Once Mars was returning from a victorious battle in Etruria when a great hunger overtook him. Seeing a flock, the son of Jove began eating the sheep. Their shepherd, Perioche, overcome by the sight of the blood-covered god, went to King Tarquin the Flamboyant, who advised him to pray for intervention. Some say that the king advised that votives be offered to Ceres, who, with the ancient procedures having been satisfied, caused an almond tree to spring up by which Mars’s hunger might be sated. From this came the term bread of Mars, or Martis panis. But most hold that the shepherd prayed to Pan, who transformed the sheep into almonds, which were referred to as the almonds of Pan for Mars, or Marti Panis. In accordance with this, the people of Rome prepare, shape, and consume marzipan.
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Today’s word: Marzapane

Sit tibi terra levis
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Today’s word: Carcare

The basilica of St. John Lateran contains impressively imposing religious scuptures, in particular a gallery of the 12 apostles each holding an instrument. This clearly should form the basis of a video game in which these characters engage in acts of smiting. It should be called Moral Kombat.
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Today’s word: Ecumenico

So, those of you who attended any of my parties over the summer should surely recall my hosting technique of offering cans of Sunkist or Pepsi. I won't get into why I like Sunkist; but the Pepsi is because I genuinely like it better than Coca-Cola. I'll drink Coke if I don't have a choice, but I prefer the other taste. So, having said that, curse you, Coca-Cola, for your kudzian proliferation of Fanta throughout the civilized world.

Chinotto is the opposite of fennel. The one seems decent when it is first put in the mouth, only to then have a most bitter lasting aftertaste; the other vice versa. And, chinotto has ties to fascism.

Damn it, I'm in Europe, I want Orangina.
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Today’s word: Chinotto

Anchorman has its moments, admittedly. Unfortunately, there are better parodies of news shows in modern satire; this one doesn’t try to be good, just funny. And the humor is of people lying badly. It also probably should have been seen prior to viewing Talladega Nights.
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Today’s word: Sveglia

Despite the bad travel karma starting upon leaving the Centro and continuing to return, I accomplished what I wanted to in Florence: Uffizi Gallery, Duomo, a touch of Wash U, an enchilada, and precedent set. And now I know what not to do for future trips. I will give Florence this: As strongly as I must say the Tiber flows, the Arno could wrestle it.
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Today’s word: Retardo

[Back, with the weekend's travel karma hopefully finally ended.]

Florence for the weekend, with an Italian SIM cell number: (39) 328-975-3404
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Today’s word: Treno

There is a television channel in Italy called FoxCrime. It is not intended to be ironic.
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Today’s word: Ammorbidente

“There’s some weird echoing, and I sound petulant.”

If you ever don’t want to talk to someone, just date them and cheat on them.

"I don't want him to break up with me. He'll just date another whore."
I think that came out wrong.
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Today’s word: Fustagazione

“You are flying on a plane with your 2 children, when suddenly the oxygen masks descend. Which child do you save first?”
Assume identical twins, to remove the factor of one being more likely to save/survive independently.
“This is more thought than has ever been put into this question.”
Then... hm. Eh, save the one you like more.
“<laughs>”
This would make a good O. Henry story: A parent who favors one twin over the other, but one day the children trade places, and as a result the parent saves the wrong child.
“Or a movie starring the Olsen twins.”
Who would be the bad one?
“Clearly the anorexic one.”
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Today’s word: Ragazzi

“Forza Ragazzi...”

Expected soccer to be more culturally exotic, but the experience was rather similar to American football, albeit not unenjoyable. Notable differences were security preventing bottlecaps from being brought into the stadium, “Cipster” potato chips offered by vendors, and painfully overacted injuries.

Out of deference to a taxi driver, if not my region, I will secondarily root for Lazio. But Roma will always be first.
“Veni vidi vici.”
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Today’s word: Ricordare

Never have I ever said never have I ever played never have I ever playing never have I ever.
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Today’s word: Partita

“Like a cat in heat stuck...”

All roads lead to Rome- specifically, to the Torre Argentina.

“...What you waiting / What you waiting / What you waiting / What you waiting / What you waiting for...”
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Today’s word: Via

Pathologica
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Today’s word: Sacchetto

The silly thing about Top Gun has nothing to do with ironical retrospection of Tom Cruise. It’s that it’s totally a romance and it doesn’t even realize it itself.
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Today’s word: Obelisco

Ocean’s 11 offers merely a plot, but a detailed one. Indeed, it is remarkable in the absence of other elements; for unlike others of its genre, it does not worry about psychology, betrayal, or mystery, and this focus gives it strength.
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Today’s word: Ombrello

Euro Trip is silly, but thematically so. It’s Summer Vacation, it’s exotic and foreign, it’s a quick sample of something that shouldn’t last any longer than it takes. It’s more something to see with friends than an actual experience. It’s not real, but it doesn’t try to be.
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Today’s words: Mi scusi

Zoolander is a movie that is so bad that it bounced off the floor into good, then off the ceiling back into bad, before hitting the floor once more to rebound into some disoriented state of quality. Even with Italian subtitles.
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Today’s word: Atterra

7, trying to return from the Piazza Navona after an exciting day of not-shopping, chase and catch a bus terminating at a garage, which after being descended through turns out to be outside St. Peter’s. After emerging and plotting to liberate Caesar’s ashes, a huge park bars our way. Wary of venturing into it after dark, we nevertheless decide to brave the crossing, entering through a found gate. A sign on the fences that needed to be jumped for exit informed that we had just trespassed on private property. While going around the Aurelian Wall blocking our further progress, we discover that the “park” was actually part of the Pontific College. Dumpster diving for discarding Masonic insignia, we return in time to hunt for reservationless dinner for 14 on a Saturday night.

A bar and 8 hours later, a great view of the city and the recent adventure are discovered amid religion and crepes.