“That’s racist, and sexist, and 4-bit graphics.”

Wrong on so many levels.

It’s so funny how much none of it matters. It’s just, well, *funny*.

Since when did you become an optimist?
“I’m an optimist? That sucks. <pause> Actually, it’s not so bad.”

Free improv show tonight, 8pm, Brown 100. If you made it through the week, be there.

I've had better days and worse weeks.

Live your life like a bad interview.

“The problem with going to the Career Center for career advice is that you’re getting career advice from people whose career is working in the Career Center.”

Classics.

“PDFs are more secure. With a PDF I can’t just change your answers to lower your grade.”

Ambiguously vague.

“If you need to write more than 250 words, take out the prepositions.”
“Is that syntactically allowed?”
“This isn’t syntax.”

Cameras steal Lupe Fiasco’s soul.

Will wake for food.

If you have an offcampus mealplan, you should not be using points to eat breakfast.

“That’s right, when I put my foot down…”
It takes a while for it to hit the ground.

This is why I’m kept around.

“I’m not sure whether to start right now or to treasure the pristine collection.”
Choose what the 6 most memorable occasions of your life will be, and save them for them.
“The revolution and the first 5 purges.”
But what’s the 6th?
“Good! Although I was thinking along the lines of ‘Shame to use them all within 2 days.’.”

“Bacon is a vegetable.”
“Is that a reference to Francis Bacon?”

“You can’t say there are 4 mutton walking across the lawn. Because they wouldn’t be mutton.”

“Every time I eat salad I feel myself get a little bit stupider.”

Hungry for linguistics.

Any Tuesday with only minor surgery is a good Tuesday.

Every time it gets recorded you’ll hope, and every time it has been recorded you’ll wonder, if just one time a 9 gets recorded as a spare.

Scruffy came back and it’s only September.

Lamb is good.
Kreplah is good.
Good things are good.

“I remember when / I remember…”

Reroute: In the same place someplace else.

“…And I hope that you are having the time of your life / But think twice…”

“This mood of yours is temporary…”

Again I Go / Unnoticed

“…’cause if it's more than that, I fear that I might break…”

Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do.

“You will soon witness a miracle.”

Martyr’s μαρτυρ.

“You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily.”