“We need to travel back in time and make you go to Hopkins so that you help us build me a time machine.”
Except I got into Hopkins because I couldn’t have a time machine.
“There are 2^n parallel universes, in one of which all of us are at Hopkins. It is the responsibility of us in the other universes to bring our parallel selves together. Because I really need a time machine.”
I empathize. Fine, I’m in- but only to morally enforce a no-diverging-timelines policy.

Only a matter of time.

Jewish race : clown :: drunk David Spade : time machine