New Year’s Eve party tonight, 10pm, 6625 Wash. Ave, Apt. 1. Cell if any questions, or just show up.

And like that, the maker is met.

“And by hang, you mean make.”

Neutral.

The Octopus Method is simultaneously both too good and makes perfect sense to be only applied to just cheating at Scrabble.

“Is [Britney] making another mistake?”
“Is it really Jen in the topless video?”
“Did Theseus slay the Minotaur?”

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Back to the bookstore.

Brokering an exchange between Z[] and P[] about Keanu Reeves and Jesus Christ, in which all participants are surprisingly sober. A Christmas to remember.

“That was an entertaining movie in a stupid kind of way.”

:(

If I want to smile, I’ll pick up a colon, toss in a right parenthesis, and tilt my head to the side, tyvm. None of this newfangled non-disabling of graphical smileys nonsense that the AIM 6 wants to impose upon me.

Santa comes early this year to 6625 Wash Ave: Internet's working.

(Settling into winter quarters; stop by if around.)

[More like Santa comes on time.]

I have stories to be written, letters to be sent, books to be read, and lies to be told.

Packing.

Sufganiyot: schwamm for the holidays.

“It’s my fault for not starting earlier on this.”
Don't let being self-critical get in the way of blaming others.
“I usually blame myself, then others, then myself again for blaming others.”
Then blame others for making you blame yourself for blaming them.

“So precious, suspicious, and charming, and vicious / Oh darling...”

Okay. Go.

“...Just when you get on a roll / Here it goes...”

[profile temporarily utilized for space]
“You’ve written me lots of love poetry, and I’ve written nothing (I’ll let you read- apologies). It’s long past my turn for a love letter, but, in keeping with the fatalistic tragic theme, it is also a good-bye letter.

I certainly could not have asked for anything better. I didn’t know there were those out there as romantic and all-around nice as you- and I managed to find one of the first try! I’m sure I was frustrating at times with my “innocence” and newness at this, but you have always made me feel comfortable and from my end the experience was unforgettable. We were able to communicate amazingly, both in terms of our relationship and just in general; I have always loved our conversations. You have been a superlative boyfriend and a great friend.

…not to mention you have impeccable timing. The time we have been together has not been the best of times for me, independent of you, but you have made up for it, on a whole and day-to-day. You’ve been there for me through a lot no one should have to.

As I’ve said, I haven’t yet realized how much I’m going to miss you.”

“Do I look like a mind reader, sir, I don't know...”

So many reasons to hate; really, I’m not sure at the moment what I hate more. The thing is, I still just don’t believe in statistics.

Somewhere someplace/drop down dead.

“...I got 99 problems...”

I like blondes.
<pause>
Er, hm. There’s no way I really can recover from this now, is there.
“I think I should go quote this.”
No, wait: either you’ll remember later and quote it then, or else you’ll forget it. Win-win.

Control-S
(Save be saved.)

“Results of your Personality Disorder Test:
Find a girlfriend!”

Won Donnie Darko Mafia (Mini 343) as Donnie Darko, a protown vigilante. Miskilled a protown player who admittedly was asking for it D1, misinterpreted observations of a protown roleblocker to kill them N1, and committed both errors N2, during which I myself was put out of my misery by finally being killed by the mafia. Despite these misplays, the town was able to sweep up the remaining mafia with excellent usage of the other powerroles. Though just as frustrating as making bad plays was failing to make good ones. I talked myself out of killing a suspicious player both nights- a player who wound up being mafia. And I dropped a tell I thought I caught on a player early D2, who wound up being mafia as well.

Botched flu shots cause zombies.

Google toolbar is my bookmarks.

Conascension: up to the usual shenanigans.

Would that I be missed when I am gone for a semester as much as you have been.

You happened at a really fortuitous time for me, and I never thanked you. You're better than me at this; I expect great things from you. When I next see you, I'm not going to recognize you at all, for you'll have changed so much. Listen and you'll hear yourself. People look up to us. Our greatest strength is our greatest weakness: we’re each different people. One day you will find someone special who you won't be able to be with, and when that day arrives, you'll have this. You have a vision and you need to follow it. If you need to run, run, and don't look back. Look forward to looking back. I think I'll miss you most of all, scarecrow.

Potluck-to-end-all-potluck Tiramisu
Pecan Tartlets
Lasagna
Pumpkin Bread
Pumpkin Pie
Mac & Cheese
Self-frosted Sugar Cookies
Mashed Potatoes
Truffles
Beef Stew
Liquid Fudgecakes
Cheese & Crackers
Assorted Chocolates
Cinnamon Bread
Fruit Salad
Neiman-Marcus Cheese Dip
Orange-and-not-rum juice
100 Wendy's Chicken Nuggets (with Honey Mustard, Ranch, or Sweet & Sour)

So you know what that party really needed? Ice cubes.

“These lights won’t last the night.”

Mere formality.

We’ll have the lanterns forever.

I worried for nothing.
You’ll be fine without me.
You’re not going to remember this in the morning.
I’m going now.

“Why does it have to be all or nothing? And if it has to be all or nothing, why does it have to be nothing?”

Future perfect tense.

Whatever he asks, just say that it violates subjacency.

Drawing family trees.

“Existential plastic / Extra nightly cow / Damn jettison goodbye / Through everything...”

Too much to do.

“...Entanglement broke/ Unsophisticated clockwise...”

Too little time left.

“...Suitcase pining lobsters over murderous distraction...”

Ordered disorder.

“...Playing / Word / Disassociation...”

Getting : having :: seeing : watching

Suspicious of Whistlers’s final weekly “Beast with 2 Backs” show is tonight at 9pm in Ursa’s. If you can’t get over there to watch me, there will be no acceptable excuse for not watching the semester’s final performance next week (location/time TBD).

A present went with kiss
Past Stoic's bliss
Dependent on intent, to miss
Lovely vacation, Swiss.

“Running in circles...”

Perfected the technique of being in the right place and being at the right time.
Failed at doing both concurrently.

"Fly, you fools."
LotR. Book 2. Chapter 5, maybe? And let's say 2 pages from the end?

Unsure about whether this is necessarily bad
Certain that there must be a less backwards way to journey.

“...No one ever said it would be this hard...”

Casino Royale is a good movie, but that it is not why it is good. It is good because it is different. Which is especially interesting, since it for so many reasons it should not have been.

Hibernating.

I was born in 1986, died at age 16, and lived forever.

It is intense. Seeing it is intense. Watching it is intense. Its themes are love and death. Its setting is the past and the present and the future. Its symbols are the ring and the triangle.

But most significantly, The Fountain is my story. It is what I have thought, will live, and must tell.

“Why at age 16?”
Why in 1986?
Why forever?

Compulsively clicking mice.

Everytime I heard Robitussin I saw the evil guy from Jungle Book.
Shere Khan?
<laughs>
Sometimes I wonder about you.
At least I didn’t know the evil guy from Jungle Book of the top of my head. Which was why I was laughing.

The preceding statement either helped or hurt my argument. It is left as an exercise for the reader to determine which.

Bitter towards Thanksgiving.

“Your honor, I object to this witness's testimony. Opposing counsel has failed to show that they even exist!”

Existentially hunting the Loch Birch Mongoose.

On my side I have wit, logic, and the approval of S[]. Whereas C[] has only her infallibility.

WU Basics
Going to Bear's Den is simple. There's plenty of variety. It's easy to find a companion for a quick run. It's a casual and convenient stop that you can hit multiple times per week, even per day.

Ursa's has fewer items on the menu, but it has a particularly savory selection, with a focus on dessert items. Nor are the activities limited to the culinary realm; it's the perfect way to play a game, or maybe relax next to a fire. It lacks the same access that BD has, but nevertheless it's still simple enough to drop in here a couple times a week.

Center Court has limited access, is impossible to attend alone, and requires a commitment of both time and money- but in return, all you can eat.

And for those times when you're all the way on main campus? You go to Mallinckrodt.

A posed hypothetical:
Let someone somehow destroy every single copy of every single piece of work of Shakespeare’s- burn every script, hack any database, rip the pages out of every schoolchild’s textbook, take a scissors and magic marker to any work containing any allusion- that is, let Shakespeare not be killed, but rather hang by the threads of memories of actors and of him.

“If I die, the idea of a triangle would disappear with me.”

What becomes of Shakespeare?

“...tam in potestate esset oblivisci quam tacere.”

What becomes of the vandal?

“Does anyone know what Pliny the Elder was known for?”
Dying.

“But you see, it's not me...”

Need a strict no-zombie membership policy.

“...it's not my family...”

“Cyborg is a co-dominant trait.”

Half again.

Love, easily distracted by novel feats of anti-physics.
(Like everything else.)

Registering a what-do-you-mean-you-don't-want-a-side-salad-or-has-no-one-informed-you-that-the-side-salad-is-free-with-purchase look of so-much-for-free-pizza-I-guess-we’re-not-going-to-Vertigo.

“Oh, where is the song / That goes like this...”
Some of the best scenes from the film are disappointingly absent {witch, bridge of death}, although new material does compensate. The classic quotes have slight difference from their usual intonation, though Plenty of musical allusions extend the parody into more than a mere genre adaptation, making Spamalot an amusing play in its own right.

And this was nowhere near the worst worst seat I’ve had.
“...That's awfully high for me...”

Not right now, in general.

Not fun.

"I'd probably be Hestia. Just sit by the fire."
Well, you would have had a fun cult in Roman times.
"What did they do?”
Not have sex. Maybe it wasn't that fun a cult.

I will do something for you I’ve never done for anyone else.

Half an idea.

“Amy doesn’t date boys with [...].”
I’ll see what I can do.

It’s strange. I’m kind of angrybitter. But not really angry. Actually, I’m kind of cheerful. Except I hate stupid morons and want to kill them. But I’m not moody or upset. Wow. I’ve become *you*.

Drop everything.

I bluetape rooms. It’s therapeutic.

“This is a simulation...”

Why even try.

“(4 Points) What kind of sneakers do I wear:”
Those blue things with holes in them that I don’t know the name of and I know those aren’t technically your sneakers but they are footwear and I need to put something down since I don’t think before I’d finish this you’re going to be going to the bathroom so that I could sneak a peak into your closet unobserved and L[] would see me anyway.

Time to pick something.

““Pride and Prejudice” is something you see either with your girlfriends or your boyfriend.”

"Who the hell is going to dress up for November 11?"
Veterans?

Sleepover. Not that much sleep will be gotten. Not that that’s atypical.

Seem slightly off.

“Over the past decade, the St. Louis archdiocese paid over $5.8 million to abuse victims.”
“No trespassing / violaters will / be prosecuted.”
“Listen to me bitch.”

The perfect date activity is baking cupcakes.
It’s food.
It’s a gift.
It's personal.
It's unique.
It’s a cooperative task.
It’s a simple everyday activity.
It provides 18-25 minutes of empty time to kill while the cupcakes are in the oven...

“They’re not quite presidential, / They’re kind of influential...”

No poll working at all this midterm, due to a couple more mixups. Will just have to be a voter. Some people have issues.

There are 2 schools of space travel in science fiction: CGI and Muppet. This schism explains the difference between Star Wars 1-3 and 4-6.

Replaced into and lost Clue mafia (Mini 291), as Sergeant Grey, mafia. And was an admitted sore loser, out of bitterness for the mechanics. The mafia had no control over their nightkill (the town could kill more reliably!), being forced to rely on luck. The unusual mechanics only affected mafia strategy, so the mafia has no way of knowing that what should be an optimal strategy would fail. Mafia were placed in a position where they must commit to one of 2 diametrically opposed plans- but the more they learn about the setup, the more they are led to choose suboptimally! The better the mafia tries to play, the worse it is for them.

Like the board game, this was a town’s game, designed to be played by the town, and I feel I wasted a lot of time trying to win it when that wasn’t possible.

There is a difference between satire and parody, often lost because most of the most effective former are examples of the latter. Borat, however, is pure satire, almost more painful than funny.

Cinemis Symbolis.
Amy, my peer in love,
Clandestine paramour,
Rose-cheeked debut,

So irresistible,
Wickedly kissable.
(Overanalysis?
They had no clue.)

I am the best liar you will ever know.

A stupid question is one that can be answered by typing it into Google.

“And if I had an aeroplane...”

Highs and lows: How can a day that started off flying so high come crashing down so far so swiftly?

Take a breath and step back a year: same time, same place, same theme. Smile: the mania passes and it’s just another day.

“...‘Cause it takes me so long / Just to figure out what I'm gonna wear...”

“It's a crazy, crazy night...”

Let’s talk about what happened.

“Can I save the extra hour, and redeem it whenever I want?”
“It would awesome if you could also do that also when you lose an hour.”
On the day in question, where were you between 10:00 and 11:00?
“Nether hour, your honor. Never happened.”

Let’s not overanalyze.

“...It's a no-no / And you like it...”

Kinetic energy. I don’t really understand it.
But that’s not awful.

Series converge.

“Can’t we just use that there are 180 degrees in a triangle?”
“We haven’t proven that. Although today we will prove that there are less than 270 degrees in a triangle. It’s an easy proof.”

"There is no such thing as an easy proof."
Prove it.

Mass : Weight :: Uncooked spaghetti : Cooked spaghetti

If eating living things is bad, do not stop at vegetarianism; eschew eating plant products as well as animal ones. Thus the cheese-in-a-can diet.

Tonight.
Ursa’s.
9pm.
Free.

Just a suggestion.
Make it up as we go along.

The Beast with 2 Backs.

Go.

“Don’t judge me...”

Chinese fire drill? Check.
Get bounced at McDonalds? Check.
Stand up against homophobia? Check.
Steal from a hobo? Check.
Infect a deer?

“...and all that jazz...”

Third time's the charm. A Fall Break road trip bar none.

The 2 causes of death are hypochondria and mortality.

Will stalk for lamb.

Well done, God; that was a shutout. Seriously, did *anyone* have a good day yesterday?

Girlfrienda girlfrienda!
My love, Amy Troeger:
We hid ill, or distant, or
With ‘motions new.

First dates thus shall mean that
Now, just as then, we see
Mensiversarily
One wanting Two.

Still a little on the sick/dead/can’t-be/clever-right-now of things. Here we go anyway.

“...Got myself together, now I'm ready...”

It takes at most 5 seconds for a hobo to become a cannibal.

“Malthus discussed three steps of human agricultural society. Explain.”?
You totally should have answered “Doric, Ionic, and Corinthian.”.

It’s probably not mono and probably not appendicitis.

[It's a cute affection.]

One night of flight’s eclipse
Of parted lips
And your quirks, which perk me up, rips
No space between . . . [ellipse]

I need to be less allergic to people, events, and times of year.

"Name at least one thing you'd like to see ΗΣΦ do this year (activities, goals, community service, etc)."
Destroy Carthage.

When I panic, I become grammatically imperfect.

I wish I knew better than to draw a cypress well.

It’s still all about the θwaves. Always and forever.

I clean when I have insomnia. The converse is not necessarily true.

Putting the drama into dramatic irony.

<edit> <edit>

“All I ever wanted / All I ever needed / Is...”

Pathos or logos? It doesn't make sense- and I know it doesn't make sense- and yet I still want it. Why is there hopeless in hopeless romantic; crazy in crazy in love? INFJ, or ISTP? Does “it’s complicated” supercede any other potential declaration of relationship? Is it better to speak and apologize, if only for paradigmatically shifting? Can it ever be the same? Can one be tired and cannot sleep? Does one not want to be left, or not expect to be returned to? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, will it ever fly away?

Here ends stoicism. Ask instead about free will/fate, for it won’t matter.

“...Feelings are intense. Words are trivial...”

“Ma-ia-hii...”

If you hear it often enough, it must be true

“Oh, northern Indiana. I don’t do that. I only do <gestures> southern and <gestures> horizontal.”

Exceptional.

Correlation implies casualty. This test was so stupid I could kill someone.

The questions were like, “Who was this guy’s cousin.”
Oh, man, that sucks. Just guess Galton or Darwin.
<stares>
Oh. That was what it was asking, wasn’t it?
Well, I’m not getting that one right.

“Chicken Soup for the College Soul” should instead be “Ramen…”, and “…for the Collegiate Soul”.

"""Chicken Soup for the College Soul" should instead be "Ramen…", and "…for the Collegiate Soul"." should instead be ""Chicken Soup for the College Soul" should instead be "Ramen…", or "…for the Collegiate Soul".""

Deriving normal from mean deviations.

Xoxo kai Ex-ex-aye.
Dearest Cat Karayan:
I’m letting you know that
Whatever we do,

I feel I shall have to
Be ever so slightly
Unrequitisticly
In love with you.

Weekend weakened: Dearly
I aimed to be
Undaunted yet wanted to see
You, lying beside me.

Withdrew from Princess Bride Mafia (Mini 303) to take over moderating when the actual one disappeared, almost cancelling the game. As the protown vanilla Ancient Booer, I continued an annual precedent, by claiming to be Count Rugen, forgetting that one of the players was the moderator of the game I had been playing the previous April Fool’s Day. While the joke didn’t lead to my lynch, it wasn’t completely successful either. I felt strongly about someone who was later revealed to be the godfather, but the town instead lynched the SK. Thus that night, I was doublekilled by both the mafia and the vigilante.

Lacking full information as mod, I managed to adjudicate well enough- except for the overwhelmingly awful error of killing the wrong player. It thankfully did not affect the outcome: mafia win.

“Two more days before the plane arrives...”

Out of town for the weekend. L’shana tova.

“I suppose now would be a bad time to tell you that I have a lj.”
I suppose now would be a bad time to tell you that I've known since Day 2 of it. Do not underestimate my network of spies and assassins, my friend.

 __________
/    \     ¦
| o  ¦- - -¦
\___/¦     ¦
     ¦  θ  ¦
     ¦     ¦
     ¦- - -¦
     ¦     ¦
     ¦  θ  ¦
     ¦     ¦
     ¦- - -¦
     ¦     ¦
     ¦  θ  ¦
     ¦     ¦
     ¦- - -¦

On average, there is 1 pornographic link among the top 10 google hits.

“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”

“It’s Talk Like A Pirate Day.”
Aye.

The enemy of my enemy is a bear.

0-Sick

“Lying about a lie amounts to telling the truth, even if it’s against your moral code.”

Ugh. I hate beer.
Did you know that they are serving free beer in the village?

“It is a sad commentary on the rise of logic that it leads to the decay of the art of lying.”

Lie with me tonight.

“I’m speaking faster today. I must be using fewer words.”
It must be because you’re speaking to fewer people.

“Sam devoured the apple in 10 minutes.”
I really want that to be some kind of future tense.

I have the reading comprehension of cantaloupe. Honeydew on a bad day.

I like trees.

“Written language glottographic.”

Not even close to the best syntax.

I get paid for this?

“Science rules...”

“What is love...”
Love is dead.

One September I went to a party and heard music echoing in my ears.
I used to feel excitement.
I used to have faith.
I used to stare at the ceiling and wonder what might fall.
I wanted to feel different, and sound different, and seem different.
I wanted to understand what everyone else was thinking.
I wanted to be told when to arrive and when to leave.
I wanted to celebrate a friend.
2 weeks ago love died, and I hear it only now...

Symposium.

...I once went to a party. I once believed in love.

Long live love.
“...no more...”

        
           

The idea actual originally being the daily Away Messages was that an average of one interesting thing/day would happen with respect to me.

Slightly better even if not significantly, my cell phone may be working.

Wow. It's clearly some language, just not English.

“Fighting is done in the ring and wars are waged on the board...”

3 Rules of Chess Strategy
1) Develop your pieces.
2) Control the center.
3) Don’t make stupid mistakes.

“...mens sana in corpore sano...”

The indicative is easier than the subjunctive, and so let it thus be.

Which of the following take 10-15 minutes?

a) Doing the first Logic problem set.
b) Fulfilling 2 activities fair commitments.
c) Reexamining one’s amorality.
d) Discussing improv auditions.
e) Walking to Lopata from civilization.
f) Finishing a box of stale Triscuits.
g) Cooking pasta.
h) Waiting for a pet fish to stop listing to one side and just go belly-up already.

Don’t think I’m amoral, though I might be wrong.

Undergarment shopping arises much more often in LinDanny bonding than it ought.

"I'm taking a sweet-loving belle
To a candy boutique I know well.
My hope is my charm'll
Be heightened by caramel
Or, if she prefers, caramel."

Whatever, you say.

Shark vs. Crocodile: the Pirate vs. Ninja of the animal world.

BTC
<><

Suite rules
1) Anything that all think is right is right.
1a) Anything that 3 think is right and that Cat thinks is wrong is right.
2) No unnecessary nudity.
3) No audible country music.
4) Decisions affecting the suite must be made by all.
4a) You can't sock the common room.
4b) Singles concern only the single provided it only concerns the single.
5) Guests are the responsibility of their host.
6) Open door policy.
7) Flush.
8) Don't pee or worse in the shower.
9) My sister is off-limits.
10) If hasn't moved in 24 hours, it's a mess. Less if food is involved.
11) Suite bonding to occur at least once/2 weeks.
12) There will be common decoration.
13) When ordering food or playing poker, ask if feasible.
14) Stresses overwhelming one require all to relax.

No result for April Fool’s Mafia (Mini 304), which was abandoned by mod. I was reluctant to have the game continue without being run with knowledge of the full setup, since the nature of the game was deceitful. Even so, I would have made the correct lynch, having deduced correctly.

Will autograph today’s Studlife [p.7] for delivery of the right words.

This was supposed to be an article giving advice to incoming freshmen on their first day of class. But…

Danny is a junior in Arts & Sciences. He can be reached via e-mail at dbravman@wustl[]. Vanessa is graduate of Middlebury College, Class of ‘94. She can be reached at…?

Already hit a stack of library books and pulled an all-nighter, despite school not starting until tomorrow.

“Oh yeah? Well, how many births have *you* witnessed?”
“Er, none.”
Well, one.

And so it begins again.

(Mostly: need to start over with cellphone providers. Until I find an alternative to Cingular, good luck reaching me. Leave messages, try the suite phone, AIM, e-mail, etc.)

Wow, I haven’t seen you in awhile. I mean, in person. Like, it looks good!
The shirt?

If I told anyone I would have been doing improv tonight, disregard. I was lying. Sorry about that. Jetlag.

‘They have 15 pairs of legs.’ Who counted?
“...there are 6 legs on United...”

[I may have lied about this. Sorry about that.]

“And I am a snake head eating (snake head)...”

Making an Away Message about feeding onto facebook notes a blog of an archive of my Away Messages. Comments disabled because the resonance would be silly (if you want to tell me something, just use AIM in the first place). And I’m far too lazy and cryptic to tag shoutouts.

Going round again.

“...(snake head) The head on the opposite side...”

I seriously have some bad airport karma I need to work off.

There is no food which does not taste good fried in oil.

(This is probably not true, but a counterexample is so difficult to find that it might as well be.)

[Or would be, were fried watermelon apparently not common knowledge.]

“You wanna come get me? I'm not dressed.”

“I seem to be allergic to something you have on.”

If I eliminated from my potential dating pool all the females who B[]’s had a bad experience with...

“I had to sit B[] down and tell him to date me.”
I had to sit B[] down and tell him to date you.

“Who’s single and male who I’m friends with... Dammit. R[].”

“Have you always been that tall, Cl[]?”
Have you always been that single, Ca[]?

“I should just date J[].”
Didn’t you just try to? And didn’t it just not work?

“He doesn’t have a tragic flaw, except his choice in females.”
That’s too similar to mine: lack of choice in females.

“I think if we were to kiss that would be the line. And actually kiss, not that one time we were drunk.”

“Can I take your picture because you’re hot? Not slutty hot; Rachael Ray hot.”

She’s too hot for him.
“Yes, but he’s rich enough for her.”

Could you sell your soul for the salvation of all *mankind*?

If you're reading this and back in STL, stop by 6617 Wash Ave. Apt 2N around 8pm tonight. There will be a final party, but this time there will be Just Desserts.

Meat and Greet Ultima. Here ends the summer.

Could you sell your soul for the salvation of *all* mankind?

“I need an everyday location...”
“Purgatory.”

Episcopalian : Purgatory :: Catholicism : Hell

““...Fama di loro il mondo esser non lassa / misericordia e giustizia li sdegna: / non ragioniam di lor, ma guarda e passa.”.”

Could you sell your soul for the *salvation* of all mankind?

"Oh, I'm ready for it / Come on, bring it..."

Will have seen Snakes on a Plane, which clearly will have been awesome. Let me know if also will be at a midnight showing tonight (at 10pm?)

Could you sell your *soul* for the salvation of all mankind?

Officially hit the yes-the-start-of-school-would-be-nice-but-I-think-I'd-prefer-an-extra-week-or-2-of summer-at-this-point point.

I have this New Yorker cartoonesque image of a man going to a demonic pawnshop with a "CLOSED" sign on the door.

Could you *sell* your soul for the salvation of all mankind?

“I need something you hate that no one else does...”
Hyphens.
Well, actually, it’s dashes which I hate- that is, the doublehyphen, the emdash. But what I hate about hyphens is that there’s a distinction between them and dashes. Let there be only one typographical mark- the endash. Call it a dash, make it synonymous with a hyphen, and let there be no further punctuative deliberation. There needn’t be a difference.

Could *you* sell your soul for the salvation of all mankind?

*Could* you sell your soul for the salvation of all mankind?
Assume that there is at least one person you would sacrifice yourself for; as they are in the subset of all mankind, you might as well save a few others for your trouble, as it were. But wouldn’t they for you, being someone who’d them? Either by agreeing to the same sacrifice or ironically to spare you from such a decision, the devil would O. Henrily have you 2 sacrificing yourselves mutually, saving the complement you didn’t care enough about in order to inadvertently damn each other. Extrapolated to all of mankind: the part that would be worth salvaging would agree, so that all of mankind would sell their souls to the devil, and what remained could not be called humane. That’s the devil's way: sell your soul to save humanity, and discover that by doing so, it is lost. Religion and logic in agreement; selflessness gets martyred.

“order more
aisle free
trudge stuff
my feet ache another catalog
did I miss the shuttle ? are
is it time for dinner coffee
meet you at the hotel lunch
what’s show special let’s walk
new product booth break fast
I’m the buyer line drink ing
bus have look go bar at an
schwag bag for fun s ed we
where am badge to our room
yak with a rep get take bath”

Drawn back to free stuff. Poetic.

“Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past...”

Nobody dies wishing that he spent more time on the computer.

"Your account has been disabled by an administrator. Please contact info@facebook.com for more information."

Easier to express myself with 1000 words than a picture.

“...with the eye of the tiger...”

I do not consider lying to be immoral. It might arguably be unethical, but I genuinely feel no guilt over doing it. Honestly, I think it makes the world a better place.

I am starting to realize tbat this opinion may be strange.

I generally don’t like chocolate cake, but do like pound cake. So clearly I need to try this chocolate pound cake, in the name of science.

“You need 4 people to have an orgy. 3 if one of them’s Sarah.”
Sarah is the exception to every rule.

I’m going to start going by “Cait”
Cait?
“Ugh no. What was I thinking?”
That lasted a whole 3 seconds.

Waking up causes grumpiness. Based on a sample size of 3. 2 of who are fictional.

“So, how single are you?”
On a scale from 1 to 2?

“If you’re 1 thing, you’re 0 things.”

Random cake is good + or 0 a constant.

“The best kind of free food is the kind someone else is paying for.”
Isn’t that the definition of free?
“I’m not going to lie. It kind of is.”
I’m not going to lie. That’s kind of quotable.

“Matt’s office looked like one giant cosmetic sale gone bad. “And what the hell’s JOE VIDEO?”

Annie’s chin came up. She crossed her arms stubbornly across her chest and said, “JOE VIDEO is the perfect man.”

Matt exploded. “Men aren’t perfect, boys and girls. And guess what? We don’t care. And do you know *why* we don’t care? Because a woman’s definition of the perfect man *today* always does a complete one-eighty when tomorrow rolls around.”

Annie tossed her head, distracting him for a moment when her long, silky hair swished back over her shoulder. He hadn’t noticed, but her hair was down and loose today, instead of pulled back in a tomboy ponytail the way she usually wore it. It was also the first time he’d noticed that she wasn’t wearing slacks, but a short sundress that showed off her long, shapely legs to perfection.

Matt’s *yow-za* mojo kicked in…”

Talladega Nights is silly, but it metarecognizes itself as such. The film will take an absurd moment, neither the most nor the least absurd, and address the implausibility in such a way that the realism is kept constant. It also has the effect, like in “Cars”, of belonging to a red state subgenre

Taco Party: it’s like a Lasagna Party, but with tacos instead of lasagna. If you're reading this and in town, stop by (6617 Wash Ave. Apt 2N) sometime tonight.

(Meat and Greet 4)

“Say the word forevermore...”

I am perfectly entitled to a silly teenage crush.
No matter what.

“...So let it be what it'll be...”

Not too late.
[profile temporarily utilized for space]

They say a new millennium arrives.
We’re still awaiting only ninety-nine.
We’re the children of a decade and we know the future’s coming on fast.
We’re the children of the future and we know it cannot be held back.
We’re the children of an era whose innocence has already passed.
Hold out my wrist / twist back my blade / can’t take away / and *snap*.
There’re fifty things that you can do and I know every one,
So choose your own adventure and the color of your blood.
It’s crystal clear: I’m falling back in love.

The secrets of our universe expand beyond margin.
We don’t need babysitters but we’re home alone again.
Symbol to count / we go to ten / it’s not that late an hour.
We don’t remember where we were, somewhere beneath a tower.
The wall’s been down for oh so long; how can we be apart?
The map just keeps on changing the colors of the chart.
It’s crystal clear: I’m bleeding out the color of your heart.

We’re drawing to a full house and- cowabunga!- four of a kind.
We know some guy’ll fix everything with lots of stuff in little time.
They say that cloning’s science-fiction’s game.
They say that things will never be the same.
We’ve closed our eyes and opened up and entered in nirvana.
The mountainside / to see the sign / we all live prima donna.
They say the past is ever running long.
They say Perot is ever running strong.
It’s crystal clear: we can all get along.

The mouse tail’s growing bigger: a whole new world to flick.
We once practiced the keyboard, but now things simply *click*.
They say a new window’s opening soon.
They say a clear horizon’s shining through.
I stare into your eyes and enter the dimension third.
City rebuilt / within red wall / a chase around the world.
They say that things once left cannot come back.
They say we’ll never need what’s never lacked.
I’m living life right here right now.
It’s crystal clear: and how.

I need just one more chance to find the past I lost amid the mist.
They say nostalgia brings forth pain; instead it brings me only bliss.
Where were you when my youth was sown?
Where were you not that long ago?
I long to taste you on my lips.
I long to relive that first kiss.
It’s crystal clear just what I miss.
It’s crystal clear just what to do
To have another chance with you.
So tell me once and evermore
Why nothing else has gone before.
It’s crystal clear.

Not yet time.
[profile temporarily utilized for space]

“Been spending most our lives...”
I am going to live in NYC.

But probably for only a year. As invigorating as the overwhelming assortment of compacted variety of activity of a sprawling city requiring nothing but one’s feet is, it has 2 faults: it is expensive and rude. Which is not a criticism of New Yorkers, but rather an objective statement of New York.

Spotting the Wordplay: as much about the city as the puzzle.
“...What can I say? / [] / The way things is going I don't know...”

It’s has Sandra Bullock and The Guy Who Played the President in Independence Day.
That’s really who he is.
It is.
When he dies, his tombstone will say, “Here lies The Guy Who Played the President in Independence Day.”.

“When set loose I fly away...”
In NYC until Monday.

“…Never so cursed as when I go astray...”
Let me know if we might be able to get together.

“...What am I?”
---> Wrong. Guess again.

To be a good liar one has to be able to do 2 things:
Convince someone that what is false is actually true.
Convince someone that what is true is actually false.

When in doubt, lie.

If that doesn’t work, blame it on someone else. Or flee the country. Or blame it on someone fleeing the country.

“To share forever the unrest...”

Lying is contagious. Lie to sometone and they must either lie to you or to the world.
The cure, however, is worse than the disease.

“...I don't want to fight / I'm tired...”

Non-Euclidean Juggling
More and more come back around.

"Want to buy a duck?"
"A what?"
"A duck."
"A duck?"
"A duck."
"Does it quack?"
"Of course it quacks- it's a duck!"

Lasagna Party: it's like a Beef Lo Mein party, but with lasagna instead of beef lo mein. If you're reading this and in town, stop by 6617 Wash Ave. Apt 2N sometime tonight.

(Meat and Greet 3)

Everybody Comes to Schnucks.

“Once per life you can play fire, which beats everything.”
What? How does fire beat rock? And scissors?
“Lava. And shut up.”

Hail, rain, sparks, wind, tree, lightning, missive, midnight:
Earth, water, fire, air, wood, storm, rhyme, time.
Some days all the elementals get to play.

“Then there’s water, which beats only fire, but you can play it as many times as you want.”
What? That makes no sense. Shouldn’t water rust scissors? And destroy paper? And erode rock? It’s backwards...
“I’m going to kick you if you don’t shut up.”
Can I use my once per life fire against your kick?
<kick>

Simmertom Separon.
Cat, drawn to find a mate,
Versed well in reversal.
(Why? Don’t you know?)

While desir’d explaining
Gets skipped, what’s remaining
Cartomantically
For her? Uno?

Not in the cards.

"Will you take your place with me?"

Les Miserables at 8pm tonight at the Fox Theatre. Anyone interested, cell or e-mail me ASAP and I can probably still get you a $10 off ticket, if not a ride too.

"The time is now, the day is here..."

In the Cards. 11-2.

“And really, what has Thailand ever done for us, anyhow?”

Anna and the Loop Eatery Circumnavigation.

(celtic cross)
10 of Swords
3 of Wands (reversed)
7 of Cups
Ace of Swords (reversed)
10 of Cups (reversed)
4 of Swords
Knight of Cups (reversed)
4 of Wands (reversed)
5 of Wands
6 of Swords
King of Swords (reversed)

Not in the cards.

“We should play 8 person war.”
“We should play 9 person war with a NPC Switzerland.”

Every day is the last day.

“Every time you see someone that you haven’t seen since the night before, it’s a new start.”

“Is this the right way?”
“Oh, no. It leads to the werewolf. But don’t worry, it eats only squirrels.”
You do need to worry about the weresquirrels though.

Jazz: jazz jazz jazz.

“Well, yeah, the weresquirrels eat people. But that’s why they rereleased the werewolf: ecosystem control.”

Snatch up treasure where it lay. 25 years, half a day.

Nothing to tear up over about.

“All that you fashion/all that you make...” (“Deviled Beef.”)
“All that you build/all that you break...” (“Please do not ever mention George Bush. And Winston Churchill in the same sentence, even if you must break all the rules of grammar to do so.”)
“All that you measure/all that you feel...” (I feel like how I feel you felt when you were telling me how you felt about how you felt.)
“All that you sense/all that you scheme...” (It smells like cologne… wow, with an aftersmell of cologne.)
“All you dress up/all that you've seen...” (Had gotten started watching.)
“All you create/all that you wreck...” (She’s indicated interest in doing things… wait that came out badly.)

“Walk on...” (They gave you stepcounters? Cool! What was the occasion?
“Taking away our health benefits; apparently if we take 8000 steps/day, we’re fine.”)

GhettoSchnucks is so... what’s the word for it?
“Real?”
Yes, that’s it! That Schnucks is real. As opposed to LadueSchnucks, which is surreal.

How was Pirates 2? In 3 words. No, don’t answer that. Just say whether it was good or bad. Actually, don’t say anything. I don’t want to know.

Cheered the fabulous.

Though you did text OMG.
Yeah. So in a word...
That’s 3 words.

“I’m a Mormon in the summer. Church of Not-going-to-make-a-big-deal-about-it.”

MD until Monday, to see some things again.

Reverting vertigo
Couched in plateau,
I make move you’ve awaited; though
Just how, I do not know.

Conservation of Food-Energy-Leftovers
Food is neither created nor destroyed, but is converted into energy or leftovers.

Freedom is not being able to do whatever you want. Freedom is not doing whatever you want. Freedom is not whatever you want. Freedom is walking into Domino's and walking out with 2 medium cheese pizzas without paying anything.

If you walk around in broad daylight carrying a knife, you are sketchy.
If you walk around in broad daylight carrying a rolling pin, you are sketchy.
If you walk around in broad daylight carrying a knife and a rolling pin, you are a cook.

“We can dance if we want to / We can leave your friends behind...”

One is allowed to be dramatic if it’s amusing.

That was the type of thing *I* would do. I can give no better compliment than that.

Beef Lo Mein Party: it’s like a Lamb Stew Party, but with beef lo mein instead of lamb stew. If you're reading this and in town, stop by (6617 Wash Ave. Apt 2N) sometime tonight.

(Meat and Greet 2)

Adulthood is not realizing you are not a child. Adulthood is staring into your best friend’s eyes and realizing that they aren’t.

To be an adult one must be both confident and pessimistic.

Pessimism is not believing the glass is half-empty. Pessimism is believing that one day the glass will be empty.

Poculum vacuandum at 1 AM. (So much for intelligence.)

Confidence is not knowing which moves will win nor which moves will lose nor which moves will stalemate. Confidence is knowing what the other player will do. The goals do not change; rather, the positions change, and with them, the way other players will react. Each move bares a new board for a response. Some moves will not be responded to, some will have reaction forced, some can be made only without a response, some require reciprocal action.

To be confident one must be both intelligent and mature.

Maturity is not knowing that one is mature; maturity is knowing that one has been immature. Maturity is the moment of selfconsciousness, of emotional metaawareness. There is probably a correlation with awareness of culture, and of art, and of irony, and of others; or at least some of these. Any correspondence with age is probably coincidental.

Intelligence is knowing when to round down versus up.

The great thing about pizza is that it can be easily transformed into leftover pizza.

Calling not-shotgun.

“First piece of news: my family’s crazy.”
That’s not news.
<simultaneously>“That’s not news.”

Play the Pyramid
A colander.
Cheap Ramen.
Expensive Ramen.
Burned DVD.
A forwarded letter.
An elephant statuette.
Packing peanuts.

[Second round: the judge would have also accepted “You’re in St. Louis?!” for the category “People I’ve run into this week”.]

There’s something almost exotic about Cars, like it a foreign film produced in the country of red states. I found it, despite fitting into none of my interests, nevertheless enjoyable.

After I’m done with my haircut I kill time waiting for the shuttle by looking at new phones at the Sprint store because I’m due for an upgrade. Then I walk to the far shuttle stop, because I feel like hitting the Galleria. As I’m walking by Schnucks I remember the time that I ran into Professor L[] there, and am thinking how hilarious it would be if I again ran into someone. So I turn around- and see K[]! Who gives me a ride to the Galleria. So I get there, and am walking around, and I’m thinking wouldn’t it be hilarious if I again ran into someone. So I turn around- and see Jessica Alba.
You’re lying.
If I had that new phone you’d be looking at her in a brown dress right now.

And then I found my and-then-I-found-my-$10 line.

“Eats, Shoots & Leaves” is an amusing travelogue of punctuation, once you get past the initial apostrophic screed.

I tried to use screedy in conversation, and I got scrabbled.

“There's a lady who's sure...”
Life is a slinky descending an escalator.
“‘Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings...”
The secret to life is to descend a slinky down an escalator.
“Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven...”
I want to descend a slinky down an escalator.
“...my spirit is crying...”
A slinky cannot perpetually descend an escalator.
“...really makes me wonder...”
An escalator cannot perpetually ascend a slinky.
“And a new day will dawn for those who stand long...”
I want an escalator to ascend a slinky.
“And it makes me wonder...”
Life is an escalator ascending a slinky.
“There walks a lady we all know...”
The secret to life is to ascend a slinky down an escalator.
“...To be a rock and not to roll...”

The secret to life is to find something you like doing and to get people to pay you to do it.

Go-to guy for sneaking subversive articles into the school newspaper under the guise of advising incoming freshman.

“Our paper is stupid.”
No, it’s beyond that; it’s retarded little brother. Like, it’s dumb, but you love it anyway.

The only show I’ve watched from the beginning to the end... is Joe Millionaire?
That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.

I do not do creativity that well at 1 AM.

I’m like a neuron. My axon potential either fires or it doesn’t.

Roll a bear check.

This would be one of those things that you always do and I never do, except that I did it. And given how many of these types of things you do, it could very well be something you've already done. So, um, not sure how to classify it, grammatically.

Instant Biographical Soundtrack
Take playlist. Shuffle out 17 songs, randomly assigned to the following events: {Opening Credits, Waking Up, Falling in Love, Fight scene, Breaking up, Getting back together, Secret Love, Life's okay, Mental breakdown, Driving, Flashback, Partying, Happy dance, Regretting, Long night alone, Death scene, Ending credits}.

Why is this still on my playlist?
<next>
No, wait, I take it back. Why is *this* still on my playlist?

Learning the language.

“Some verbs have only a [first] aorist, some only a [second] aorist, and some both. There is no difference whatever in the meaning. Greek only does this because otherwise the language would be too easy to learn.”

“You Failed Your Math Test, Comrade Einstein”, aside from having an intriguing title, explores an interesting topic: religious discrimination in the realm of mathematical education in late Soviet Russia. However, the book itself is too badly edited to be worth reading. Some examples are overexplained; others puzzle the reader from missing context. The sections are thematically discordant; some tangentially exploring the mathematical intricacies of sample problems, others considering the biography of noted dissidents. Worst, however, is that what does overlap is repetitive.

In the future, doublestuff Oreos will be considered regular Oreos, and triplestuff Oreos will take the place of doublestuff Oreos.

"Someone's job is to put the cream in the cookies. How cool is that."
“It’s done by machine.”
“It was once done by a person.”
“It’s always been done by machine.”
“What about Amish Oreos?”

“Japan is in Asia and is a small island nation. France is in Europe. Japan-France would then be a small island nation in Europe-Asia. Coincidentally, Europe and Asia aren't really two separate continents, and combined, they are actually called Eurasia. This is funny because Japan-France is not a real country, but Eurasia is a real continent.”

When will I learn to just shut up and be social?

"You're talking. See to that."
<gasps>
<long>"I respect that."
<shocked>"But he's just taking that from Firefly!"
<considers>"I still respect that."

Meat and greet. If you're reading this and in town, stop by sometime tonight for some lamb stew.

“So I was looking at that sign, and at first I thought it said Kabob Institute.”
If I ever open a kabob place, it’s going to be called Kabob Institute.
“Then I realized it was a hospital, and it said Rehab Institute.”
If I ever run a hospital, it’s going to serve kabobs.

“But if you lose, the devil gets your soul...”

What the devil? (What happened? Who am I?)
Speak of the devil. (Just a coincidence. Nothing special.)
Devil in the details. (The details are irrelevant. Hammer out the details.)
Idle hands are the devil’s tools. (Nailed to the cross. Working at cross purposes.)
Devil gets his day. (One day. Day by day.)
Give the devil his due. (Overdue. Do over.)
Make a deal with the devil. (Misdeal. Deal with it.)
Sell your soul to the devil. (Can’t buy happiness. Can’t go back.)
The devil made me do it. (I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say.)
Better the devil you know. (I don’t know. I don’t know.)

My 6s look like 2s.

Pot purchasing.

“Here’s $10. Can you go in and buy me some Nicorette gum?”

The wettest clothes 60 cents can buy.

“Bad Twin” is disappointing as a mystery; the conclusion is unsatisfying given the buildup. However, the book does feature many allusions and metaallusions to the Lost mythology for a fan to feel obligated to read it. I escaped purchase by utilizing my library perk at the bookstore. Which, like the show Lost, has its own layers of mysteries waiting to be excitingly uncovered.

Ramen is not a social food; it is a meal to be eaten alone, behind closed dining room doors. But what if friends were to happen to gather for an impromptu Ramen banquet, with the taboo whisked aside? Then the shocking details are laid bare, with diners able to observe the methods that others have divergently evolved. Some rely on the addition of liquid; others eschew that in favor of pure noodles. Some adorn with the contents of the opened silver packet; others disdain that artificial oversalinated taste in favor of more natural noodles. This one manipulates chopsticks with their fingers, that one lifts the bowl to their lips; this one spoons, that one forks. Everybody does it; no one ever talks about how.

Wiki-Google Proposition
Let the wikilink to x be the link to x’s page in wikipedia. Let w: {s: s is a searchable terms in google} -> N st w(x) = the rank of the wikilink to x in a google search of x. Let w' = max(w(x)).

w' is significant.


Wiki-Google Corollary
Let w* be the preimage of w'.

w* is significant.

Won Civilization Mafia with the town as Mao of the Chinese, despite being lynched Day 1. Which was mostly my own fault: identifying role flavor could not make up for ignoring the identification of antitown in the role PM, and being wildly wrong in my speculation hurt as well. While my suspicions may have been off, I do think my strategizing helped, at least after the second calculations. Though having the setup favor the town proved the biggest asset.

Memorial.

If the person you are stalking knows that you are stalking them, you are doing something wrong.

“sometimes i think it would be really funny to copy the away message of someone who is on my buddy list but shouldn't be just to see 1) if i'm on that person's buddy list (and then if you subsequently IM me in outrage/fear, you are just as scary for having me on yours; 2) if we have mutual friends who report my plagiarism; 3) stalking is fun!; 4) maybe someone will steal this lame away message in a [witty] attempt at rebound humor!”

If the person you are stalking knows that you are stalking them, you are doing something wrong.

11. You know this girl. Not superwell, but you go to the same school and know some people in common and share an activity or two. You’re bored one evening and reading away messages and wind up looking through her lj and come across one of those survey things, which contain things which don't seem significant, but yet at the same time enough to make you feel a little concerned. What do you do?

If the person you are stalking knows that you are stalking them, you are doing something wrong.

Bowled more than three games and more than one hand.

So hot right now:
Been down, isn't it a pity
Go out and find a girl
Dressed so fine and looking so pretty

“...In the summer, in the city...”

Trumping your partner’s ace makes them less of a man.

<->

read&initial
5.10.06
the “mary hasn’t done a new r&i in 3 weeks so danny will since he just finished his last final and is in a silly mood and I mean mary does it all the time so how hard can it really be” edition

Sales were something-or-other compared to last year. Might have been down, might have been up. Or possibly flat. I don’t really know. If you are really curious I’m sure someone knows so you could ask around. But I’d guess that more sales would probably be a good thing in any case. So greet customers, take orders, and don’t forget to smile! :-)

So I've realized I have an inordinately difficult time distinguishing between 2 types of "huh"- the hm-that's-an-interesting-thing-you-just-said huh and the I-don't-understand-what-you-just-said huh. Sometimes if I stare at it long enough I can figure it out, but I'm never completely sure. There's probably some fascinating psychology behind this, so, get on this.
huh

Bravman: the Smith of the 21st century.

In general, things with you in them are more interesting than things without you in them. Er, wait: This car would suddenly become a lot more interesting if you were to suddenly not be in it.

Neither Steak ‘n Shake nor Lamberts, nor Masonic embarrassment, nor final dawn greeted among friends; but let some mobile traditions remain. DVDs watched, games played, music looted, treasures found, random wanderings made from dorm to dorm, and the proper time and place for sleep awaited.

Can I stay over again the night the dorms close?
“Sure, though you might have to sleep in J[]’s bed.”
He is a hottie.
“Indeed he is.”

“Never free / Never me...”

Trying to decide what to make of this ruckus. One on hand, it's totally trying to be facebook, and I don't want to give it the satisfaction. δε, free music.

This is much less complicated than it seems.

“...Turn the pages, turn the stone / Behind the door, should I open it for you?”

Sublet.
Seriously.

The dorms will be open until 5pm. So will your eyes.

I’ll Sleep on the Plane ’06

wd : bridge :: gj : graffiti

Homer’s Corollary to Chekhov’s Gun:
If the epithet “swift-footed” is used in Book 1, there will be a chase scene in Book 22.

We Just Work Here

[There is a surprisingly large amount of symbolism in this Away Message.]

Performance art is dead. So are Marvin Pusè and Pablo Picatuer.

I will admit to indulging in the heresy of believing in CPK, but I submit that the only true authority is Rome.

Free breakfast/free brunch/free pizza: Maybe Attending.
(Gatecrashing the free soda.)

Playing musical sublets.

Can this month be redone? Rather sure I messed it up the first time through.

The backwards thing is I feel like I can go to Rome anytime, but I won’t have another chance to spend a semester at Wash U.

Pack
Pack
There
Back

Sometimes it is that hard.

Test
Test
Problem Set
Translation
Translation
Recommendation
Application
Department
Department
Apartment
Library
Laundry
Windy city
Pack
Pack
There
Back
Test
Test
Problem Set

…Sleep?
I’ll sleep on the plane in the car.

Sometimes it is that easy.

It would be a shame to waste the last day of class taking a test.

“Lunatics are melodramatic.”

(Laughs on the Landing, 9pm tonight)

The eagle falls.

This weekend was surrealistically like the buildup to a TV show finale. Put in your obligatory “I’m still here” cameo and let’s finish this thing up.

“It’s interesting to find someone like that.”
Male and single? I guess you did meet a lot of interesting people last year after all.

First anniversary.
Take that $1.08 and keep it in your minibar.

"We should go out to eat more often. You're like the cash-back option at the checkout line."

Park 17(4): the corner of Wheeler and Fontbonne.

One of the main accomplishments of the Secretariat has been to rename the position “Director of PR” into “Secretary”; the future holds transformations to “Secretary-General” and ultimately to “General”. Moreover, under the Secretariat awesome powers of nature were unleashed on New Orleans and Snape killed Dumbledore. But an entire generation grown under the rule of James Andrew Thomas More Brantley has known only a member-at-large with 5 names. Do not give in to fat and complacency! Danny Zack Caleb Jason Steinert-Bravman-Threlkeld offers an entire *7* names of service! If in crisp autumntime Zack is bringing justice to the people of Cameroon, Danny will be here to administer local affairs. If in fragrant springtime Danny is infiltrating nefarious organizations in the underbelly of Rome, Zack will be here to control the masses. Vote Danny/Zack for member-at-large or we’ll kill you.

Pi meal points.
This is not why I cannot eat anything.

The Dank presented by Suspicious of Whistlers, LabSci, free, 9:30pm tonight.

Seem to have misplaced my shield.

One can count from 0 to 1 in binary. Which makes it like Russian.

One is allowed to eat kitniyot for x days of Passover, where x is the number of Sephardic great-grandparents one has.

Do you know what’s cool?
“Explosions.”

Taxed.

There is also a fifth son, the Zen son, who is not even present at the Seder.

Why isn’t this night different from all other nights?

(As for tonight: 6pm Eliot 3 common room. Help during the day would be much appreciated. Give me a call or stop by Eliot kitchen.)

The ugly part isn’t getting divorced from reality for irreconcilable differences, but figuring out who gets custody.

Just when I thought this week couldn't get any worse.

Liggett.

(Still [don't] have Wheeler but it's not the same.)

Don’t drink orange soda right before an exaggerated physicality warmup.
“That belongs in a book.”

Can this week be redone? Rather sure I messed it up the first time through.

“Dicta sunt utrimque multa, etiam de causa.”

“Remember, remember...”
Saw V for Vendetta. Thematically clever as well as cinematographically superlative to the point of hypnotic. Not going to invoke the cancer loophole, but suffice to say that Natalie Portman with her head shaved is uglier than Natalie Portman without.

“When some ambassadors from Troy offered tardy condolences on the loss of Drusus, Tiberius responded with condolences on the loss of Hector.”

Too late.

If you feel you are eating a taco when actually eating a cake, you are doing something horribly wrong. And should get a fork.

Indiana, you don't know what you're missing.

Actually did and will be doing stuff for April Fool’s this year, but why mess with tradition:

Eggs, toast, and a slice of bacon walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry... but we don't serve breakfast here."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please... and one for the road."

Will autograph today’s StudLife [p.7] for Pepsi. Or any form of caffeine, at this point.

We regret to inform you that, after careful consideration, Washington University in Saint Louis is unable to accept your offer of rivalry at this time...

Danny is a sophomore in Arts & Sciences and likes Pepsi. He can be reached via e-mail at dbravman@wustl[].

In severe pain after running into a ninja.
Worst Jedi ever.

Students for Ethical Solutions presents Dr. Simon Dresden, author of “In Defense of Herbert Spencer: It's Time to Cull the Herd”, this afternoon at 4:30pm in Rebstock 215.

It’s time to call out and be heard

“Philosophy is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat.
Metaphysics is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat that isn't there.
Theology is like being in a dark room and looking for a black cat that isn't there and shouting, “I found it!”.”

Found the intersection of classics and math, tinged by linguistics and history- and it’s overwhelmed by a mess of philosophy. Again. Naught to do but follow the cat outside into the night, along a path that hopefully will diverge before leading back to the same location the following year.

“A round of applause for Plato: let him be right today; he can be wrong on Wednesday.”

“So I just show up and say “feed mizzle”?”

Team North Korea’s Got Pyongyang won the first 4 games, before losing all but 1 of the rest (the exception being against our B team), to end at 5-5. What we lack in endurance we made up in luck, managing to take third place off of tiebreakers. FTP, what was the B team’s name?

Team Sean Preston Spears Federline became effectively Team Sean midway through Trivia Night, taking second place behind a quizbowl first place team. (The third quizbowl team took fourth, denying a sweep.) Winning second place merited a $50 iTunes gift certificate... per *player*.

Our $250 pales next to the $500 in BestBuy gift certificates the A team scored.

[And now to TN, completing for mere glory.]

False pessimism.

I like this far too much to hate it.

Know Your Schwamm, half and half:
{introverted, self-conscious, sympathetic, witty, accepting, reflective}
{glum, insecure, lethargic, cynical, embarrassed, withdrawn}

(Honorable Mentions: {mature (in the sense of hating immaturity), violent (in the sense of AngryDestructive)})

You clearly need to be less adjective.

Quite depressing to, of the things one needed/wanted to do over Spring Break, have actually only accomplished laundry and taxes.

The cross clearly should be displayed in US courtrooms; for it symbolizes the foundations of American justice: the death penalty and torture.

Ethical arguments.

“When Max, a F[] associate, receives his paycheck, he sees that the Company has made a large error in his favor. Max wants to keep the money, but doesn't know if he should. As he makes his decision, what questions should Max ask himself? […]
( ) How would it look to my teenage daughter if I kept the money?”

“Anne is Kyle's boss at F[]. Anne and Kyle also belong to the same church group. They have both attended many of the group's outings and activities together. They are attracted to each other, and Kyle has hinted that he would like to start dating more seriously. Which of the following statements about Anne and Kyle is true? […]
( ) They should quit the church group.”

St. Patrick’s Day, celebrating with taxes.
No connection.

Null day, celebrating with a haircut.
No connection.

(Today is the null holiday I created, celebrating to preserve what little festive momentum there is from Pi Day and the Ides of March through until St. Patrick’s Day. I’m still considering ideas for such details as traditions, rituals, and a decent name.)

Ides of March, celebrating with books.
No connection.

Pi Day, celebrating with bowling.
No connection.

I have an amazing talent to have the library be closed when I actually want to study there.

Who needs Cancun?

Done with midterms. Could have been a lot worse.

For spring break I will be going nowhere, and it will be a vacation.

Da Colbert Code
Word Association
Associated Press
Freedom of the Press
Free
Costly
Katrina
New Orleans
Mardi Gras
Ash Wednesday
Thursday
TGIF
Wendy’s
Peter Pan
Peanut Butter
Bitter Butter Battle
Dr. Seuss
One fish, two fish
Three french hens
12 days of Christmas
8 nights of Chanukkah
8pm
Primetime
Happy Hour
Alcoholics Anonymous
Hello
My Name Is
Mudd
Multipurpose Room
Room with a View
Rear Window
Alfred Hitchcock
GetSuspicious
Suspicious of Whistlers
Be there

          Cheep
      Meow Oink
Bark Moo *Quack*

What did you have to run off for? Mock trial?
“Nope. What's the one other thing it would be?”
On Sunday evenings? Trial.
“No trial practice tonight. In general, what's the other reason I'd be gone?”
Um, let me think. Trial?
“Other than trial.”
Sometimes you have this trial thing to do...
“Hint: off campus.”
Tournament?
“It's not mock trial.”
Is it mock trial?
“In other words, the reason I'm gone has nothing to do with mock trial. Stated differently, if you say anything to do with mock trial, you are wrong. To put it in another way, do not say mock trial again.”

This week will be long, exhaustive, annoying, and potentially requiring utilization of my network of spies and assassins.

For the record, you needn't kill B[] in his sleep. At least, on my account. At least, tonight.

Lost a Firefly themed ninth game of Mafia to a Serial Killer victory. I was Kaylee, a naive cop, and did correctly guess Night 1 that I was unlikely to be accurate; but when Mal was revealed to also be a cop, I figured he was more likely to be insane than for Kaylee to be naive. Ironically, it was moot: my targets were all innocent, at least at the time of investigation: I did investigate the SK who eventually won on a night when he’d have been revealed as innocent anyway.

While I did misplay, it doesn’t seem that any of my mistakes were direct causes of the town’s loss, though they indirectly might have made things complicated enough to be considered contributory to the loss. Interestingly, half of the lynches were correct, including the final 2.

Am I allowed to root for cancer?

"Ringworm, Wheat germ, that heinous perm
Everything from which we turn
Living with cancer isn't so easy
And daily treatments make 'em queasy
Yet there is hope, and help you can

Finding a cure, is the plan
Ordinary people discover every year
Relay For Life helps dissipate the Fear

Learn about cancer, while having fun
It's different than anything else you've done
For Grandma, David or Aunt Mary-Sue
Everyone makes the night meaningful for you"

I’m a big believer in the question-mark method, to indicate to the grader that even though I don’t know the right answer, I know the wrong answer.

Giving up irony for Lent.

“It’s strange what desire will make foolish people do...”
Perform.
Spot the subtext.
Read the subtext.
“...(This world is only gonna break your heart)...”
Establish an environment.
Use the whole buffalo.
Yes/and the scene.
“...No, I don’t want to fall in love...”
Yes/and the relationship.
Find the game.
The game is the relationship.
“...What a wicked game to play...”
The scene is the relationship.
Keep it real.
Focus on the two-person scene.
“...And I want to fall in love...”
Initiate.
Perform.
Alone.
“...Nobody loves no one...”

Wait- did we just drive down this road, turn around, drive back down this road, turn around again, and then drive down it again in the original direction?
“Yes.”
Okay, just checking. Not to imply that that’s not necessarily the quickest route.
“It would be much easier if North Carolina roads were built assuming Euclidean geometry.”

In MO. Give me a little time to get back.

After twice botching my order I paid $10 for an $8.98 meal. I then told the cashier to wait while I fished out 2 pennies. Then I received $1 and 4 pennies in change. I didn’t say anything. The cashier didn’t say anthing. I can feel myself getting dumber just by being in this state [WV].

Enfold, old friend, my knees
In victory’s
Comforter; moan blown echoed breeze
To me: / How are you? / Please.

Dropping S&S party: good times, Italian food, and God will understand:

If the Lutherans are correct, then you didn’t need the organizational structure of a class to learn about religion anyway.
If the Calvinists are correct, then it was predetermined anyhow and now you know you’re saved.
If the Catholics are correct, it’s fine since you’ve made your confession and feel guilty about it.
If the Unitarians are correct, then since the class wasn’t on Sundays you don’t need to worry about it.
If the Hindus are correct, then you’ll just take the class again later.
If the Jews are correct, then since you’re celebrating with food it’s perfectly kosher.
If the Atheists are correct, then this definitely isn’t a problem.

I may have forgotten what to do on a Friday night on campus with a free weekend, but I have not forgotten how to sleep for 14 hours.

Rule of 27
The 1st time something funny is said: it’s funny.
The 2nd time: it might be funny.
The 3rd time: funny.
The 4th time: not funny.
The 5th time: might be funny.
The 6th time: not funny.
The 7th time: not funny.
The 8th time: not funny.
The 9th time: not funny.
The 10th time: ...not funny.
The 11th time: not funny.
The 12th time: not funny.
The 13th time: not funny.
The 14th time: not funny.
The 15th time: almost funny.
The 16th time: still not funny.
The 17th time: not funny.
The 18th time: not funny.
The 19th time: not funny.
The 20th time: not funny.
The 21st time: not funny.
The 22nd time: not funny.
The 23rd time: not funny. At all.
The 24th time: not funny.
The 25th time: not funny.
The 26th time: not funny.
The 27th time: funny.

The 28th time: not funny.

St. Louis weather is stupidcrazy. Yesterday it was 70; today, with wind chill, it’s to be 8.

Speaking of things that don’t make enough sense:
Tonight-7:30pm-Brown 100-Suspicious of Whistlers-free.

Romanian Poncho
Fill a cup with Coke.
Pour it out.
Fill the cup with Minute Maid Lemonade.
Add 2 limes.

So I had a bad dream the night before my Latin presentation on Suetonius, and I though about asking my professor for an extension in response to this bad omen. But then I thought to myself, what would Suetonius do? Why, he’d ask Pliny what to do! And sure enough Pliny has a letter in which he responds to Suetonius’s fears, and pointing out it might be a good omen, and the same thing once happened to him, and he’ll argue the case if he wants. And then offers the extension.

Not me. I can give a 20 minute presentation in 15 minutes.