There's an out-of-print Clue variant called Clue Master Detective, differing from the regular version mostly by offering more possibilities {10 suspects, 8 weapons, 12 rooms}. Also, certain squares of an enlarged board allow when passed over one to snoop a card from another's hand. (There is a slight procedural difference when making suggestions which isn't necessarily necessary.)

Generally, the strategy is don't be the Candlestick and wander the hallways.

Why do her parents travel so much? Does her father sell airplanes parts?
You know, *our* father sells airplane parts.

So let's say you have a hypothetical poker game. You're not playing in it, though, just hosting, with, say, 4 others playing. And then you get another group of 4 together, and have them bet on who wins the poker game. (Like in "Rat Race", sort of.) But then you get a third group of 4, and have them bet on who wins the second group's bet. And then have a fourth group bet on the third group. Now, what would happen if you had the first group stop playing poker and instead bet on the fourth group?
The world blows up.
Maybe I could sell this to North Korea.

Bratty Little Sister : Spit :: Self : Candyland

There's a little known rule that when one reaches the end of the Candyland board, one starts going backwards, allowing the game to keep going, potentially indefinitely, unless one cheats to allow the other player to win. The same might be needed for Spit games at odd hours of the night.

Really, why haven't Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp ever done anything together? The only reason I can think of is perhaps they have religious differences. Like one's a Methodist and the other's Episcopalian.
Because they're so religious.
They are! Angelina Jolie is definitely a Satanist. And Johnny Depp's a Mormon.

Elephant and elephant: Before and after dipping into the Natural History museum for its Western Civilization exhibit, I had occasion to stop by the Zoo, where I observed a mommy elephant and a baby elephant enjoying an educational lunch. The baby repeatedly tried to master the skill of pulling branches off of trees, a task requiring a movement of simultaneously pulling and twisting. However, he attempted only the former, wrapping his trunk around a large branch and walking backwards until it slipped from its grasp. The mother would allow the baby to munch on decreasing amounts of dropped foliage from her own bundle after each failure, but she finally left seeming to have given up disappointedly. I myself had the worst snow cone I had ever tried to eat before giving up and throwing half of it out in disgust. It seemed to be flavored red-, yellow-, and blue-food coloring. There just really isn’t anything good to eat at the Zoo unless you’re a carnivore.

Rockville’s Tara Asia, besides not having a Tara Thai within 5 blocks, offers discounts at Regal, providing a bonus if one irresponsibly were to not purchase tickets beforehand. “I, Robot” was interesting enough for me to want to read Asimov’s, though only a copy of the New Yorker could be found. At least I got to meet one of the adoring fans of “Danny is cool” club.

Do you ever narrate what you're doing like a movie promo?
"It looked good from every angle. Except one angle...
...the right angle."
I used to a lot, but now only when I hang streamers.

Hence:
"It was a seemingly nice day out. Mid 70s, maybe brimming the 80s. Everything seemed pleasant. It was a good day for a party...
...and then the air conditioning broke."

(Happy 60th.)

I did have the opportunity to expose my Inker statuette, although no luck in this week's Style Invitational, despite my submitting a couple tasteless entries. {pedicure: (n) surgical procedure repeatedly yet unsuccessfully attempted by Michael Jackson.} But while anyone can make Pedophilia jokes, who can make Philadephia jokes? And at 1:30 AM?

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Ben Franklin.
Ben Franklin who?
Been frank, Linda, but I think I'll be dishonest from now on.

"Dixitque Dominus ad me ecce coepi tradere tibi Seon et terram eius incipe possidere eam. Egressusque est Seon obviam nobis cum omni populo suo ad proelium in Iesa. Et tradidit eum Dominus Deus noster nobis percussimusque eum cum filiis et omni populo suo. Cunctasque urbes in tempore illo cepimus interfectis habitatoribus earum viris ac mulieribus et parvulis non reliquimus in eis quicquam."

Deuteronomy 2:31-34

If anyone hasn't had a chance to watch Ken Jennings on Jeopardy, tonight is the final episode of the season. At $1,246,660 over 37 days he has broken every existing Jeopardy record (except for the single day total, which he has tied 3 times). In real life, he writes trivia questions, in addition to watching movies.

[Make that $1,321,660 over 38 days, with every record broken.]

[For those as new to this as me, these questions and answers appear at View my complete profile to the right.]

Just when I thought I had escaped character limits. *150*?!

For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:
Your gift recalls not only one grandfather’s pancakes, but also my other grandfather’s syrup farm; but since I don't do roosters, I have to return it.

I had to excise all of the formulaic touches which added to the nuances of sincerity and insincerity. ("Thank you so much for you thoughtful gift/It was really thoughtful/Hope to see you soon.") Still, these prompts seem fun enough to try, say, weekly.

(The correct gift would have been an elephant, although partial credit might be available for something feline. The day, incidentally, is a week from Tuesday.)

It is funny what one can discover by venturing back to high school, even at 10:30 PM in the middle of summer. Like a perfectly good umbrella lying extended behind the bike racks out front, just waiting for someone to claim it.

And if one were to not go on an abortive nostalgic traipsing through the building, "I suddenly had to go to Home Depot and pick up some boards", while implausible enough to be believable, would not be an acceptable excuse.

[Bratty little sister's message taking skills might be. Do better next time, or I might link to you!]

Things are changing

Foremost, I will be beginning to attend Washington University in a few weeks.  For that I have obtained many new things, prominent among which is a computer, the fabulous Vanessa.  Which, being connected by a most unreliable wireless connection, makes daily Away Messages impractical and inefficient just when I have so much I want to say.  So, appropriately enough, it is time to try something new.
 
Let EmpTyger eternally rule over yesterday.  It is time for the present; now let AnnydayEveryday be. 
 
It might take a while to settle into a format, so please be patient.  I will try to predate some Away Messages: at the very least since my Away Messaging was interrupted, and time permitting possibly back to January 2002.  Traditions begun with them will be continued as they arise.