At a mall, a $1/use massage chair should not be placed outside of Brookstone.

2₃

For Chanukkah I got a calendar, a puzzle book, and a delicious zeugma which regrettably would take numerous Mondays before I would refer to it non-cryptically.

[Circular, but if anyone manages to figure this one out, I will tell them.]

This was not the best year for celebrating Chanukkah, with the menorah left in St. Louis, sufganiyot raided by canine, and other events arising on at least half of the nights. Maybe I should just try again next week, when the holiday won’t have to compete with Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year’s, or Boxing Day.

This year I resolve to understand the hints and interpret the clues and solve the puzzles and unlock the mysteries, for the challenge and pleasure and personal improvement, with old friends and new friends, again.

“There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination...”

The one born yesterday is eldest tomorrow. The one younger than you is older than you; the one younger than you leads your life. You are older than you will be and younger than you have been. Past is present; a future date was marked last night. The year is over and about to begin and already begun and still going. Everyone knows the truth: everything is a lie.

“...It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone...”

Fortune cookies are as odd as context:
“Before you wonder ‘Am I doing things right’, ask ‘Am I doing the right things?’”

We had plenty of time. We were in our seats a good 20 or 30 seconds before the lights began dimming.

“We’re looking for 6029. We were just at 7000, and the numbers were decreasing. Now we are at 1000. Therefore, this road is a tesseract.”

“Digital circuits are made from analog parts.”

“I used to be Republican, until the church took over the party.”
“I used to be Catholic, until the Republican Party took over the church.”

“I hate Duke. Because everyone there is preppy. And it’s in Durham, so those that aren’t preppy are Southern.”

“Better aim at the moon than shoot into the well.”

“I wish I could just be Content […].”

The biggest problem with Serenity is that it is worse than the Firefly. The rest are little problems which involve spoilers.

While “Barry Trotter and the Unauthorized Parody” has some clever ideas, it suffers since what it is trying to parody is already too clever. With what it is trying to parody being more fun, it just isn’t enjoyable enough to read.

Taking another look.

Misplaced.

"It is a requirement that every mathematics teacher teach you something illegal."
In B[]'s case, how to kill yourself.

Would that my GPA went up every time I was wrong, Cliff was right, and my personal philosophy was shaken.

The AC/heater has an analog dial for temperature and 4 levels of intensity (high, medium, low, off). These combine to exactly 3 permutations: {cold, hot, off}.

My spatially optimized room setup has a flaw: climate.

Every 4 minutes someone in Canada gets a concussion.
This is not why my head hurts.

I cannot catch a shuttle for the life of me.

(Actually, it's more of a general failure at being able to get to the Galleria.)

I have class not only on reading week, but also on reading weekend. By choice. I feel so academic.

All this philosophy is well and good, but when do we get to kill someone?

Photographic evidence is as fleeting as battery life: blink and it's gone, forgotten like a passed milestone. A neat vanishing trick, if you can furnish it; it'll make your head hurt and put your hands on your hips. Only thing to do is to do it yesterday, and try again today. Somehow it’ll fit together. Together we stand alone.

Engage
eXplore
Collaborate
Execute
Leave them smiling

Sometimes customer service stops at execution.

“Can I nominate A[] for recognition since she hasn’t killed any customers today?”

Won Mafia 40, the Worst Game Ever. Ironically, given that I was part of the Newbie mafia and got investigated Night 1, it might even be for the best that my Day 1 actions were indefensible, so that my fellow newbie mafias weren’t exposed defending me. Not that that’s any defense, though it is a convenient rationalization.

"Well, it looks like we got a mafia."
"How do you figure?"
"He didn't have a gun."
"So?"
"Guns don't kill people, people kill people!"
"Then how did he kill people?"
"With his stethoscope."

Finally attended a Midnight Breakfast, having not made it to either of last year’s. And was underwhelmed. Sure it’s free CC, but the lines are long and the supply of food is short. So I take the provided dinnerware, go to Ursa’s, and still haven’t eaten at Midnight Breakfast.

If I want free food, I’ll hit the Classics department.