2/20/06

Dropping S&S party: good times, Italian food, and God will understand:

If the Lutherans are correct, then you didn’t need the organizational structure of a class to learn about religion anyway.
If the Calvinists are correct, then it was predetermined anyhow and now you know you’re saved.
If the Catholics are correct, it’s fine since you’ve made your confession and feel guilty about it.
If the Unitarians are correct, then since the class wasn’t on Sundays you don’t need to worry about it.
If the Hindus are correct, then you’ll just take the class again later.
If the Jews are correct, then since you’re celebrating with food it’s perfectly kosher.
If the Atheists are correct, then this definitely isn’t a problem.

2/19/06

I may have forgotten what to do on a Friday night on campus with a free weekend, but I have not forgotten how to sleep for 14 hours.

2/18/06

Rule of 27
The 1st time something funny is said: it’s funny.
The 2nd time: it might be funny.
The 3rd time: funny.
The 4th time: not funny.
The 5th time: might be funny.
The 6th time: not funny.
The 7th time: not funny.
The 8th time: not funny.
The 9th time: not funny.
The 10th time: ...not funny.
The 11th time: not funny.
The 12th time: not funny.
The 13th time: not funny.
The 14th time: not funny.
The 15th time: almost funny.
The 16th time: still not funny.
The 17th time: not funny.
The 18th time: not funny.
The 19th time: not funny.
The 20th time: not funny.
The 21st time: not funny.
The 22nd time: not funny.
The 23rd time: not funny. At all.
The 24th time: not funny.
The 25th time: not funny.
The 26th time: not funny.
The 27th time: funny.

The 28th time: not funny.

2/17/06

St. Louis weather is stupidcrazy. Yesterday it was 70; today, with wind chill, it’s to be 8.

Speaking of things that don’t make enough sense:
Tonight-7:30pm-Brown 100-Suspicious of Whistlers-free.

2/16/06

Romanian Poncho
Fill a cup with Coke.
Pour it out.
Fill the cup with Minute Maid Lemonade.
Add 2 limes.

2/15/06

So I had a bad dream the night before my Latin presentation on Suetonius, and I though about asking my professor for an extension in response to this bad omen. But then I thought to myself, what would Suetonius do? Why, he’d ask Pliny what to do! And sure enough Pliny has a letter in which he responds to Suetonius’s fears, and pointing out it might be a good omen, and the same thing once happened to him, and he’ll argue the case if he wants. And then offers the extension.

Not me. I can give a 20 minute presentation in 15 minutes.

2/14/06

"Everything women say is significant on some other level- and often strategically diabolical- whereas nothing men say has any meaning at all beyond the actual words. This is the cause of many if not most of all male-female strife."

Thinking of.

2/13/06

Team Romanian Poncho had a bonus about recurring female Star Trek characters, which I tuned out, since among other reasons I only knew one. And it was Her. And I would have been correct.
Somehow this hurts more than the 4-8 loss with a personally dismal performance.

2/12/06

No, Illinois: If I want to eat thick slabs of Italian food with a knife and fork, I’ll order lasagna.

2/10/06

Relationship Squeeze Theorem

     lim         relationship = 0
(t-> 2/14-)

As Valentine’s Day is approached, the more something in a relationship becomes nothing.
Also: something > goldfish > nothing.
Therefore, as it gets closer to Valentine’s Day, something becomes nothing, and thus the relationship becomes equal to a goldfish.
By definition of goldfish, another’s presence is insignificant, and you are playing with yourself.
Therefore, you better get her a Valentine’s Day gift, dearie QED.

2/9/06

I'd never been poked before now. Yet after abstaining from poking for so long, I feel I have to ask myself... was it a little anticlimatic? I mean, all that buildup, and you always hear people talking about getting poked, and it's all over the facebook, and it seems like everybody's doing it. But, well, I guess I never found that special someone to be poked by. But even if it does feel a little meaningless, I'll always remember and treasure my first poke. I hope it was as special for you as it was for me.

But, I mean, we can definitely poke each other again sometime if you want. Call me.

[Uh, that's it? That's your idea of a poke? Oh-kay. Sorry, dearie, but I've had much better.]

2/8/06

Threptoi; because even in a 400-level Latin class it is sometimes necessary to make dead baby jokes.

2/7/06

“You can’t be prompted on “Pride”.”

Team Devastatingly Hip, having traveled to Chicago prepared to potentially not win a single game at the ACF tournament, managed to go 4-9 to tie for 7th. And we had fun. And made good time on the trip back. And didn’t get a ticket. And might have left the buzzers in the car. <pats back condescendingly>

JFK or RFK?
“RFK. We didn't get a chance to see what he was going to do.”
Or who.

2/6/06

By the time one discovers the Gobstopper is hollow, it is too late to do anything meaningful regarding it.

2/5/06

(Broke)Back(to the Future)

2/3/06

1/2 season.

Plus 6 more weeks of winter, though I’m not sure how to count 1 weekend in Chicago; allegedly there will be snow.

2/2/06

WWJD
INFJ

2/1/06

To WUPD, “very important” translates to “a loose bike lock”.

1/31/06

“Nobody is more important than this conversation. Nobody is definitely more important than the Orbit Gum girl, though.”
Ergo the Orbit Gum girl is a ham sandwich QED.
“(a+b^n)/n = x, therefore Nobody is more important than her.”

Nobody is featured in an important StudLife article! [p.10]

But if God doesn't exist, the above does not hold. So I have a decision to make: Him, Her, or Nobody?
“Her, obviously.”
Obviously.
“Obviously. Obviously.. Obviously... obviously?”
Careful there; you're straying into clearly territory.
“Obviously!”

1/30/06

Please tell everyone your name, where you’re from, your favorite color, and how you would contract AIDS.
---
Nobody needs a better introduction. I desperately need to update the Nobody facebook page ASAP. Please send me clever ideas for stuff I can put for personal info, courses, groups, etc.