Keep moving.

Bravman’s Razor
All other things being equal, the most complicated solution is best.

I would be more successful if I were having less fun.

I’m not sure which is more wrong: the statement or the definition of successful. At least I know for sure I've gotten something out of college.

1) You're hungry. 2) You're craving a specific food. This isn't a hard one.
“But you're forgetting 3) I'm lazy.”
Okay, I forgive you. Also, this might become an Away Message soon.
“Well make sure to edit it suck that I have proper grammar. Um. Such. Not suck.”
That also might become an Away Message soon.
“I thought you might say that.”
I'll take an easy one.

This might become easy soon.

“I am going to go buy good. Er, food.”
Good for you. Er, food for you.

Epic conclusion

"SUSPICIOUSLY SHAMEFUL"
or
"WHISTLING DIXIE"
a two-act play in one act
adapted for the stage by
DANNY BRAVMAN
for
NO SHAME THEATRE
at
WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY
in
SAINT LOUIS
on
MAY 7, 2008
starring
FIVE GUYS
FIVE GIRLS
and
SATHYA SRIDHARAN

“He speaks in riddles… I do not comprehend!”

“I don’t care if…”

Calendar Quiz

“1. What happened in Philadelphia and London on Tuesday, September 8, 1752?
2. What month did the October Revolution occur in?
3. Why are July and August the same length?
4. You there! What day is this?!”

What the dickens.

The only one of these I had to look up was 4. Tuesday. May 6. I'm not even sure that's right.
“The correct response is "Why today sir? It's Christmas day!"”

what time is it in bloomington
no really.what time is it

“…Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too…”

“Monday morning, hesitate / I can’t get out of bed…”

Jello Theory
You want Jello.
But it takes overnight to set, and you won’t want it in the morning.
And for this reasoning you didn’t make Jello last night.
Therefore, make it tonight, so that when the same thing happens tomorrow night, you won’t not have made it.

“…A box of memories lying…”

It’s never too late for the Jello Theory.

“…It’s too late / to let all your feelings show…”

It’s never too late for Jello.

“…Running out of time tonight…”

It’s never too late.

“…It’s too late…”

Do not watch Lost while feverish.

I got this crazy idea that Matthew Fox was actually Sawyer and Josh Holloway was actually Jack. No, really. Hear me out.

Check plus, mate in, 3.
I need to have taken more classes with Laura Castanon.

“There are spacegoats in my paper.”

Too many pages.

The worst thing about a Chipotle opening a block away is having its Free Burrito Day occurring during Passover.

“In the end…”

Whenever someone says that they are unfamiliar with a given plot, I immediately instinctively inform them that the relevant character dies in the end. (With some obvious exceptions, eg: Memento “they die in the beginning”; Titanic “it sinks”) Mostly this preemptively guards against any accidental blurting of a spoiler I might make. However, it is also remarkable how often it happens to be either true or interesting.

Tonight things end.

“…What it meant to me will eventually be a memory…”

Where the WILD things are.
(Last class -> first WILD, by way of once per semester frisbee.)

“Everybody has to be someplace.”

In a Philadelphia in “The Philadelphia” in Olin 2 at 2pm.

“Everyone like the scene?”
No. Can we do a different one?

Feasting on lambrosia.

(Cena Deorum)

“I woke up with a feeling that something bad was going to happen. Are things good where you are?”

It’s easy to miss something you’re not looking for.

DreamR[] is a very bad driver.
"RealLifeR[] is probably a worse driver."

The advantage of procrastinating cleaning one’s kitchen is that instead of with a pun comparing it to the Iraq War, one can accurately compare it to an earthquake disaster zone.

Inconsistent.

The afikomen could be hidden inside a turducken to ensure that, by the time dinner is finished, the meal is.

"The man is pointing his remote at the tent wall."
It's a rerun.

Most Mysterious Enigma Wrapped in a Riddle

"She's serving chopped up scraps of the tent."
They're leftovers.

Thank you very much; were Suspicious of Whistlers!

That's more than 1 word.