It takes at most 5 seconds for a hobo to become a cannibal.

“Malthus discussed three steps of human agricultural society. Explain.”?
You totally should have answered “Doric, Ionic, and Corinthian.”.

It’s probably not mono and probably not appendicitis.

[It's a cute affection.]

One night of flight’s eclipse
Of parted lips
And your quirks, which perk me up, rips
No space between . . . [ellipse]

I need to be less allergic to people, events, and times of year.

"Name at least one thing you'd like to see ΗΣΦ do this year (activities, goals, community service, etc)."
Destroy Carthage.

When I panic, I become grammatically imperfect.

I wish I knew better than to draw a cypress well.

It’s still all about the θwaves. Always and forever.

I clean when I have insomnia. The converse is not necessarily true.

Putting the drama into dramatic irony.

<edit> <edit>

“All I ever wanted / All I ever needed / Is...”

Pathos or logos? It doesn't make sense- and I know it doesn't make sense- and yet I still want it. Why is there hopeless in hopeless romantic; crazy in crazy in love? INFJ, or ISTP? Does “it’s complicated” supercede any other potential declaration of relationship? Is it better to speak and apologize, if only for paradigmatically shifting? Can it ever be the same? Can one be tired and cannot sleep? Does one not want to be left, or not expect to be returned to? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, will it ever fly away?

Here ends stoicism. Ask instead about free will/fate, for it won’t matter.

“...Feelings are intense. Words are trivial...”

“Ma-ia-hii...”

If you hear it often enough, it must be true

“Oh, northern Indiana. I don’t do that. I only do <gestures> southern and <gestures> horizontal.”

Exceptional.

Correlation implies casualty. This test was so stupid I could kill someone.

The questions were like, “Who was this guy’s cousin.”
Oh, man, that sucks. Just guess Galton or Darwin.
<stares>
Oh. That was what it was asking, wasn’t it?
Well, I’m not getting that one right.

“Chicken Soup for the College Soul” should instead be “Ramen…”, and “…for the Collegiate Soul”.

"""Chicken Soup for the College Soul" should instead be "Ramen…", and "…for the Collegiate Soul"." should instead be ""Chicken Soup for the College Soul" should instead be "Ramen…", or "…for the Collegiate Soul".""

Deriving normal from mean deviations.

Xoxo kai Ex-ex-aye.
Dearest Cat Karayan:
I’m letting you know that
Whatever we do,

I feel I shall have to
Be ever so slightly
Unrequitisticly
In love with you.

Weekend weakened: Dearly
I aimed to be
Undaunted yet wanted to see
You, lying beside me.

Withdrew from Princess Bride Mafia (Mini 303) to take over moderating when the actual one disappeared, almost cancelling the game. As the protown vanilla Ancient Booer, I continued an annual precedent, by claiming to be Count Rugen, forgetting that one of the players was the moderator of the game I had been playing the previous April Fool’s Day. While the joke didn’t lead to my lynch, it wasn’t completely successful either. I felt strongly about someone who was later revealed to be the godfather, but the town instead lynched the SK. Thus that night, I was doublekilled by both the mafia and the vigilante.

Lacking full information as mod, I managed to adjudicate well enough- except for the overwhelmingly awful error of killing the wrong player. It thankfully did not affect the outcome: mafia win.

“Two more days before the plane arrives...”

Out of town for the weekend. L’shana tova.

“I suppose now would be a bad time to tell you that I have a lj.”
I suppose now would be a bad time to tell you that I've known since Day 2 of it. Do not underestimate my network of spies and assassins, my friend.