Gods eat ambrosia; the rest of us have brunch.
[Drop by my apartment 11:30am-1:30pm.]

"R[]'s arguments never have a hole in the middle of them" bagels.

"The philosophical question 'Which came first, the chicken or the egg' is so beneath R[]'s genius that any allusion to the question is an insult" omelets.

"To promote world peace, R[] respects all religions equally, including their dietary restrictions" bacon.

"R[] is not flaky” croissants.

"2% implies imperfection, and R[] is perfect in every way" milk.

"Out of solidarity with oppressed peoples everywhere, R[] will not tolerate the symbolic injustice of fruit squeezed against its will" orange juice.