Procrastination shouldn’t be rushed.

It gives you a +1 bonus against any disarm attack made against your pants.

It has a hook.

Incomplete Minesweeper Theorem
The chance of correctly guessing the solution in a game in which no further deduction is possible is directly related to the number of mines still unmarked.

“P[]’s more ‘How *dare* you discuss such a thing! Don't you realize how much L[]’s attempt *hurt* me? Do you want to *hurt* me like that?’. L[]’s more like ‘You don't seem to realize that it is in fact selfish. And I know you don't want to be selfish.’. And you're just ‘Please don't die.’. Which is probably the best argument, frankly.”
They have an oddly logical approach to it.

Ethos, logos, pathos: argued to death.

“Silly people assume I operate under logic.”
There’s something almost axiomatic to me, about not dying.

Not sure which is more significant: the first dream in which one speaks a foreign language, or the first dream in which one flees an erupting volcano.

“The seasons will pass- years may fly by, yet the weasel and ball relationship remains consistent. The weasel desires the ball, yet the ball is indifferent, maybe even a little bit distant. It flees. The weasel pursues. It is comedy and tragedy all rolled into one.”

Let’s amuse ourselves.

“Is this store some kind of joke?”
“No! We are a 100% absolutely legitimate serious Weasel Ball Super Store.”

The package is in the mailbox, twice.

I’m clearly too cryptic for my own good.

The converse to rightwingfacebook.org unfortunately does not exist.

I really really hope the Democrats don't screw this up again.
“I know. It will be hard to, but it's possible.”
I have faith in them. That statement works both ways.

“It's easier to run…”

It’s a new year.

It seems like the type of thing I should have gotten into in high school or even middle school, but it never happened.
“Above all, be ready to tell a good story.”

How did that happen.

“…Never moving forward so there'd never be a past…”

I am my own audience.

I think me clever. I amuse myself. My Away Messages are written for me.
Yet AIM is a medium for talking to others.
Furthermore, away messages implies that the narrator is absent.
So herein my Away Messages, others are hearing someone not there, talking to themself.

As I have for the past 6 years: This year I resolve to listen to myself.

The present is a strange collision between a past filled with certainty and a future with uncertainty. For as temporal perspective changes, so does everything else, except certainty. There’s nothing left to debate, so everything becomes debatable. The past has ended. The future will arrive. There is nothing that can be said that changes either.

Listen and learn.

Irresistable.
(put it in my mouth again)

I follow not eating for 24 hours with eating twice at Steak & Shake twice in the same evening.

Part cocktail party, part reunion.

Fast approaching.

It’s obviously Bigfoot.
“What? How is that casual?”
Have you ever seen Bigfoot… in a tuxedo?

Loser : 2003 :: Reality Bites : 2007

The meaning of Christmas is sharing leftover Chinese food.

Finding a counterexample for “knowing where something is implies knowing how to find it”.

“It’s like Jenga, only on a donkey.”

Restacking.

“Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow…”

Fedorable.