much better.]
But, I mean, we can definitely poke each other again sometime if you want. Call me.
[Uh, that's it? That's your idea of a poke? Oh-kay. Sorry, dearie, but I've had much better.]
2/8/06
2/7/06
“You can’t be prompted on “Pride”.”
Team Devastatingly Hip, having traveled to Chicago prepared to potentially not win a single game at the ACF tournament, managed to go 4-9 to tie for 7th. And we had fun. And made good time on the trip back. And didn’t get a ticket. And might have left the buzzers in the car. <pats back condescendingly>
JFK or RFK?
“RFK. We didn't get a chance to see what he was going to do.”
Or who.
Team Devastatingly Hip, having traveled to Chicago prepared to potentially not win a single game at the ACF tournament, managed to go 4-9 to tie for 7th. And we had fun. And made good time on the trip back. And didn’t get a ticket. And might have left the buzzers in the car. <pats back condescendingly>
JFK or RFK?
“RFK. We didn't get a chance to see what he was going to do.”
Or who.
2/6/06
2/5/06
2/3/06
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