The biggest problem with Serenity is that it is worse than the Firefly. The rest are little problems which involve spoilers.

While “Barry Trotter and the Unauthorized Parody” has some clever ideas, it suffers since what it is trying to parody is already too clever. With what it is trying to parody being more fun, it just isn’t enjoyable enough to read.

Taking another look.

Misplaced.

"It is a requirement that every mathematics teacher teach you something illegal."
In B[]'s case, how to kill yourself.

Would that my GPA went up every time I was wrong, Cliff was right, and my personal philosophy was shaken.

The AC/heater has an analog dial for temperature and 4 levels of intensity (high, medium, low, off). These combine to exactly 3 permutations: {cold, hot, off}.

My spatially optimized room setup has a flaw: climate.

Every 4 minutes someone in Canada gets a concussion.
This is not why my head hurts.

I cannot catch a shuttle for the life of me.

(Actually, it's more of a general failure at being able to get to the Galleria.)

I have class not only on reading week, but also on reading weekend. By choice. I feel so academic.

All this philosophy is well and good, but when do we get to kill someone?

Photographic evidence is as fleeting as battery life: blink and it's gone, forgotten like a passed milestone. A neat vanishing trick, if you can furnish it; it'll make your head hurt and put your hands on your hips. Only thing to do is to do it yesterday, and try again today. Somehow it’ll fit together. Together we stand alone.

Engage
eXplore
Collaborate
Execute
Leave them smiling

Sometimes customer service stops at execution.

“Can I nominate A[] for recognition since she hasn’t killed any customers today?”

Won Mafia 40, the Worst Game Ever. Ironically, given that I was part of the Newbie mafia and got investigated Night 1, it might even be for the best that my Day 1 actions were indefensible, so that my fellow newbie mafias weren’t exposed defending me. Not that that’s any defense, though it is a convenient rationalization.

"Well, it looks like we got a mafia."
"How do you figure?"
"He didn't have a gun."
"So?"
"Guns don't kill people, people kill people!"
"Then how did he kill people?"
"With his stethoscope."

Finally attended a Midnight Breakfast, having not made it to either of last year’s. And was underwhelmed. Sure it’s free CC, but the lines are long and the supply of food is short. So I take the provided dinnerware, go to Ursa’s, and still haven’t eaten at Midnight Breakfast.

If I want free food, I’ll hit the Classics department.

Didn't learn.
For the identification of the Ides of March I wanted to conclude with something of the form: "And approximately 2000 years later, Fabio would be born." But [as stated in a long-previous Away Message] I was running short on time and my last two answers were slightly weaker, and I didn't want the professor to think that I was wasting time on pranks instead of regurgitating knowledge. Opportunity lost.

If a tree falls in a forest and hits a mime, would anyone care?
(The final word is strictly intransitive; there is not even an implied object.)

Holiday Hootenanny: Orange juice provided.

My seeming inability to show up at certain morning events recently is totally the fault of an unreliable snooze button.

“...ac non verba sequi fidibus modulanda Latinis,
sed verae numerosque modosque ediscere vitae.”

Satur Horace.

That’s it! I’m putting up a quoteboard!
<dramatically throws down stuff>
<dramatically storms out>
<returns>
Er, I need these.
<picks up keys>
<leaves>