All normal people are alike; every crazy person is crazy in their own way.

“Moo.”

Pizza and accordians and waking up at 7:15am: The more found, the more missed.

“Ribbit.”

“Make me a pizza.”

I can’t go to a bar to not drink because I don’t have a fake ID. This takes absurdity past the level of soulless parasol wielding Japanese tourists.

We have 3 copies of this book: one is marked at $14.95, one at $15.95, and one at $16.95. And the one marked at $15.95 is preprinted at $14.95 and in the computer at $16.95.

"Don't you just love when you get blindsided by something you never ever saw coming?"

Taken aback. I’m still not sure.

Countdown.

Everything should have a penguin easteregged in it somewhere.

I need a pancake.

“I’ve grown accustommed to your face...”

After the first listening, the liked songs are kept, and those that are hopelessly irredeemable are discarded. But there are inevitably some indeterminate songs. Some may have uncertain melodic, thematic, or lyric quality; others may be positive in one category but negative in another, with uncertain net. These are borderline music.

All music deserves one listening, for the purpose of evaluation, except country.

Inverse Ninja Theorem
The total power of ninja in a location does not depend on the number of ninja.

Saw Pirates 3. Better than the second, with more plot but less action; but worse than the first.

“Oh.”
Everyone was thinking it, but someone had to say it.

To know about the game is to play the game.
To think about the game is to lose the game.
If you lose the game, you must announce it; then there is a 30 minute period during which the game cannot be lost.

I managed to remember the game while forgetting to lose it. Is it possible to win the game?

Tell me something.
“I just lost the game.”

Rome to home.

I must, I trust, eschew
Blindsided view
With respect to perspective, to
See without eye ‘pon you.
---
Today’s words: Ciao bella

All things have mass.
Paris is worth a mass.
Therefore, we’ll always have Paris.

Gerald Ford : Richard Nixon :: Arnold Schwarzenegger : Paris Hilton
---
Today’s word: Sempre

“UoV egw genomhn agapwmenou wme migeisa…”
I have become beloved of swine.
---
Today’s word: Cripta

Vae victis.

“‘It’s like the Roman Empire. Wasn’t everybody running around just covered with syphilis? And then it was destroyed by the volcano.’ Do you think she was right? Why or why not?”
I can provide no better answer than to quote Suetonius’s completely accurate account of Aeneas’s final words to C. Mussolini Caesar, which were inscribed on the Aswan granite wall dividing the temples of Fortuna and Mater Matuta: “You lolligag to first. You lolligag to second. You lolligag to third. What does that make you? A heffalump.”

(-50 for not including a solution to the Corner Triglyph Problem)
---
Today’s word: Rovina

“What’s the difference between grad school and hell?”
“You’d never tell anyone to go to grad school”.

“How much sleep did you get the first year?”
“Don’t answer that.”

“A classics PhD is a guarantee that you’re somewhat literate.”
---
Today’s word: Lavoro

Gilette’s Razor
All things being equal, the simplest solution works, but a multi-blade approach works better.
---
Today’s word: Lavoro

Sitting in one place for days on end and letting the bowling balls crash upon my head, my record is 75.
---
Today’s word: Lavoro

If I don’t get free time, no one gets free time.
---
Today’s word: Lavoro