Chocolate goat cheese takes exactly like you wouldn’t expect, because it tastes exactly like chocolate and exactly like goat cheese.

“Today seems like a good day to burn a bridge or two…”

Sometimes the realization of finality just explodes like microwaved water.

“…Nothing to see, show’s over: people, just move along…”

“The third one is when you want something overpoweringly <grunt>. The second has the hotness of Eowyn. And the first one is the first one.”

First and foremost.

Pirates 3 was no The First One.
Shrek 3 was also no The First One.

Apologies for the childishness, but it is intended in good fun.

This is EmpTyger. I'm being... vigilant.

Watched Sunshine Cleaners. Pathological liars trying to find honest work.

“I love you. And I love you. And I’m glad you’re around.”

Flourless cake, flowerless fire.

“…I want something else to get me through this / Semi-charmed kind of life…”

“This Is Not a Game” is a perfect suspense for nights requiring an extra hour of insomniacal activity. Save for the negated chapter titles, it is not witty or clever, nor intellectual or philosophical. It is plot; like the enjoyment of a recap of a game, it is sufficient to provide enjoyment.

Sorry, we’re having a slight rabbinic dispute here.

Italian ThinkBread: because matzah was too Jewish.

I think we got all the plagues. Can we check them in the back of the haggadah?
Only the odd ones.

Why is this night different from all other nights?
On all other nights we eat all kinds of vegetables, but on this night we eat wasabi.
On all other nights we do not dip even once, but on this night we dip rolls into wasabi, and edamane into soy sauce.
On all other nights we dine either sitting upright or reclining, but on this night we eat lying on the floor.

On all other nights we eat matzah.
On this night we eat sushi.

The time has come, the walrus said, goo goo g’joob.

Color coordinated.

True blue.

Skim milk is not supposed to change color.

Milk teas are tealike when warm, and milky when cold.

It’s like drinking the leftover milk in a cereal you really like.

No Shame tonight: 10pm Women’s Building, Olin 2.
Get the message.

“FIRST SAVED MESSAGE”
or
“SINCE I’VE KNOWN YOU”
two twenty-one-act plays in one scene
adapted for the stage by
DANNY BRAVMAN
for
NO SHAME THEATRE
at
WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY
in
SAINT LOUIS
on
APRIL 3, 2009
starring
A GUY
A GIRL
and featuring the voice of
SATHYA SRIDHARAN

Will not autograph today’s Studlife [p.3].

Washington University’s economic situation plummeted to a record low as the fallout from the “textbook bubble” meltdown continued…

Too lame for words.

A pony walks into a bar and coughes several times. The bartender asks him, "Are you alright?" The pony says, "Yeah… I'm just a little hoarse."

I ran into L[] post-hangover this morning.
That sounds like you were post-hangover, which I know you weren’t.
It also sounds like L[] was post-hangover, which I know she wasn’t.

Schnarticle was already cool before it turned into a Clooney location shoot.

I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen you sober.
“I don’t remember the last time I saw you, drunk.”

Parking break.

“Raindrops keep falling on my head…”

Heading into the rain. Eins zwei dry.

First there was snow mixed in with rain. Then there was rain mixed in with rain. Finally, they added some of that rain/rain mixture to itself.

“This is a sketch…”

“Important Things with Demetri Martin” reflects everyday humor. Clever, intelligent, quirky; at its best insightful, at its worst awkward.